IMPORTANT?! Who is your fav boy? xx

Harry is bae

Joy do u want the little blurb to be sexual or can it just be cute and cuddly

cute and cuddly is always perfect

where's the faq
Why do we live in a generation where everyone constantly has to be in love with someone else & always has to be sad. What about the happiness? & going on dates without committing {yanno testing the waters and all} kissing goodbye on the porch and actually calling the next day. Listen to some upbeat songs & kiss thousands of boys. Don't fall in love so quick. That's what I say man

This should be a bible scripture

My mom started reading 50 shades of grey today and she came in my room and was like "can't believe I let you read this" haha

It’s great

Pause. Is the one shot the one with the picture or a real story?

Real story

Approximately how many words do you want the one shot to be

Like a paragraph haha

So you like 50 shades of grey? Why

I love it idk I just read it one day and was like well FUCK OK I COULD ROLL WITH THIS

I know I might sound stupid *sigh* but what exactly is a blurb? xx

It’s okay, it’s like a little one shot :)

When's your birthday

November 12th and all I want is a jarry manip bye

I wish I was good enough to become a co-owner but I am a terrible writer and editing photos so that's me out :) but I hope the best person wins and I won't be hating because I love this blog sooooo much :)

A saint in the flesh I tell you

Submit applications by August 5th and I will pick on August 7th :)


The time has come, I have stepped out of the cloud of denial and decided that it is time to pick a..


yes yes finally right jeex wtf was wrong with me

I’m going to be perfectly frank with you, this blog stresses me out a hella lot sometimes and i FINALLY REALIZED THAT I NEED HELP.

But this also comes with more strict guidelines to co-owning with me

Below are the rules/tips for your application. 

Application Requires

  • Name
  • Age
  • Have you ever written one shots or fanfics before?
  • Are you busy often?
  • WILL YOU HAVE THE EMOTIONAL STABILITY TO RECEIVE HATE (this is important bc that happens alot and if you can’t handle it I will be very sad and cut a bitch for you, but it would be nice to limit that haha but seriously.)
  • What country are you from (you know, timezones)
  • Why do you think I should choose YOU for co-owner.

That will help me determine your strengths ya feel me

if you have questions ask

And that’s it. I hope to hear from some of you :)

Note: Send through SUBMIT

Personal Experience: Chapter Twenty-Eight

*Harry’s P.O.V.*

I hold onto Colleen as tightly as possible never wanting to let her go. Not in this crowd. We finally get to our boarding dock as our private jet pulls in. We’re in a blocked off area so that no one can get to us. It’s not private, but it keeps others away. I stare at Colleen as she looks out the window watching the sunrise. I check my watch not thinking it’s nearly eight am. Another ten minutes pass, and we’re allowed to board our plane. “You ready to go, Love?” I ask wrapping my arms around her.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she asks. “The sunrise, that is.”

“I thought you were talking about yourself for a second there,” I chuckle kissing the top of her head.

“I’m ready,” she says. I take Colleen’s hand in mine as we make our way onto the private jet. Because we have to stay in seats as the jet takes off. I give Colleen the window seat, and I sit next her. Louis and Niall behind us, Zayn, Liam and Nicole are on the other side. In the center of the jet there are beds we can all sleep on; but we have to take turns since there are only five. Once the light goes off that we can unbuckle Colleen says, “I’m going to sleep.” She gets up from her seat taking the bed right next to us.

As soon as I know she’s asleep I slip from my seat to kneel at the side of the bed. I place my hand on her cheek then stroke the soft skin of her face. “You seriously love her, don’t you Haz?” I hear Liam behind me.

"Why wouldn’t I?" I chuckle.

"No reason," he laughs sitting next to me. "Did you set anything up for the psychiatrist?"

"Yes. She’s meeting us at the hotel. She’ll be coming everywhere with us as well."

"I know we all have been asking this question a lot," says Liam, "But will that be safe? Will it get out that we brought a psychiatrist on tour with us? Speculations will happen, and it’ll get crazy."

"Maybe. We can plan further ahead when we meet her." I continue to stare at Colleen as she breaths evenly.

"She looks so peaceful when she sleeps," Liam speaks.

"I hate that it’s the only way when she looks like that…"

"When was the last time anything happened?"

"Like what?"

"Any nightmares? Any time she pulled away from you?"

"The nightmares are still happening. Nowhere near as often as they used to. The last one was the night she and I went out to dinner."

"What was it about?"

"She wouldn’t tell me this time…" I look up at him for the first time.

"I hope it wasn’t something too serious. You don’t think she’s been keeping anything else from you?"

"I hope not," I sigh. The two of us stand up to join the others in the kitchen for something to eat after I kiss the top of Colleen’s head, “Sweet dream, my Love.”

"Look at the little lover boy,” Louis teases.

"Oh, shut it, Lou," I push him sideways sitting next to him. Nicole hands a cup of tea to Liam and me, "Thanks, Nicki," I smile.

"So," Niall laughs, "What are you two girls gonna do being the only two this time ‘round?"

"Like the two of us can’t handle you five," she answers sternly laughing along with all of us.

A few hours pass as our flight to the U.S. continues. We’re starting on the west coast making our way over to the east; PA being the last stop as a surprise for Colleen. It’s been a long time since she’s last seen them. Actually, I think the last time she was even in the States was when I first met her parents.


"Looks like you can’t make fun of me for being nervous when I met your family," Colleen says snickering as we drive from the airport.

"There’s a difference here!" I panic.

"Oh? And what would be?"

"I’m meeting your dad for the first time! There’s a difference when a dad meets his daughter’s boyfriend for the first time! Let alone one who’s famous… That’s got to give him the wrong idea!"

"Harry," she says placing her hand on my leg, "Harry. If anything my dad will be upset that I’m the one dating a pop star. I’m his little girl… Found that one out the hard way…" That started when Niall first suggested moving her out to us.

"Exactly. You’re his little girl! He’s going to be protective of you!"

"Calm down, Haz."

The three and a half hour drive from JFK is finally over, and we’re pulling into her driveway. Her house is an old fashioned Tudor home; like a Snow White house. I start walking to the large, wooden front door when Colleen tugs me in the other direction. “There’s a side door,” she smiles up at me.

“There they are!” her mum yells as we walk through the door; but she freezes in her tracks when she sees Harry. “Colleen!” she shouts.


“You didn’t tell us you were dating this Harry!”

“You didn’t tell them?” I ask.

“Um… No…”

“That’s what you meant by ‘If anything my dad will be upset that I’m the one dating a pop star’?”

“Yea…” she scratches the back of her head. “Surprise.” Her dad stops in his tracks as well when he walks into the living room. “Hi, daddy!” she says happily. Colleen lets go of my hand and runs to her father. He’s watching me over her shoulder making me even more nervous than I already am.

“Mr. Burke,” I nod.

“Harry,” he nods back. I walk over to him when Colleen motions me. I shake his hand trying not to tremble too much. I can see she has both of their looks; but more so her mother’s. She has her mother’s eyes. I can see why she jokes she’s her mum’s mini-me.

“Dad! You said you wouldn’t act like this. You didn’t with the others!” Colleen whines. He whispers something to her making her glare at him then they both lighten up.

“Come on, Harry,” Mrs. Burke says. “Take a seat,” she smiles at me. The rest of the day goes smoothly as Colleen’s dad lightens up. A bit. As I’m helping Mrs. Burke clean up after dinner I over hear Colleen and her dad talking.

“Dad, he’s not going to do anything!” she whispers angrily. “Why can’t we share my room?”

“I don’t trust him yet.”

“Dad. I’ve been dating him for almost a year now; he hasn’t tried anything. And you know I wouldn’t let him. You saw how I was with the last one.” I hear her dad laugh. “Dad! I’m being serious!” she laughs back.

“Okay. Okay. I know you can take care of yourself.”

“Come on, Harry! I want to show you the room I grew up in!” she grabs my hand.

“Okay, okay!” I laugh. We run upstairs to her bedroom straight to her room. It’s a big room with a good sized walk in closet and her own bathroom. The walls are painted a light yellow with a light green carpet. Her walls are covered in superhero pictures with comic book boxes spread throughout her room. I never knew she was this into superheroes. Colleen tugs at my hand pulling me from my thoughts over to her bed. A Queen size bed sits in front of a large window, and an even larger window that you can sit in on the wall to the right. She pulls me harder when we end up falling back on her bed.

I land on top her, but catch myself before I squish her. “Hi,” she giggles.

“Hi,” I kiss her nose.

“So?” she asks.

“Your dad definitely doesn’t like me…” I say, “But I think your mum does…”

“My dad does like you; but like we were saying before, I’m his little girl. His Princess.” I take her lips in mine, and after a few minutes later we hear an ‘mmph’ come from behind us. We jump up seeing Colleen’s mum standing in the doorway.

“Hi mom,” she laughs blushing.

“I trust you to be smart, Colleen,” she laughs back.

When she walks away I ask, “Is she going to tell your dad?!”

“Most likely.”


“They don’t keep secrets. Besides, they have to know we make out,” she gets up to shut the door. I turn over holding myself up by my elbows. She straddles me then says, “Now. Where were we?” she pulls me up bringing out lips back together. I wrap my hands around her small waist grinding into her. “Harry,” she gasps pulling from me. “Not here!” then laughs.

“Come on, baby,” I whine.

“No. This is not where we’re going to do this for the first time!” she continues to laugh. I pull her closer to me laughing along with her. I start to tickle her knowing how much she hates it, but I love it when she laughs. It’s cliché thing to say; but hers is adorable. “Harry! Stop!” she continues to laugh. That is until we both end up rolling off the bed, and she hits me in the groin. Colleen’s mum immediately rushing in.

“Are you two okay?! What happened?!”

“Harry started tickling me,” she replies rubbing her head.

“What about him?”

“I accidentally hit him when he was tickling me…”

“Accidentally?” her mum looks at us sternly.

“It was an accident this time!” Colleen laughs, “Ow,” she grabs her head again. The two of us go downstairs to get ice for our new injuries.

“What did you mean by it was an accident this time?”

“I’ve hit guys in the balls before,” she answers right away.


“My ex was an asshole… My parents weren’t mad at me… Just a little disappointed…”

“Do I even want to know why you hit him?”

“You can probably figure that one out yourself…”

“I’m not going to think too much into that one…” Colleen and I go back upstairs to watch Family Guy, and she’s trying so hard not to laugh since it hurts. I feel her pain.

The next few days go a lot better than I thought. Colleen’s dad has finally warmed up to me; and I don’t think her mum ever had a doubt about me. I kind of wish I could stay here longer. She takes me through her town; keeping me as hidden as possible. Even church; and we both knew that was a dangerous chance to take. Her mom played that weekend, so we at least got to hide in the balcony where the choirs play. Her mum has a lovely voice, but I can tell she got half of her dad’s. So the two of them are unfortunately tone-deaf. Him more so than her. All she needs is to be taught.


The guys, Nicole and I are all playing a card game when we hear a small scream come from further up the plane. I bolt out of my seat towards Colleen. She’s tossing and turning like crazy; another night-terror. She hasn’t had one like this since the night she told me everything.

“Harry, wake her!” Nicole yells running towards her.

Liam grabs her by the waist, “No!”

She starts to cry, “Why not?! Can’t you see she’s in pain?”

I cry, “Because you can’t wake anyone from a night-terror, or they could hurt you or themselves.” I struggle to keep my hand from her. “Hers usually don’t last that long…” Colleen sits up and continues to scream.

“What’s going on back there?” the captain asks over the intercom.

“I’ll go talk to him,” Louis says on the verge of tears.

I stare at Colleen fighting back more tears. I’ve never seen one this bad. “Please wake up,” I whisper. Five minutes pass before she falls back into the bed with her breath and heartbeat evening out.

“Here,” Zayn says handing me a wet and dry towel. I wipe the sweat from Colleen’s face and arms hoping she’ll wake up soon. Zayn, Niall, Liam and Nicole go back to the kitchenette while Louis stays with me. Louis holds the wet towel on Colleen’s forehead trying to get her temperature back down. He doesn’t say anything; he just stares at Colleen with tears in his eyes.

“What did you tell the captain?” I finally ask.

“That she was just having a nightmare. What else could I say?” I shrug my shoulders. Louis begins to stroke her face as her breathing finally becomes normal again. “Harry, what are we going to do?”

"What do you mean?"

"I can’t stand to see her suffer this much."

"I should have told you sooner-"

"Told me what?"

"That a psychiatrist is meeting us at the hotel…" I take Colleen’s hand in mine. "She knows. We talked about it while we were still on vacation. I know she doesn’t really want to do it," I ramble. "But she said she do it for us. For me."

"Do the others know?"

"Only Liam… He’s the one who suggested it… The others probably know now since they’re probably listening in on us."

"Yea, we are!" Niall shouts.

"Told ya," I laugh lightly. We continue to talk sitting in front of Colleen’s bed until the captain tells us we have to get back in our seats. "Colleen," I whisper next to her ear. "Baby girl, you have to get up."

"Mmmm," she groans.

I laugh, “Come on, Love.”

Her eyes flutter, “What’s going on?”

"We’re about to land; you have to get in your seat." I help her out of the bed making sure she doesn’t fall. I hold onto her hand as the plane starts to descend. She stares out the window down at the crowd forming around the airport.

"Here we go again," she says as we are escorted off the plane. Our busses are waiting for us on the runway that way we don’t have to deal with the crowd. Yet. It’s going to be hell when we get to the hotel since we’re here in LA for a few days. Louis demanded that he gets the bus with me since Colleen will be on it. Liam, Nicole, Niall and Zayn get the other bus, and I hope to God Liam and Nicole behave for Niall and Zayn’s sake.

This is it. This is when the craziness all begins. “Are you ready for this?”

"No," she whispers. I pull her closer to me reassuring her it’s going to be okay. Her grip tightens even more than I thought possible as we exit the buses. Paul has more security on the girls than usual while the five of us hold onto them as tightly as possible. We finally make it to our rooms, and Colleen immediately buries herself under the bed. I hear quiet, "I can’t do this," coming from her.

I sit on the edge of the bed rubbing her back, “Yes, you can, Love. You’re the strongest girl I know. And you have all of us here to help.”

"Not everyone," she grumbles.

"You know they would be here if they could be," I say sternly.

Colleen is still under the covers muttering to herself when there’s a knock on the door. I look the peephole to see Paul and an older woman standing behind him. I open the door. “This is Dr. Holly Dawson.”

"Nice to meet you," I hold out my hand for her to shake.

"You must be Harry," she smiles.

"Come in." Paul leaves once he hears the door click. I close every lock for extra security.

"Why lock them all?"

"She needs it."

"Where is she?"

"In the bedroom still buried under all the sheets."

"How long has she been under them?"

"Since we got here. I think she started panicking."

"Should I wait out here?"

"Sure," I smile, "Make yourself comfortable."

I walk back down the hallway to the bedroom. “Colleen,” I sing walking over to her.

"Go away." Crap. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like this.

"Colleen, Dr. Dawson is here to see you." I slowly pull back the covers.

"Nooo," she whines trying to take them back.

"Hey," I say softly kneeling down, "You said you would do this." I stroke her face.

"Fine." She gets out of bed then fixes her hair before walking into the living room.

"Hello Colleen, I’m Dr. Dawson, but you can call me Holly," she smiles at Colleen. "So can you Mr. Styles," she looks at me. Colleen and I take a seat on the couch across from Holly who is sitting in the arm chair. "Now. I know you told me a few small details as to why I’m here, but why don’t we start from the beginning, Colleen?" Colleen inhales deeply shaking a little as she curls up next to me. "Okay, how about this; we can just talk. Get to know each other a little."

"Okay," she whispers.

"Where are you from? I’m assuming America since you clearly don’t have any distinct accent," she laughs.

"Pennsylvania," Colleen answers quietly.

"Funny. So am I." It turns out the two of them are from towns right next to one another. Who would have thought one of the best psychiatrists in the world would be from my girlfriend’s home. "What do you like to do?"

"I used to cheer."

"How long did you cheer for?"

"Six years." They continue to talk about their lives, and they include mine to make everything more relaxed. Now it’s time for Colleen to tell her story, "Well, it started three years ago…" Colleen calmly starts her story; the one she definitely seems tired of sharing. Holly takes continuous notes as Colleen keeps talking. By the time she gets to this year she begins to cry. I pull her tighter into me as she grabs onto my shirt; wrinkling it.

“You don’t have to continue,” Holly whispers. I put my hand over Colleen’s hair stroking it. It seems like a lot for Holly to take in. She told us that she has worked on cases like this; some even worse. As a psychiatrist Holly has no reaction except, “Why bring her on this tour if she’s this stressed?”

I hold onto Colleen as if I’m afraid to lose her, “Because I couldn’t live with myself if anything else happens to her.” She nods her head writing down more notes.

“This is just a general question,” Holly says, “How would the two of you feel about putting her on medications? Prescriptions that will help her sleep better, keep her anxiety down, and something to prevent her from cutting again.”

“I haven’t cut in about a month,” Colleen says into my chest.

“It will just be an extra one that will calm you more if you feel the need to harm yourself.”

“What would the medications be?”

“Lamictal for anxiety, Ativan for when she gets tempted to cut, and a simple medication for sleeping. Unfortunately as far as the night-terrors and nightmares go the best you can do is just comfort her, Harry.”

“I-” Colleen hiccups, “I want to talk to my mom and dad about it first.”

“They know?” asks Holly.

“Harry told them…” she tries to pull herself closer to me. It wasn’t easy for me to tell them, but they had to know. Of course they couldn’t run over here to save her, and they’re a bit furious that I couldn’t either.

The session is over and Colleen is now on the phone with her parents, “Dad! I’m getting help! You of all people should understand these medications!” Her dad’s a neurologist. “She said it’s a mood stabilizer…” Colleen says quietly. I hear a deep sigh. “Then I’ll have them monitor me…” They argue for a little longer when Colleen throws her phone across the room. Luckily it only the back and battery fall out. Droids.

I stare at her as she glares at the wall. “Well?” I ask quietly.

“He said okay. Angrily. As long as I’m monitored.” Colleen crosses her arms.

Something that's cute & realistic bc I feel as if so many people live off of fantasy world and let's face it, dates or even sex, doesn't happen as clean cut and perfect like that. There's messes and condums and grossness man

Did Jesus send this