Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Five

A/N: It’s an exciting chapter, everyone ;)

*Harry’s P.O.V.*

Through the drive I hold onto Colleen wondering what could possibly be in the bag. I have a good idea though. After we board the plane Colleen asks, “Where are we going, Harry?”

I figure I should tell her before the flight attendants say it. I laugh, “We are headed to Greece. The Mystique Resort Santorini.”

“I’ve never heard of that.”

“Then you’re in for a great time,” I smile kissing the back of her hand. The flight from JFK to Santorini feels like an entire day; that’s why I wanted to leave right after the reception. Colleen and I fall asleep around the same time; our fingers intertwined.

I wake up to the sound of the flight attendant saying, “Attention ladies and gentlemen we are reaching our destination; the plain will be landing in about twenty minutes. Please return your seats to the upright position and fasten your seatbelts.” I gently wake Colleen telling her we’re almost here.

It’s now near three am here, and since we’re going to be jet lagged for a while, I booked us a two week trip, and when we’re done here we’ll be heading back to London. A car is waiting for us once we exit the plane, and even though Colleen is tired I can tell how excited she is. She becomes even more tired after the drive. I hold her up as we walk into the hotel, “Styles,” I tell the front desk.

“Yes, here we are. A Spiritual suit; two keys for the room and one for the minibar.”

“Thank you,” I smile. “Can you make it to the room, Love?” I ask Colleen.

“I’ll try,” she smiles. The room is amazing. “It’s so beautiful here,” Colleen whispers.

“Still not as beautiful as you.”

“Still a cliché.” As usual, no matter how tired she is, Collen heads to the terrace, and she is taken aback. “Gosh, this is gorgeous.”

I wrap my arms around her from behind kissing the top of her head. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“Mmk,” she hums.

I pull back the sheets before the two of us hop into the bed. I pull Colleen into me taking in the familiar scent of her body, “Goodnight, Mrs. Styles.”

“That’s going to take some time getting used to,” she giggles. “Goodnight, Mr. Styles.” I kiss the back of her head before falling into a deep sleep.

After we wake up we head to the Charisma Restaurant that is hosted by the hotel. Then we head out to the Archaeological Museum located in the center of Fira. The museum gives you an idea of different eras of development of the island. It’s a beautiful collection of red and black vases from 5 B.C. The museum has many items, products, Minoan impressives, murals and sculpture of the Hellenistic period. Byzantine works of art and even some remains of prehistoric times. These items have survived the era of Geometric and Hellenistic periods.

Colleen’s eyes light up just like they did when we toured the castles of England and Cathedrals of Germany. I take her hand in mine then smile at her when she looks at me. “You always know how to impress a girl.”

“Anything for you, Love,” I kiss her. “Come on, there’s a tour I want to go on.” We’re guided throughout the museum learning different things. Pure joy emits off of Colleen. I remember the way she used to tell me about her art projects from high school and college. She wasn’t a serious artist, but her work is amazing; many paintings of dogs hang in her dog kennel. Pit Bulls, Cocker Spaniels, Pugs. Pit Bulls. Mostly Pit Bulls. She’s like a child when it comes to art.

Our next stop is the Mnemossyne Artist House In Oia, Greece. It’s a house where you can find a unique variety of fine art, photography and jewelry. Most of the pieces in here are handmade by local artists. The gallery has a harmonic atmosphere in an elegant cave house located a few steps before the famous sunset spot in Oia. So naturally we watch the sunset off the coast of the island of Greece.

We leisurely make our way back to the hotel; her hand on my leg as her thumb lazily runs over the jeans that cover my leg with just enough pressure to relax me. Once back to the hotel I carry Colleen piggyback to our room. She messing with my arms as we get closer; making it difficult to open the door. “Hey, hey!” I laugh. Another giggle escapes her lips. “Come on, come on now, do you want to get into the room or not?”

“Yea,” she laughs. She hops down from my back. “Come and get me,” she winks before running through the room.

“Oh, so we’re playing now, are we?” She laughs again. I get her cornered in the bedroom. “Gotcha,” I smile taking her lips in mine. Her hands wrap around my neck and her legs around my waist. I stumble backwards to the bed falling with her landing on top of me. “So, what do you think so far, Mrs. Styles?”

“It’s wonderful.” We make out more with our hands roaming each others body. This is the night we planned for. The night I have honestly been waiting for. I slide my hands to the front of her shorts slowly unbuttoning them. And there’s no hesitation in my actions. She unbuttons my top in a slow gesture. It’s almost as everything is in slow motion; lips moving perfectly in synchronization.

I’m confused as she slides off of me and begins to strip; something I never thought she would do. I take her waist in my hands, and pull her in between my legs once she’s fully naked. I first place my lips on her neck since that’s her favorite place to be kissed. I lower them to her chest then her stomach. I slowly run my nose between her perfect breast sending chills down her body. I found that she’s not very found of her nipples being sucked, so instead I leave a hickey at the top of her left breast. Once my mark is left I say, “You’re so beautiful, Colleen.” She finishes ridding me of my shirt by pushing it off of my shoulders. Once our clothing is gone she hops back onto the bed in a playful manner. I pull us under the covers, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Colleen smiles. I roll a condom on then pull out the bottle of lubricant. “What’s that for?”

“You may write about sex, but you seemed to have forgotten that you’re still a virgin. We might need this.”

“Oh,” she laughs.

I squeeze the lube into my hand then rub it over my cock. “You ready?” I ask when I’m done, and she nods. “Tell me to stop if it hurts, okay?”

“Okay,” she smiles.

I stare into her eyes as I enter her; feeling she’s a little tight. Colleen digs her nails into my shoulders. Her hair cascades over the pillow, and she looks absolutely amazing laying under me like this. Her face tenses up, so I stop and wait a couple minutes. I go in further, “It’ll be okay, Love,” I reassure her kissing her cheeks. I take her lips in mine as I fill her up more.

“O-okay,” she breathes against my lips. I gently roll my hips into hers keeping myself propped on my elbows by her head. I place my face in the crook of her neck; biting and sucking at it. The room begins to be filled with moans as she gets used to the feeling.

“Co- Oh fuck, Colleen,” I breathe into her neck.

“H-Harry,” she moans. I press my lips to hers; swiping my tongue against her bottom lip. She parts like usual and allows me to slip my tongue inside her mouth. She fights for dominance as I expected her to. I smile into the kiss as I continue to rock my hips against hers.

I remove my mouth from hers trailing kisses from her jaw to her neck. I kiss her skin slowly before I begin to suck on her neck once more. Another moans leaves her mouth; a low, “Fuck.” I laugh knowing she doesn’t swear that much. I begin to grunt as I pick up the pace a little bit more. I lower my head between her breast then suck at the skin atop of her left one again earning another moan. I love seeing her like this.

I can feel myself getting closer to my orgasm. “Give… Give me a few more… Few more… Minutes,” she gasps. “Ah, fuck,” she swears again. I place my hand in-between us, and push my fingers against her clit since I can’t last much longer. Colleen’s hands slide to my biceps; digging her nails into the skin there. She starts to tighten around me; closing her eyes, “Open your eyes. I want to stare into them when you orgasm, Love.” She opens her eyes right before we both finally orgasming. At the same time. I slow down my thrust as we come down from our highs. I stare into her eyes smiling; never feeling any better. She takes my lips into hers before I pull out.

I discard the condom as we catch our breaths. Once back on the bed I pull her into my arms, and she places her head on my chest; drawing random shapes on my stomach. I mindlessly run my thumbs over her arms. I look at my arms to see what the damage report is. “Fuck, Colleen, your nails are sharp,” I laugh. “The guys aren’t going to let me live this one down.”

Colleen giggles against my chest, “Sorry.” I don’t have to see her face to know she’s blushing.

“Nothing to be sorry about, Love.” I squeeze her to me. I hear the familiar deep sigh come from her lips knowing she’s about to fall asleep. “Goodnight, Love.”

“Goodnight, Harry,” she mumbles. I can’t believe I finally got to do this with her. Something I have been waiting to do for the longest time. The covers fell as we made love, and I haven’t pulled them back up. I just stare at her naked body; it’s everything I imagined and more. It’s actually the first time I’ve seen her fully naked; no bra on. After another hour of admiring her body and continuously replaying our first time, I finally begin to fall asleep.

The next morning I wake up with empty arms hearing the shower running. I slowly get out of the bed to make my way to the bathroom. Colleen is humming lowly when I enter the bathroom. She smiles at me as I enter the shower with her. We don’t make anything sexual about this; just my arms wrapped around her making out here and there.

Today we decide to relax by the pool. There aren’t many people sharing the pool with us, so Colleen immediately gets in. Like always, she is wearing one of her superhero bikinis; this time Supergirl. It’s not a very big pool, but it is nice. We swim around trying not to disturb the other guest. Giggles occasionally escape her lips while we joke around.

It’s our final night here in Santorini, so we share the shower once more. She’s not sore anymore, and she said she wants to go again since it is our honeymoon. I peck her lips a few times and graze my nose against hers. My hands touch almost every inch of her body; never getting enough of it. I leave my hands on her waist; rubbing my thumbs over her pelvic bones, and she giggles. I stare into her eyes as I move my hand in-between her legs. She wiggles a bit at my touch; a smile spreading across her lips.

I slowly move my fingers against her heat; applying a bit more pressure each time I reach her clit. I love the sound of her moans, “Ah.” I push one finger in her since she’s still tight. I can tell it’s not as much pain as it was only over a week ago. I add another finger to stretch her out more.

“You ready?” I ask searching her eyes for a no.

“I am,” she smiles.

I pull my fingers from her; licking them clean like always. I step closer to her so our bodies are pressed tightly against one another. I line myself up at her entrance then slowly push in. Colleen groans. I wait until she tells me I can move. I thrust slow and deep into her; wanting to feel every bit of her. She connects our lips when I place my hands on either side of her head. “Jump,” I say. She listens wrapping her legs around my waist; and I put one hand under her bum to hold her up. This makes it easier for me to thrust into her.

“Faster,” she breaths. I obey. I love that we can finally do this. Whether our love is known through words or physical attraction, this is what it’s all about. It’s more exhilarating this time. Colleen pulls our lips apart then places them on my neck; kissing her way to my collarbone. She lightly bites into it before sucking at the skin.

“You really don’t want me to live this down,” I laugh.

“Sorry,” she laughs pulling away from my skin.

It takes her a longer time to orgasm again, so I push on her clit once again. She groans against my chest as our highs hit. After pulling out she releases her legs from my waist. Except, she can’t hold herself up. I hold her as I wash away the smell of sex laughing; placing loving kisses against her lips. She stares back into my eyes as I rest my forehead against hers.

“Can you walk?”

“I’ll try,” she laughs. I let go of her, but she still stumbles. Colleen sits down on the shower seat while I grab our towels. I wrap one around my waist after drying myself off then wrap one around her body before carrying her to the bed.

“How do you feel?”


“It’ll go away. Eventually.”

“Ha, ha.”

I go to grab her pjs when I stumble across the bag I asked her about when we left for the airport. “What’s this?” I turn to her.

“Oh my gosh, I completely forgot about that,” she chuckles.

I open the bag to see what’s inside and pull out a black polka dot lingerie set. “You forgot about this?” I ask a little shocked.

“I guess I got caught up in the fun.”

“Will you wear it?”

“For you?” I nod my head. “Of course.” She stands up from the bed taking the clothing from my hands. She drops her towel from her body then slips into her new set.

“You look so sexy in that,” I pull her towards me by her waist. “When did you get this?”

“The girls gave it to me at the reception.”

“I can’t believe you forgot about this. I love it when you wear lingerie.”

“I know you do.” I kiss her pulling her as tight as possible against me. After putting on a pair of my briefs we get into bed; enjoying our last night together. Alone.

Toned, tanned, tattooed

"My sweet little baby…" Harry cooed, rubbing his thumb pad over my flushed cheek. I smiled and leant my head towards his hand.

"My pretty little princes…" He patted my nose with his fingertip. I felt tired, and tipsy, although I had a pint of beer and one glass of wine. Harry was tipsy too, I think, only having the same amount to drink as me. We weren’t 100% sure what we were doing at the moment, but we went along with it. But tiredness wasn’t getting the better of me. Harry still promised that I was in charge this time. It had been five minutes and his cock was hard. I was wet too, but the only contact we made, apart from Harry rubbing my cheeks and what not, was the odd accidental brush of his dick between my folds.

I sat up slightly, alarming Harry. He opened his eyes a little wider and watched me as I sank down onto his member. We both let out a long breath, until he was fully inside me. When I was comfortable, I slowly slid up and down at a delicate pace.

"Fuck, you’re so good at this, (Y/N)" Harry admired while I gently bounced. I crawled my hands up his toned, tanned, tattooed body and rested them on his pecs. I started to grind and roll my hips onto him, making him quietly groan with pleasure. His moans were never loud moans. They where always muffled and quiet. To be honest, that’s my fault. I don’t think I’ve ever been that good to make him moan loudly. He doesn’t complain, though. I don’t think he’s had better.

I got faster, taking my hips down fast and curving them as I took him out of me. My butt cheeks slapped hard together as I bobbed up and down, touching his balls.

His eyes were squeezed tightly shut, his hands taking a fist full of covers and pulling harshly. I had never seen him act like this, and frankly, it was the hottest thing ever. Never did I think that I, me could make THEE Harry Styles fall apart in front of me, let alone think that THEE Harry Styles would bump into me at TCA’s and ask me for my number. Did I fuck think we’d fall in love and get this far!

With every down thrust, his length would hit my G spot, making me scream ‘Harry’ louder than the last. The slight alcohol buzz took over my ways of working and made me slam down every thrust. I had also never acted this way before. The speed I was going was faster that I had ever done. Nothing compared to Harry’s, though.

My actions weren’t just pleasuring for me, as I watched Harry through blurred, watery eyes. His bottom lip was taken between his teeth. His jaw was tightly clenched, proving how much pressure his teeth where putting on his plump lip. He was biting so hard, he drew blood from his own lip. Concern took over me as I slowed down.

"D-do you want me to stop?" His eyes flew open and his hands gripped my thighs, digging his sharp nails into my skin and now, drawing my blood. I winced and felt slightly scared. Looking into his eyes, I recognized that look. Anger.

He started thrusting harder than ever before. I honestly was so dazed and dizzy, I could barely breath let alone speak. I was lost for words and moans as he basically started pile driving me. The pleasure was so unexplainable. To say there was a knot in my stomach, was a understatement.

I was basically screaming buy the time I reached my high. It lasted for a good few seconds. I was totally oblivious to anything happening around me. When I opened my eyes, Harry was riding out his orgasm underneath me. As his orgasm died down, I got off him and collapsed beside him, a total mess from what just happened. He bent his elbow and put his hand in between our heads on the pillow. I repeated his action. We held hands and turned to face each other.

"I love you." He slurred out.

"I love you too, baby."

I’m a new one direction, the vamps and 5sos smut blog! Check me out and follow if you want :) x

- calumharrybrad

Long way home.

Cheeky little Liam oneshot because I was bored. Enjoy!

I didn’t know what was going on with me, but I couldn’t stop looking at him. I couldn’t stop looking at the way his hands gripped the steering wheel. I let my eyes travel up his arms, admiring the muscles that were revealed by his tank top.

"Liam, how much longer until we’re home?" I asked, shifting a bit in my seat to face him more. "About half an hour" he murmured, his eyes never leaving the road. I sighed, sitting back against my seat.

"I thought you liked taking the long way home?" He questioned, glancing at me quickly. "I usually do" I murmured, trying to keep from staring at him and becoming even more turned on.

"Why don’t you like it tonight?" He asked. I bit my lip, trying to think of a way to tell him without blurting that I was horny.

I glanced at him again as an idea popped into my head. An idea that I never thought I’d do, but in this moment it seemed so inviting.

I reach my hand out and laid it on his thigh, sliding it up and down slowly. “What are you doing, love?” He asked, his grip on the wheel tightening a bit.

I smiled, squeezing his thigh softly before moving my hand to the button of his jeans, “Just go with it, babe”

I popped open the button and pulled down the zipper before slipping my hand into his jeans.

His mouth opened a bit as my hand rubbed over his cock through his boxers. “(Y/N)…” he groaned, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. I smirked, loving the hold I had on him at the moment.

"Does that feel good?" I teased, squeezing his cock a bit harder and moving my hand a little faster. I smiled, feeling him becoming completely hard beneath my hand.

"Babe" he moaned, his jaw clenching. I bit my lip, slipping my hand into his boxers and gripping his length. He let out another moan when my thumb slid over the tip.

I pumped my hand over his cock, earning a low sigh from him. “You’re so fucking bad” he growled, his hands clutching the wheel tighter. I smirked, “But I’ll make you feel so good”

He chuckled but the sound was cut short by a moan. I pumped him in my hand faster, making sure to swipe my thumb over his sensitive tip.

I knew Liam’s tells, so I knew he was getting close. I watched as his jaw clenched and he gripped the wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"Are you gonna cum, baby?" I cooed, moving my hand a bit faster and adding more pressure.

His body tensed for a moment as he fought to keep his eyes on the road. “Fuck” he finally growled, his hips jerking a bit as he came. “Fuck me…” he moaned, his body relaxing back into his seat.

I smiled and removed my hand from his jeans, “I’d love to fuck you” He licked his lips, a smirk growing on his face as he put a little more pressure on the gas pedal, “You just wait, baby girl”



Every part of me wanted her. Needed her.

But I knew it was wrong.

She drank. She never drinks and I know it was because of me. If I wasn’t such a fuck up. If I didn’t go around saying things that I didn’t mean. If I knew what to do with my feelings, how to work with them correctly, then she’d be fine. We’d be fine. This would all be fine.

“Harry,” she breathes into my ear, pushing her lower body upwards, desperate for any type of touch. I have no control. Her hips grinding up, her center pressing into me strained against my black jeans makes my mind momentarily blank out.

“Please,” she begs when I still, her fingers pressing into the bottom of my back to push me against her again.

“Baby,” I breathe, unable to control the pleasure of her grinding into me. My anxious hands search to the hem of her shirt. I bunch it up, letting the tips of my fingers graze along her stomach. Up the center then along her sides, letting my senses revel in the feeling of her warm skin underneath me. “We can’t do this,” I breathe into her neck, resting my lips on the spot just underneath her ear. “You’re drunk,” I take the skin between my teeth as she turns to allow me better access, nipping then gliding my tongue along it.

I repeat the process, knowing how much she likes it as her hands roam along my arms, squeezing at the tops. Her moans are enough to make me grow harder in my pants and I’m desperate for relief from the tension.

She grinds her hips into mine again and I nearly lose it that time, burying my head into her neck and clenching my jaw to get a grip of myself. It’s been so long. Any type of contact now is quick to send me through the roof.

“Please Harry,” she whimpers. God do I want her more than anything. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted. The only one who would ever put up with my shit. My selfish attitude, my arrogant ways.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“You’re not,” she whines, growing more impatient by the second. “I want you to.”

I know when she wakes she’ll regret this. When she finds me sleeping next to her in the morning, tightly holding onto her waist, we’ll probably go back to how it was before. Her being mad at me because I’m an asshole.

But I don’t care. She needs me just as much as I need her and I’m selfish enough to take this opportunity.

I crash my lips into hers, taking her by surprise as she gasps into my mouth. My tongue swipes along her full bottom lip before she allows me access in.

Her hands roam into my hair, fingers tugging at the roots just like she knows I love.

My tongue maneuvers with hers, taking full on control just like I know she loves.

“Harry,” she moans my name when I move to her jawline, planting slow kisses along it and then to her neck. My fingers play underneath her shirt, gliding along her bare skin.

“Off,” I demand. She lifts, allowing me to pull her shirt up and over her body, tossing it along the side. I do the same with mine before directing my whole attention back to just her. The feeling of her warm body against mine. How her hips curve just the right amount for my hands to fit over them. The contrast of my inked chest against her flawless skin.

“You’re so beautiful (y/n),” I kiss up her stomach. “Don’t you know that?”

Her breathing is erratic and I’ve barely touched her yet. I love how much of an effect I have on her.

I move back up to her lips, enveloping mine around hers. “What do you want?”

“You,” she gasps into the kiss. I grin, feeling satisfied at her simple words. Her desire for me never ceases to amaze me. Never has somebody wanted me so much. And never have I yearned for someone so much the same way.

My lips never disconnect from hers as one of my hands holds me up, the other trailing down the center of her torso, near the waistband of her long skirt, and then back up to her bra.

“I love you so much,” I breathe into her mouth as my hand navigates around her. My fingertips drum on her side and she takes the hint without either of us speaking a word. Arching her back from the bed, I reach around to unclasp her bra, pulling it down both of her arms.

If she weren’t influenced by alcohol, her cheeks would be flushed right now, feeling flustered by being so exposed even though I’ve seen every part of her body many times. Instead, I find myself flustered as my dick continues to strain against my tight jeans when I take in the sight of her bare chest in front of me.

She makes no hesitation in continuing with where we were at, reaching down to the button of my jeans.

“Baby,” I grab both of her hands before she can yank my pants off. “For you,” I remind her. “Not me.”

Fuck do I want to be in her right now but we can’t. I don’t know when I’ll have this opportunity again so I have to make it last.

With her hands in mine, I bring them to my shoulders, before letting go and moving back to her stomach. I kiss up her core, licking my lips every so often to make sure she feels my presence on her. I kiss under her breast, my hand tending to the other, as my mouth works on it. My teeth playfully tugging on her nipple, my tongue relieving the tension as I press it flat against her. I switch to the other, giving it the same attention as the last. The room fills with (y/n)’s moans, fulfilling me with the greatest satisfaction.

I move down her torso once again, my lips greedily nipping at the skin as I make my way to her core. I’m greeted with the waistband of her long black skirt when I peer up to see her hooded stare on me.

“Please,” she breathlessly begs when I move up to her mouth.

“Please what?” I take her bottom lip between both of mine.

“Touch me.”

I waste no time bringing my hands to her sides to pull down her skirt, assisting her in kicking it off when it wraps around her ankles. She urges me to take my jeans off even though I repeat to her that I only want to satisfy her and not myself.

“I need you too,” she assures to rid herself of guilt. Her hand reaches between us, her palm pressing into the front of my jeans. The small touch has me weak like she always makes me. I unbutton my jeans, stepping off the bed momentarily to yank them down. She smiles, a satisfied drunken smile as I step out of them, crawling back over her on the bed.

“I don’t think I have any control when it comes to you,” I refer to her state of self-satisfaction in me listening to her demand.  She laughs before I veer to more seriousness. “I love you.” She frowns.

“Shh,” she presses her lips into mine to mute anymore conversation. I let her win, not wanting to oppress her anymore.

I adjust my positon, my knee urging her legs to spread. Her hands roam all over me, eagerness taking over her body as she waits for me to continue. I want to make this last for as long as I can but I can barely control myself as she begins to grind her hips again.

“I’m gonna come if you keep doing that,” I breathe into her mouth. I halt her movements, my hands finally landing on the spot she’s been begging for me to touch.

“You’re soaked baby,” my fingers rub against her thin underwear, dampness welcomed on my fingerstips. She shivers underneath me. “How many times have you done this to yourself?”

She doesn’t answer and instead only focuses on the way I’m making her feel, my fingers pushing her underwear to the side. “How many?” I press her again. I need to know.

“How many what?” She breathlessly asks when I make contact with her bare skin, stroking between her folds.

“How many times have you touched yourself? Since we were last together,” I add.

“None.” She’s lying.

“Don’t lie to me.” I halt my movements.

“Fine, three. Three time,” she whines. I accept her answer and move my fingers in drawn out circular patterns along her clit.

“Did you miss me?” Her eyes are closed as she focuses on the feeling. My lips ghost over hers, barely brushing against them as I greedily capture her moans into my mouth. “My touch?” I move to suck on her neck, collecting her wetness on my fingers as I touch her. My index finger pushes into her first, followed by my middle. She’s so warm and fuck, still tight. I need to be in her or I might just pass out.

But I can’t. I have to have control. Some sort of self-control.

I use my words. “No one can touch you the way I do,” I adjust my body position, propping myself over her better to circle my fingers inside of her. “No one knows you the way I do,” her head rolls to the side as she indulges in the pleasure. “No one knows your spots,” I rub her clit as my fingers move at a faster pace, her hips beginning to buck. “No one but me,” I whisper into her ear as she begins to tighten around me, my fingers strained in the tight enclosement as I bring her near her finish.

“Harry,” she whimpers. I lock on her every movement as she unravels beneath me, my last few touches inside of her working her body. The way her eyes screw shut. The way she takes her bottom lip between her teeth before I beg her to let it out. The way she listens to me and relaxes, letting the moans escape from her lips to echo through the room. The way her walls clench so tight around me, I can barely move my hand, before releasing and expanding. The way her body sinks into the bed, feeling the upmost relaxation. The way her neck and chest always flush red after her orgasm. The way she tastes as I bring my fingers to my mouth. The right mix of sweet and saltiness that go from my lips to hers after I kiss her. The way she smiles, her lazy tired smile as she giggles at what just happened. The way she looks at me, tugging on my hair to pull me down to her lips for one last kiss before nuzzling into my chest. The way she quickly falls asleep, latching her arms around me as if she doesn’t want me to ever leave her side. The way she’s everything to me and that no matter what happens from here on out, I will always love and need her.

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Four

*Colleen’s P.O.V.*

I can’t believe the day is finally here. “How are you feeling, Love?” El says looking through the mirror at me.

I sigh smiling at her, “I feel great. I just can’t believe it’s happening in a couple of hour…”

“Knock, knock,” I hear Harry.

“Harry, get out! You’re not supposed to see me today!” I yell.

“I won’t come in. I just want one of the guys to give you something since I know you’re wearing the pearl necklace.”

“How do you know that?”

“It’s me you’re talking to.” We chuckle together.

“Fine, send whoever in.”

Louis walks through the door shoving Harry away and closing the door to make sure I’m not seen. “Jeez, Colleen! Do you not have the decency to put clothing on?!” I’m sitting in my bra and underwear.

El rolls her eyes, “Shut it, Louis, you’ve seen her in a bikini. Just hand over whatever it is you’re supposed to give her.”

He pulls a small box from his leather box from his pocket, “Here,” he smiles.

I gently take the box from his hand then open it. “Oh, Harry!” I say knowing he’s on the other side of the door. He laughs. “They’re beautiful.” There’s a pair of real pearl earrings that match the necklace he was right about. The one that I’m wearing.

Louis takes my hand in his kissing it, “I’ll see you out there, Love,” he smiles.

After Louis leaves the room Andrea enters saying, “So, since it’s traditions to have ‘something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue,’ I want this to be your something borrowed and something blue. She gently places a flower shaped pin with blue diamonds as the flower. “It was Maura’s something old and blue that she gave me for my wedding; and apparently Denise got something similar.” Andrea places her hands on my shoulders and whispers, “I’m so proud of you.”

Perrie helps me do my makeup; the only person I’ve ever let do mine. El does my hair just letting it fall behind my back since it’s long enough. She re-pins the flower clip Andrea gave me to gently pull back my bangs.

I stare into the mirror in my Alfred Angelo’s Disney Princess, Belle dress. From the second line of dresses. I took everything from the Belle line. I keep the veil covering my face because my dad will pull it back as a way of passing me on.

Wedding Dress:


Flower Girl:


I stand in the back of the church I grew up in breathing deeply; still not believing this is happening. My dad meets me in the back of the church as I watch Andrea and Niall walk up next followed by Liam and Nicole, and Zayn and Perrie. We pair up Eleanor with Niall’s brother to make sure she is in the wedding party too.  My sister and Louis walk up the aisle last because she’s my matron of honor, and he’s Harry’s best man. Rachel’s daughter is the flower girl. Harry and I are the last to get married out of us all; and it’s perfect. As a Catholic the “Here comes the Bride” song isn’t allowed, so I walk down the aisle with my dad to “The Wedding March.” Everyone stands up to turn back towards me. Harry isn’t paying attention; I can tell he’s nervous because he kisses his cross necklace.

When he does look I can see how taken aback he is. His eyes widen; his mouth agape. I can’t help but to smile and blush seeing how wonderful he looks in his tuxedo. I start to cry tears of joy; the only kind I can manage. I glance at my father, and see him trying to hold back tears. I get to the altar and hand my bouquet of red roses to my sister then turn back to my dad as he lifts my veil.

“I love you, Colleen,” he kisses me. “Take good care of her, Harry,” he adds sternly.

Harry takes my hand as we turn to the priest. Because it’s a traditional Catholic wedding, with Harry’s agreement, the length of the ceremony is very long; about two hours. Now, it’s finally that time.

He places the ring on my finger, “I, Harry, take you, Colleen, to be my beloved wife, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life.”

Now I do the same; I place the wedding band on his finger. I continue to stare into his eyes happily; not letting go of his large, soft hands, “I, Colleen, take you, Harry, to be my beloved husband, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life.”

“You may now kiss the bride.” Harry takes my lips into his; feeling more passion than ever. We turn to the crowd with everyone clapping. We walk out of the church hand-in-hand smiling as big as possible after everyone else. Bubbles are blown as we make our way to the limo. It immediately takes us to the Hotel Hershey; the place where I’ve always dreamed of having my wedding reception.

I want to eat first, but pictures are taken through The Rose Garden. Many taken by the roses Harry had made for me. An hour later and we go inside to eat. Hopefully. The head table is the wedding party; with our parents and immediate family at the table right next to it.

After we eat it’s time to dance; the boys sing Irresistible taking Harry’s verse as we dance our first dance. This song has meant so much to us through this past year. We dance as we always do around the floor as happy as we can imagine. My dad gets the next song; and we crack up the crowd when the 1960’s Batman TV series theme song plays. Growing up, we always joked this would be our song.

We cut the cake that I’ve always wanted to look like my parent’s wedding cake. Three tiers; two on the bottom, two that come in a bit and are connected by stairs that hold figurines of the wedding party, a middle tier at the same level to help hold the top and final tear which is lead up with stairs with Harry and myself on the top.

Andrea, Eleanor, Perrie and Nicole come over to Harry and me, “Can we borrow her?” they giggle.

“Sure, just don’t be too long,” Harry laughs in reply.

“Girls, what’s going on?” I ask once we’re away from everyone else.

“Last minute girl time before you head on your honeymoon,” says Eleanor.

“We just want to give you something for the trip,” Nicole wiggles her eyebrows. “It’s from all of us.” Andrea hands me a bag.

I don’t even have to open it the whole way to see what it is. It’s a black lingerie set with white polka dots. It’s a low heart line cut with thin straps to hold up my breast, that still covers my midriff and panties.

“I hate and love you guys. I guess you want me to use this tonight?” I joke

“Of course! Any idea where he’s taking you?”

“Of course not. It’s a surprise, go figure.”

“Men,” Andrea says shaking her head. “My honeymoon was a surprise too. He even guided me through the airport blindfolded along with his iPod so I couldn’t hear anything. Next thing I know we’re landing in Bali, Indonesia.”

“We knew Niall had it in him.”

“How was it?” Eleanor asks excitedly.

“How was what?” Andrea asks slyly.

“Indonesia of course.”

“I’m not elaborating. You remember what happened last time I ‘kissed and told,’” Andrea winks.

“That’s all you can say about it,” I laugh, “Niall told me that you two hardly left the cabin,” I wink.

“I thought he did. He’s a little shit, that Irishman.”

The night has settled in, and everyone is having a blast. My family loves his and vice versa. It was great that Harry could fly his entire family out here, if not most of them. I told them the story of how he proposed; nearly shocking me to death. Everyone dances together. I love wedding receptions because everyone just lets loose not caring how they dance; whether they’re drunk or not. We line dance to old and new ones; Macarena, the cha cha slide and so on.

It’s finally that time where the bride throws the bouquet and the groom throws the garter. I face the DJ as all the women, who are only supposed to be single, take the dance floor. So naturally, my best friends are in the crowd. “Ready?” I laugh, and they all scream. I toss the roses over my hand then quickly turn to see who has caught it. Andrea. Andrea is the one to catch it. I turn to Niall watching his expression change from enjoyment to shock.

Now Harry gets to remove my garter. I sit on a chair that was pulled to the center of the dance floor, and Harry kneels in front of me. A smirk drawn across his face as his fingertips touch my leg. I stare back into his eyes that never break contact. I feel his hand finally reach the garter. His smirk still plays on his face as he drags it off of my leg.

“Who’s ready to catch the garter?” Harry teases without disconnected our eye contact. He stands up as the guys gather behind like the girls did with me. Harry continues to smirk as he tosses my garter. My cousin ends up catching it; another one who is married. I look at his wife who just shrugs it off as a ‘go figure’ gesture. Now my cousin has to put the garter on Andrea until she tells him to stop. I watch Harry from the other side of the dance floor giggling then look at Niall who is still glaring; especially at my cousin.

“Niall, this is what happens at my family’s wedding receptions,” I elbow him.

“But that’s my girl.”

“Yea? And what if El, Per or Nicole caught it? Imagine if it was two of my cousins or two of Harry’s!” I continue to laugh.

“Alright, alright,” his glare breaks to a smile.

The party continues at it’s peak after the whole show. “Good evening, Mrs. Styles,” Harry says as he wraps his arms around me from behind. “One more dance then we’re off,” he kisses my neck. It’s the final slow dance to “So She Dances” by Josh Groban. The dance is over and now Harry and I are off after getting changed for our flight. My mom will hold onto my dress.

While in the limo to the airport Harry says, “I wonder how Andrea and your cousin feel after catching the bouquet and garter,” laughing.

“Niall was angry, but it’s the luck of the catch,” I laugh back. I shuffle with the bag the girls gave me keeping it from falling over.

“What’s that?” Harry asks.

“Something for tonight…”


“You’ll see,” I smirk at him looking at him through the corners of my eyes.

Shower kisses.

I wrote this at 2am because Harry feels. There’s no sex, it’s just cheesy fluff I suppose (:

"Did you ever think that, like a year ago, we’d be dating now?" I asked, reaching past Harry and grabbing my platter of Chinese food.

He smiled, settling down on the couch beside me and pressing play on the movie. “I didn’t think we would, but I always hoped for it”

I smiled at his answer and handed him his food, “I did too”

After we had eaten we laid on the couch, watching the end of the movie. I rested my head against his chest, snuggling closer to him as the ending credits came onto the screen.

"What can we do now?" I asked, sitting up and tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. He shrugged, "Well, we could shower. Because frankly, we both reek of Chinese food"

I nodded, “True. You can go first” He sat up on his elbows, “We can just go together”

I felt my stomach tense at his suggestion. I loved Harry with all my heart, but I just wasn’t ready to go that far. Not yet.

"Harry… I’m not…" I murmured, looking down at my lap. He sat up quickly, "No, no, babe. I didn’t mean that. I know you’re not ready to go there, (Y/N). I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel weird"

He reach out and took my hand, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles, “Just forget about it, okay? Pretend I didn’t even make that stupid suggestion”

I shook my head, “No, Harry, it’s fine. I mean… We can shower, I’m just not ready for sex”

He looked at me, “Babe, you really don’t have to” I shook my head again, “Harry, it’s fine”

I let go of his hand and stood off the couch. “You coming?” I asked, glancing at him over my shoulder as I walked towards his bathroom.

I slipped into the bathroom and turned on his shower. I adjusted the water before turning around to face him. “Are you really sure you want to do this?” He asked, making me smile.

"I’m gonna be naked in front of you sometime… Might as well break the ice" I said, slipping off my sweater.

He nodded and pulled off his shirt, dropping it to the floor and trying not to look at me as I stripped down to nothing and stepped into the shower.

I turned so that my back was to him and let the warm wash down the front of my body. When he stepped into the shower behind me, my stomach fluttered.

"This isn’t awkward, right?" He asked, sounding unsure about the situation. I took a small breath and turned to face him, trying not to be too shy about my body.

"Nope" was all I said, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his lips.

He smiled down and me and reach out, letting his fingers brush some water droplets from my cheek. “You’re so beautiful” be murmured, leaning down a bit and kissing me again softly.

I smiled into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting to be closer to him.

"We don’t have to have sex, but we can kiss a little" I said, making him smile. "I like that idea" he said, connecting our lips again.

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him as our lips moved in sync.

His fingers brushed along my lower back as he whispered sweet nothings between our kisses.

"I love you so much" I said, breaking our kiss and laying my cheek against his chest. He kissed the top of my head, rubbing my back softly, "I love you too, baby"

After a bit we moved onto actually washing ourselves and finally getting out of the shower.

He grabbed a towel and handed it to me. “I’ll get you something to sleep in” he said, wrapping a towel around his waist and heading into his bedroom.

I dried off and waited for him to come back.

He came in with one of his shirts and a pair boxers. I took them from him as he gathered up our dirty laundry and took it to the hamper before dressing himself in some boxers. I dressed quickly and then followed him into his room.

I crawled into his bed and got under the covers, sighing at how soft they felt.

He grabbed the remote from the stand and crawled into bed beside me. “Okay, should we continue where we left off on Friends last time?” He asked, hooking his arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

"Yeah" I said, laying my head on his chest and draping my arm across his stomach as he pressed play on the show and tossed the remote beside him.

I smiled to myself as I laid there in his arms, feeling more at home than I ever had anywhere else.



So, this is loosely based on this request: Can you guys write one where Harry is a music teacher for like 1st graders and Y/N is the kids teacher, then like Y/N turns Harry on and at the end of the day Harry calls Y/N to his room for help with something but ends up banging her” I kinda hit writers block halfway through and had to push through the rest, so I am genuinely sorry if it sucks ass.

"Okay, everybody please stay right behind me and no roaming off" I called out to the small parade of children shuffling down the hall behind me.

"I don’t even like music, why do we have to go to Mr.Styles’ class" one boy said, dragging his feet along.

I smiled and stopped outside of the door to music class,”Because music is cool and you always end up having a good time”

The boy huffed and I opened the door, allowing everyone to file inside.

I stepped in to make sure everyone took their seats without a problem and Mr.Styles spotted me.

"Good morning, Ms.(Y/L/N)" he said, flashing me a smile that was nicely complemented by his dimples.

"Good morning" I relied politely, trying not to stare at him for too long. Which was hard because the guy was absolutely gorgeous.

He leaned back against his desk, getting ready to say something when one of the kids in the front knocked over her cymbal. He took a step forward but I was already heading there.

"I’ve got it" I said, going over and picking it up. I bent down to adjust the legs to be more sturdy. When I stood up and turned, I couldn’t help but notice the small smile on Styles’ face.

"Thank you" he said, gesturing towards the cymbal. I nodded and smoothed out my skirt, "No problem"

I gave the class a quick smile before heading towards the door.

"Ms.(Y/L/N)?" he called out, making me stop. I looked at him, "Yes?" 

"Can I see you later today? After classes are over? I’d like to go over some scheduling things with you" he said, crossing his arms and looking at me.

I nodded, “Yes, of course. I’ll come by later” He smiled, “Thank you”

I gave him a quick nod and left the room.

I spent the rest of my day doing my usual duties as a teacher. Making sure everyone had their homework, breaking up little classroom arguments, and making sure that everyone got the help and attention that they needed.

By the time the end of the school day rolled around, I was exhausted. I wanted to see what Styles’ needed and then just go home.

I grabbed my purse from my desk and headed down the hall to his classroom. I tapped on the door lightly before peaking in.

He looked up at me from behind his desk. “Oh, come in” he said, sitting his pen down next to a little stack of papers.

I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me. “I came to see what you needed to talk to me about” I said, walking over and sitting my purse on his desk.

He smiled, running a hand through his hair, “Yes. The scheduling” he stood up and grabbed a sheet of paper, coming around the desk and handing it to me.

I looked it over, “These are the changes for after summer break?” He nodded, “Yes. A lot of things got shifted around, but our classes are still pretty much back to back”

I handed him back the sheet of paper, “Okay… I have a question” He gave me a nod, “Yes?”

"Couldn’t you have given me this earlier and I could have returned it tomorrow?" I asked. He smiled, "I could have… But I’d have to had waited until then to see you again"

I looked at him, “What?” He smiled, sitting the paper on his desk, “I wanted to see you, (Y/N)”

I felt a small blush reach my cheeks, “Oh” He stepped forward, “We’ve never really gotten to be around each other without all the kids around”

I nodded, “Why would we need to be?” He bit his lip, his eyes sliding down my body, “Let’s not do this”

I lifted an eyebrow at him, “Excuse me? Do what, Mr.Styles?”

He smirked, “C’mon, (Y/N). You come in here every single morning with your tight skirts and those heels that make your legs look incredible. And I always catch you staring at me much longer than needed”

I felt my cheeks heat up, “I do not stare at you!” He giggled, making me blush even harder. “You do” he simply said, coming over to me and letting his fingers brush down my arm.

"And even if I do, which I certainly do not… What are you getting at?" I asked, trying to keep my voice firm.

He smirked, “Schools over, almost all the teachers are gone, and it’s just you and I in this room. What do you think I’m getting at?”

I tilted my head to the side, letting my eyes lock with his for a moment, “Definitely not scheduling”

He laughed, reaching out and letting his hand land on my waist, “You haven’t left yet, so I know you know what I mean, and I think you’re into it”

I nodded, “I obviously do… But, no offense, I hardly think you’re the man to please me”

He scoffed, walking around me and locking the door to the room, “Is that so?” I turned to face him, “Did it sound like a joke?”

He nodded, walking back towards me slowly, “You don’t think I could have you on that desk screaming for me in minutes?”

I rolled my eyes, “You’re so damn sure of yourself”

He shrugged, stopping right it front of me, “I think I could please you just fine… Why don’t you take me for a test drive?”

I smirked, “How could you possibly satisfy me when you haven’t even had the balls to kiss me yet?”

Once those words left my mouth, I knew it was on.

He stepped forward, taking my face between his hands and kissing me roughly.

It was possibly the best kiss I had ever had, but I wasn’t going to admit that to him.

His hands moved to my waist, pulling my body closer to his as he pressed me against his desk.

"When you came in here this morning and bent down to fuck with that cymbal, seeing your ass in that tight skirt… I could have pulled you out of this room and fucked you senseless" he growled, letting his hands slide to my ass.

I let out a small moaned when he squeezed it roughly through my skirt. He smirked, “Something tells me you like it rough, don’t you, baby?”

I looked at him, “Find out”

He didn’t waste any time in pulling my blouse over my head, tossing it aside and letting his lips roam my neck. I moaned softly, running my fingers through his hair.

He moved his hands to the zipper of my skirt, sliding it down slowly and letting my skirt slip down my legs.

His fingers brushed along my hips before he hooked his hands around the backs of my thighs and he lifted me onto his desk.

His lips connected with mine again as I started undoing the buttons on his shirt. “Not so hesitant now, are you?” He teased, shrugging off his shirt.

I smiled, “I just wanna prove you wrong”

He chuckled, “We’ll see who was wrong, baby doll”

He stepped back and unbuttoned his jeans, coming back over to me and allowing me to slide them down his thighs.

I couldn’t help but let my eyes linger on the bulge in his boxers. He was ridiculously sexy and it was driving me crazy.

"Are you just gonna stare?" He asked, making me look up at him. "Shut up" was all I could mutter before his lips were back on mine.

He slid his hand up my thigh, letting his fingers brush against my heat. I bit my lip to stop a moan, not wanting to let him know just how desperately I wanted it.

He smirked, noticing my lip bite, and slipped my panties to the side. He brushed his fingers up my slit before pressing them against my clit.

I gasped, gripping the edge of his desk. “Someones sensitive” he teased, moving his fingers in slow circles.

I couldn’t stop the moans from spilling past my lips. It only encouraged him to go faster. “You like that, huh?” He asked, pressing his lips against my jaw and sliding his fingers down to my entrance.

He kissed along my neck softly as he slowly slid a finger into me, making me moan out. He smiled against my skin, curling his finger and making my back arch.

I let my head fall back, allowing him more access to my neck.

"Fuck me" I finally moaned. He straightened up and took his hand away from me, smirking at me, "What was that?" I clenched my jaw, "I said, fuck me, you ass"

He smiled, “Was that so hard?” I scoffed, “Shut up and show me what you were so cocky about”

He didn’t hesitate to push his boxers down, revealing his fully hard cock. I couldn’t help but smirk, “Not bad, Styles”

He moved his hands to my thighs, spreading my legs and pulling me closer to the edge of his desk, “You haven’t seen anything yet”

He took himself into his hand, pumping a few times and pulling my panties to the side, then rubbing his tip against my folds.

I bit my lip, watching as his tip barely sunk into me before be pulled away again. “Stop being a tease” I groaned.

He smirked, “Fine”

He gripped my hips and pushed into my slowly. I moaned, letting my arms wrap around his neck as he held inside me.

"You’re so tight," he murmured, "when’s the last time you got fucked real good?" I smirked, "Ask me that again later"

He smiled at my little tease and pulled back before slamming into me again. I moaned, gripping his shoulders as he began to rock into me faster.

"Fuck" I whimpered, wrapping my legs around his waist.

He started to pound into me deeper, making my back arch into his body. “You sure seem to be enjoying this” he said, a sexy grin crossing his lips as he pushed into me deep.

All I could do was moan in response. I couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of him inside of me. Hitting that little spot that drove me wild.

"Faster" I gasped, scratching my nails down his back as be thrusted into me rougher. He moaned, the sound only turning me on more.

I slid my hand between us and pressed my fingers to my clit, rubbing in fast circles.

I moaned louder at the double sensation. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum” I finally moaned, letting my head fall back in pleasure as he pounded himself into me hard.

"Cum for me" he said, gripping my thighs as he rocked into me deep.

I felt breathless as the pleasure intensified and my body arched against him. He wrapped his arm around me as my body tensed and I moaned his name.

He bit his lip as his hips jerked forward and his fingers dug into my hips. “Fuck” he finally growled, stilling inside me as he came.

We both stayed in the same position for a moment. I let my forehead rest against his chest as I regained my breathing.

"So… When’s the last time you got fucked real good?" He asked, making me look up at him with a smile. "Mmm… About two minutes ago" I said, leaning up and kissing him quickly.

He smiled and pulled away from me, pulling up his boxers and jeans before collecting my clothes from the floor for me.

"I’m going to need to see you after classes again tomorrow" he said, handing me back my clothes.

I laughed, “Is that so? What for?”

He smiled, taking a seat behind his desk as I redressed myself, “Let’s just say… More scheduling.”


The Cute One - Niall Horan

*Y/N’s POV*

He was just one of my classmates. We had math class together, we said hello to each other in the school hallways but we weren’t actually friends.

He was a normal guy. Tall, blonde, with beautiful blue eyes and he had good taste in clothes. He had four friends at school and they would all act like brothers. Niall was the cute one, Louis the class clown, Harry the flirty one, Zayn the mysterious one and Liam was the smart one. To be honest, if I could’ve been friends with them, I would be best friends with Niall because I liked him the most. Well, maybe it was because I had a little crush on him.

So, it was time for math class and I was already in the classroom as Niall sat next to me. “Hey Y/N,” He said, smiling at me. “Hi Niall, do you have time after class?” “Yes I do, this is my last class so…” “How about coming home with me? We can study for the test on Thursday?” “Sounds good” I said with a smile as our teacher came in.

After class finished, we walked to his house since his house wasn’t that far away from our school. he led me inside into his room and I sat on his bed. He sat down next to me and took out his math book. We really worked for a good hour until he said ‘”Why don’t we take a break?” I nodded and lay down on his bed. “This is very cozy..” He chuckled and lay down next to me. “Y/N?” “Yeah?” “I really like you. You should come here more often.” He rolled onto his side, looking at me. “That’s a great idea because I like you too.” He smiled and I turned onto my side to look at him properly. By now our faces were just inches away from one another, and he was looking at my lips, then deeply into my eyes. Suddenly his eyes closed and his lips kissed mine.

I was surprised for a moment but kissed him back. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on top of him, so I was straddling him. I put my hands around his neck, stroking it with my thumbs. He grabbed my butt which made me gasp. He rubbed it softly and put his hands into the back pockets of my jeans. I started unbuttoning his plaid shirt as he broke the kiss to take off my shirt. Unfortunately I had my ugliest bra on - a nude colored one. He just chuckled and took it off as well, flipping me over and cupping them in his hands. I moaned as he rubbed my nipples with his thumbs. He continued and I took off his jeans and boxers, to find his hard erection. I grabbed it in my hand and started pumping slowly. He stopped playing with my tits and moaned. I went faster which made him moan “Ohhhhh Y/N..” I pushed him on his back and got in between his legs, still pumping him, and took the head of his dick in my mouth. He moaned loudly at this and began moaning even louder as I sucked him even harder. “Y/N I’m so close! You’re so good at this!!” I pumped faster and licked the slit of his head and took it in my mouth again and he came. I swallowed it down and kissed him again. He took off my jeans and panties in one movement and got on top of me, pushing his dick deeply into me. I moaned loudly at this. He started slow, then picked up the speed going faster and faster until we both came. He gently lay down beside as we both tried to control our panting.

"Oh hell Niall.. This was amazing," I said, trying to catch my breath. "You were amazing. No, you are amazing," He chuckled. He took me in his arms. "Let’s cuddle a bit until you have to go again."

Also find this on

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Three

*Colleen’s P.O.V.*

It’s been a couple of months since I ran. I’ve been updated by Andrea, the only one I will talk to, that there’s a manhunt for Jack. I made her make yet another promise; to tell no one she has been talking to me. No one. If Harry knew; he’d kill her.

Anyone who finds him gets a reward, and no questions asked about how he was found or if he’s injured. I’ve been reassured that once he’s caught there’s no way he will be allowed to leave. Ever. I’ve been promised. There’s also a restraining order on him so he stays away. He can’t even be in the same town as me. I wake up every morning around eight; never being able to sleep any longer. I shower since it’s actually been a few days; the only thing that crosses my mind is death. I can’t really get into any routine. After my shower I head downstairs to help my dad with breakfast; one thing I have come accustomed to since I’ve been back. It relaxes my nerves as much as the Ativan does. Today, when I walk through the kitchen door I freeze seeing Harry at the breakfast bar with a cup of coffee in his hands.

“Harry!” I gasp.

“Hi,” he greets back staring at his cup.

“I’ll give you two a moment,” my dad says as he puts his cup in the sink.

“How… How have you been?” I ask when I know for sure my dad isn’t listening in.

“I’ve feel like shit considering my so called girlfriend shut me out once again and left without saying a word,” anger rises in his voice. “I had to see stories of you through tabloids and gossip magazines all saying the same thing. That you left me! And hated me!”

“Harry, I can expl-“

“Well please do, Colleen!” he interrupts. “Because I’ve been wracking my brain; trying to piece everything back together and make sense of it all! Why you left me,” Harry yells. “Why you kept stuff from me…” he starts to tear up.


“Did you even know what happened the night Niall and Louis arrived at their apartment?!”


"Niall and Louis caught him red handed trying to get in through the bedroom window! Eleanor and Andrea were in hysterics. Niall and Louis got a few punches in before they threw him out and called the cops anonymously. They didn’t even accept the reward that was offered; all they cared about the girls’ privacy and our safety."

“Harry! I’m sorry! I know that I should have told you and everyone else. Told you all of what was going on. I was selfish; I’ve realized that. I… That’s why I left; I had to fight this myself. It would only work if I could get through this myself! If I stayed and pretended that I was okay and happy, I would have ruined your career! You and I would have never been the happy couple we wanted to be. I did this for us,” I step closer to him, “So that we can have a happier, stable future. I went to rehab. It’s been two months now, and I haven’t been cutting; the night-terrors have nearly disappeared. I wish you could understand why I had to leave everyone, and sort this out myself first. I’m healed now, at least more than I was, and I can now be the girlfriend I always wanted to be for you; the one that doesn’t flinch when you touch her. Harry, I did this for us!” I finally get to say as I place my hands on his face pulling him close to place a gentle kiss on his lips.

He pulls away wiping the tears off his face speaking again, “Niall and Andrea took the first flight they could get to Ireland when he finally reached her. I haven’t heard from them since. Louis and Eleanor have been taking care of me… Zayn joined Perrie on her tour, and Liam and Nicole are spending most of their time between her family and his.”

“I know…” I look away. “I’ve been talking to Andrea for the last couple of weeks. Emailing, texting, and Skype once a week. I missed them. Not seeing Andrea since before tour was agonizing.”

“And not talking to me wasn’t?! Why couldn’t you have called me?! Or make contact with me, Colleen?!”

“Because I knew you would find your way back to me whether you knew or not! You know me better than I know myself! We were meant to be, Harry. Don’t you see that?!” With that Harry kisses me again; he pulls me as close as possible to him, and kisses me how I’ve always wanted to be kissed by him.

“That felt good,” Harry laughs resting his forehead against mine. “Don’t ever leave me again.”

“I won’t. I promise.” I wipe his tears away.

“Your…” he slowly speaks, “Your dad said something about nightmares. That you had them every night before you went to rehab, but you wouldn’t tell your parents what they were about… Will you tell me…?” The tears that had subsided start again as I tell him about the first one I had, and then he’s crying with me as I tell him about the others. “Shh. Shh. It’s alright. No one’s going to hurt you. I know I’ve made this promise a lot over the past year or so, but I want you to know that I will keep you safe and protect you from now on,” Harry brushes the hair out of my face.


For the next few weeks Harry and I spend most of the time with my family, relax in the sun, and just act like normal people for once. The guys are headed out in a month to retake the rest of the tour; finishing it up for the fans they’ve disappointed.

I wake up at eight like always and head downstairs immediately since I’m hungry. It’s weird; Harry wasn’t in the bed when I woke up. Must be in the shower, and I didn’t hear it, or he went out for a jog. I want to surprise him with breakfast in the back yard. As I’m zooming around the kitchen humming my favorite song my dad steps into the room.

“It suits you,” my dad says.

“Daddy…? What are you talking about?” I eye him.

“Your hand.”

“Oh my… He didn’t, did he?” I look at my dad confused.

“Sure looks like he did,” he smiles.

“Did he ask you for permission?!”

“He did. That morning he arrived. He told me he had to knowing how old-fashioned you are in relationships. Told me all about the night he asked you to be your girlfriend. Seems like the ring matches the bracelet.” And it does. It’s perfect; just a thin band with a single diamond that’s slightly raised. I run upstairs hoping Harry would be back. And he was, but I didn’t see him. I see that our bed is made perfectly with a note on top of my pillow. As I read it the butterflies that I get every time I think about him, hear him sing or talk to him begin in my stomach.

Hey Beautiful,

I love you. Join me in the Hershey Gardens at 9 am. I’ll be waiting.



I look at the clock on the nightstand, it reading 8:30. It’s about a twenty minute drive to the gardens from here. I don’t have much time, so I throw on jeans, do my hair as best as I can manage then run out of the house. After walking around the Gardens for what feels like forever I finally see him, my Harry. I can’t help but to smile every time I see him. I know now, after everything we’ve been through, I only want him. Nothing will tear us apart.

“Hey,” I breath after running into his arms.

“Hello, Love,” he wraps his arms around me kissing the top of my head, “I’ve missed you. The real you.”

“I have too…” I trail off.

“Walk with me,” he says grabbing my hand.

“Okay,” I laugh. “But what is this all about, Haz? The ring? The Rose Garden?”

You’ll see,” he laughs in return. Harry walks me a few yards before we come to a stop and points at a row of roses. I take a closer look not letting go of his hand. I start to cry; they’re beautiful white roses with shades of red, mostly dark reds, titled ‘Through the Dark.’

“Oh, Harry!” I turn to him crying tears of joy for once.

“I had it made just for you, and that’s why it’s called that. Because you fought through the dark for your loved ones, you fought through the dark for our love, and most importantly you fought through the dark for your life. I love you so much, Colleen,” he pulls me into his arms. When I look up at him resting my chin on his chest he continues, “All of it made me realize that I never want to live my life without you.” He goes down on one knee, “I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life; I want to be able to hold you every time you need me, and feel the warmth that radiates from you. And since I put the ring on you this morning that leaves you with no choice but to only say yes.”

“Yes. Yes! YES!” I say throwing my arms around his neck kissing him as hard as possible. We head back home, and I can’t wait to tell my parents. And Andrea, I miss her so much. We stayed in touch over emails and Skype calls once a week, but I miss her. I really miss her. But the last time we talked it sounded like they didn’t have any plans in coming here. Ever.

As we walk through the front door everyone yells, “Surprise!” I snap my head to them all in shock. All my friends are here; Louis and Eleanor, Zayn and Perrie, Liam and Nicole and Andrea and Niall.

“ANDREA!!” I yell as I run towards her; Niall slides out of the way knowing we’re bound to fall.

“Hey baby girl, I’ve missed you so much,” she whispers.

“You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve missed you. I was just thinking to myself about how you sounded like you would nev… Whoa! What is this?!” I ask pulling her hand in mine. “When did this happen?!”

“Oh, this? Well, after what happened, Niall asked me to marry him,” she says admiring Niall.

“What they hell?! You could have invited us! Or maybe just mention it!”

“That’s what we said,” Eleanor shakes her head laughing.

“Hey, it’s not like I had a say that day!” she laughs. “I said yes, and when we woke up the next Saturday, we went for it. Maura, my mom, the twins and Denise were there; they had to be ready before two pm,” she explains.

“And you think this is funny?” I snap at Niall.

“It is. A looked beautiful that day, by the way.”

“Well, we’ll never know, now will we?”

“That’s also what we said,” Perrie says glaring at Andrea and Niall.

“Lottie, I promise it wasn’t some backyard wedding,” Niall adds, “We flew her parents in and her twin sisters, my mom and Chris. Then dad, Greg, Denise and Theo. The ceremony was in Barberstown Castle in Kildare, and she took my breath away.

“That doesn’t help since it sounds like it was wonderful,” I say finally standing up. “I understand you two wanted privacy, but wow, we’re best friends, and you could have at least told me,” I say jokingly angered.

“That’s what we told them,” Louis speaks.

“Since all of us are sharing news… Um, Harry proposed to me this morning…” I say shyly.

“We knew that…” Louis says. “Well, I did. I helped him pick out the ring.”

“Congratulations, Lottie!” Niall hugs me.

“Don’t be nice now, Ni. I’m still deciding if I want you and A on the guest list since we weren’t on yours,” I tease.

“Whatever makes you happy,” he kisses the top of my forehead.

“Why don’t we go sit outside? I got us a few drinks and snacks,” says Liam. “To celebrate all the good news that’s been going around.”

“Before we do, I just want to say, Andrea, Eleanor, Louis and Niall, I am so sorry about what happened. I never meant for it to go this far and out of control. And I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust and forgiveness,” I say holding back tears.

“Hey, don’t feel bad. It was out of your control; don’t take the blame for some pervert,” El says pulling me into a hug.

“Yea. Hey, at least we’re okay. Thank goodness Niall and Louis arrived when they did,” Andrea also embraces me.

“But what if they didn-”

“We did, Love. And that’s all that matters,” Louis hugs me too.

“Hey Lot, he’s locked away now. For good, and you’re better now. So let’s not dwell on the past, okay?” Niall joins the group hug; crushing me.

“Okay! This… Is… Getting… Awkward…” Louis shouts between breaths. Niall starts to make sex sounds, and we all struggle to move away from our group, but end up collapsing hitting the floor. Everyone starts to laugh.

“Fucking idiot,” Louis says as he gets up after punching Niall in the arm. The laughter becomes hysterical.

“Owe!” Niall laughs harder.

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Two

Author’s note: Next chapter early because I feel really guilty for the last chapter; I didn’t mean to scare anyone or offend anyone. I’m still surprised at myself that I didn’t even think about how the readers would react to the content of the chapter. I am really sorry!

*Harry’s P.O.V.*

A part of me has died. Not a note, not a word from her. I know she ran; but I have no clue as to where or why. Did she give up? Did I let her down? “FUCK!” I yell as I throw her phone across the floor. “What did I do? What happened to you?” I vigorously wipe tears from my face.

“Harry, you need to calm down. She’ll make contact when she’s ready. Just give her time. Give her space,” Holly speaks from the door. Liam and Nicole’s eyes show fear and worry.

“No! I let her down!” I yell at them standing up. I shove past them going to the kitchen of my house. I immediately grab a drink from my fridge. The only thing I’ve really done since she left.

“Harry!” Liam tries to grab my beer. “You can’t keep doing this! You can’t fucking drink away your problems. Don’t forget we’re,” he motions towards Nicole and himself, “Just as worried about her, you know?! She’s our responsibility too!”

“It’s different!”

“How is it different?”

“I love her! She’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with!” The three of them look at me shocked. “Okay?!” I start to chug my beer. “I’m scared she’s given up.”

“I’m sure she didn’t give up,” Nicole says about to touch me. “Maybe she needs this. Maybe she needs to clear her head, and figure out where to go from here, Harry.” She makes contact with my arm and rubs it.

“Like I said, it’s easy for you two to say these things, but it’s not for me. Louis and Niall are are back with their girls while I have no clue where Colleen is. Zayn is with Perrie, and Liam, you have Nicole right next you. I don’t have a clue where to even start looking for her.”

“What did her dad say?” Liam asks with a look of remorse.

“He said they had no idea she ran. They thought she was still with us…” I shake my head.

Liam and Nicole leave along with Holly knowing they can’t do anything for me. I stare out the window of my London home, the one that Colleen and I finally started sharing, since I’m finally home. All I do is stare and drink. But now, now it’s only mine. I watch the sea of people walk through the streets, and the fans trying to get my attention from the front gates of the house.

My phone begins to buzz; I grab it hoping to God it’s Colleen. It’s not; it’s just Twitter. I decide to read a few.


“We love you Harry!”

“Where’s Colleen? You and her were perfect!”

“Harry, we’re worried about you.”


Days ,weeks, months have gone by, yet I’ve heard nothing. I feel absolutely nothing. I don’t know what to do without my baby girl. I’m too scared to contact her, and I can’t think of how. Everyone can feel sad for me all they want, but it’s not going to make a difference. It’s not going to bring Colleen back. After  finishing the fifth beer I’ve had today I storm out of the house grabbing my leather jacket before I slam the front door shut. I drive my Rover out of the driveway hoping everyone gets the fuck out of my way. They do as soon as the see the angered expression on my face. I could care less about the crowd of people in front of me. My thoughts were preoccupied by only one person, and one person alone. The one person I want, but the one who left without saying goodbye. The hurt and the anger rises; taking over my over my heart. I slowly slip into dangerous territories. Partying. And drinking.

As I sit at the bar of the night club my drunken state gets worse and worse. It has been weeks; over a month since I last saw Colleen. “Harry, what they hell are you doing here?” I turn looking through hazy eyes looking at who I assume to be Louis.

“How the hell did you find me?”

“Liam told me what you started, and I tracked your phone,” he answers angrily.

“Leave me alone.”

“No.” Louis grabs my arms.

“Let go of me!”

“No,” he says firmly. I wind up my arm and sock Louis in the jaw. He throws a punch right back. “We’re leaving.” I don’t say anything; only follow him solemnly.

Louis helps me into the back of his car. I see that Eleanor is in the front; almost looking as solemn as me. My eyes flutter as the alcohol takes over. The last thing I hear is, “What are we going to do?” from El.


I wake up, not in my room, but the guest bedroom I know all too well to be in Louis and Eleanor’s home. My head pounds as I struggle to sit up. “Fuck, what happened to me?”

“You’ve been getting drunk every night…” I look up to see El in the doorway holding a glass of water and something else in her other hand. “Here,” she says walking over to me. She hands me two Tylenol. I look away from her as she sits next to me on the bed. She starts to rub my back, “Harry, you’ll find her.”

“You don’t think she’ll do anything stupid do you?”

“Her? No. There’s no way,” she says matter-of-factly. I sigh deeply.

“Mate, why don’t you go after her? Start looking for her?” Louis asks joining us.


“You seem to be forgetting that you have, as selfish as this sounds, the money to get the resources to find her.”

“But that would be invading her privacy. What if I go there and she hates me for it?”

“You won’t know until you look.”

Louis’s right, I have to find her. She can hate me all she wants, but I need her. It’s no longer that wanting feeling; it’s a needing feeling. A need that makes my heart ache. My first idea is to call the hotel to see if they’ll know where the taxes took Colleen. It’s a small hope, but still a hope.

“Hello?” the front desk answers.

“Hi, this is Harry Styles. Of  One Direction, so I’m hoping I’ll be remembered…” I hesitantly say. “We were there a couple months ago, and I was wondering if the person who was working Wednesday, August fourteenth was there?”

“Yes, Trish is here. I’ll go get her for you.”

“Thank you!”

A few minutes pass, “This is Trish.”

“Hello Trish, I don’t know if whoever I just talked to told you, but this is Harry Styles.”

“Yes, I was told so. How may I help you?”

“I was wondering if you could track down a taxi service that my girlfriend took that day.”

“Her name?”

“Colleen Burke…” I hesitate.

“Just a second.” I wait impatiently hoping for some kind of news. “Yes, it was just Yellow Cap services.”

“Do you know where they took her?”

“It says Orlando International Airport.”

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I say.

“You’re welcome. Have a nice day.”

“You too!”

“What did they say, Harry?” Eleanor asks.

“They said she took a cab to Orlando International Airport…”

“You don’t think…?” Louis says hesitantly.

It hits me, “She went home,” my eyes widen. “Home home.” The other two look at me in shock.

I hop in my Rover, which they brought back for me, and drive to my house. I run through my house frantically throwing random stuff in a suitcase. I have to get to her! She’s at the only place she can get away from everything. The only place she escapes from the world. I just hope I’m not too late. Louis meets back up with me to drive me to the airport.

“One flight to JFK?”

“You’re lucky; we have one seat left, and it boards in twenty minutes.”

“I’ll take it!” The woman hands me the ticket after I pay and I rush to the waiting area. Louis and Eleanor stay with me. We keep our hoodies up; hiding ourselves as much as possible. The longest twenty minutes of my life finally pass, but now I have another eight agonizing hours to get to her. Not counting the drive I have to take from JKF; so it’s really an eleven hour trip.

“Call us when you get there. When you find her,” Eleanor says looking into my eyes placing her hand on my cheek.

“I will,” I cry. Colleen, I’m coming for you!

*Twelve hours later*

I’m finally here, and I’m terrified to enter her house. It’s almost five in the morning when I vigorously knock on the front door.

“Who the hell is at the door at five in the morning?” I hear her father say through the wall. “Who the he-” he stops mid-sentence. “What do you think you’re doing here?”

“Sir…” I stumble. “Mr. Burke,” I say shaking. “Please…?”

“You better have a damn good reason why you’re just arriving.”

“Can I come in?” He steps aside letting me in the warm house.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Mr. Burke asks after making us coffee.

“I don’t have anything to say,” I stare at my cup.

“She didn’t stop crying for weeks. She used to wake up every night screaming before she got help. She tried running one night,” he says sternly.

“I… I know she does… She had for months with me… And-”

“The first night she tried running after waking up from a nightmare, and she still hasn’t told us what any of them are about.”

I stop moving my legs and shoot my head up to look at him. Tears are on the brim of my eyes. “I am so sorry I haven’t been here. I was selfish. I didn’t know where to even look for her. I… I couldn’t think straight without her around… I had it planned that we would stop here after the tour, and I… I was…”

“You were what, Harry?!” He’s the only man other than my own dad that scares me when he’s angry.

“I was going to ask your permission if I could marry her…” I look away from him.

I see his hand tighten around his mug from the corner of my eyes. “After all of this… This… Shit. I don’t know if I want you to.” I knew this was going to happen.

“Please, sir! I can’t live without her. I’ve been going crazy. It only took me this long because I was stupid and was drinking away my problems. It took my friends to make me realize-”

Mr. Burke cuts me off, “But,” he says sternly, “All she’s been doing is wondering if you still cared for her. She never expected you to show, but I know she hasn’t given up.” I still won’t look at him. “She’s my little girl, and if you let anything happen to her, you have to deal with me.”

“I know, sir,” I say shakily.

“I will allow you to marry her. If she says yes.”

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“Go get some sleep, son.”

“I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.” Mr. Burke stays with me for a few more hours; around the time Colleen usually wakes up.

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-One
!!!! I wrote a little warning for my other sites, if you want to use it: So it has come to my attention that I should put a warning on this chapter because it gets twisted and dark. Law & Order twisted and dark; meaning, a dream about rape. Please note that the main point of this chapter is that Colleen runs away because she feels guilty for what she put the guys through. She goes to her parents for helps, then ends up having a nightmare about Jack getting to her again, and then she tries to run. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT OKAY WITH THIS KIND OF CONTENT!

Please forgive my twisted mind; I never thought about how readers would react to this kind of content.

*Colleen’s P.O.V.*

I didn’t get any sleep last night, and I’ve never seen Niall behave the way he did only a few hours ago. So angry, so scared, but still a hint that he wanted to apologize. I can’t stand the idea of losing him as a friend. I make my way through the hallway to his room and check on him. I hesitate to knock on the open door to his room. I watch him pace back and forth as he packs and talks on the phone. “Princess, please stop being stubborn and just make sure you’re packed and ready to leave. We’re headed to Ireland,” he’s most definitely talking to Andrea.

“Niall, why is there security here?!” I hear her yell through the phone.

“I’ll explain when I get back.” I wipe the tears from my eyes when Niall notices me standing in the doorway. “Indefinitely. See you soon. I love you.”

“Can I come in?” I ask lowly.


“Ni…” I reach for him, but pull away when he turns from me back to his bags. “I’m sorry I kept this from you.”

He shakes his head and rubs his neck as he stares at the ceiling taking a deep breath. When he looks back at me he says, “I don’t have time for this. The only thing I can think about right now, and care about, is Andrea and Eleanor being alone with that asshole prowling around.”

“But she said something about se-”

“Niall, the driver is ready to take us to the airport,” Louis says from behind me.

“Ni… Please don’t be mad at me,” I plead.

“Look. I can’t do this now… I have bigger things to worry about at this stage,” he says giving me a half-hearted kiss on the forehead as he moved past me towards Louis.

“Niall please!” I try one last time reaching out to him.

“COLLEEN!” I retract my arms. “Can you just back off?!” I jump back shaking. “I’ll call you when I’m home. I just need to get to Andrea,” are his last words as I watch Louis and Niall disappear around the corner. Louis smiles apologetically at me as they make their way around the corner.

I feel worthless. How could I do this to my friends? What did I expect? There’s only one person I know who can fix this; only one person I need right now. My dad. He’ll help me clean up this mess. I go back to my room as Harry is out talking plans with Paul and pack as much as I need for traveling. I manage to leave the hotel unnoticed. As I watch the hotel disappear in the back window silent tears fall from my eyes. This is my battle; no one else’s. I know my friends will be there for me in the end; I just hope they can understand why I have to do this. I’ve had enough, and I’m taking my life back. Hopefully.

It’s a four hour flight from Orlando to Harrisburg then a short drive to Hershey, and I use cash so no one can follow me. I stand outside the airport looking for my dad. “Colleen!” he yells from the car.

“Daddy!” I run to him. He embraces me in a tight hug. “I’ve missed you!” I try to hold back tears.

“I’ve missed you too.” My dad has never been one to show much emotion. Unless it’s something serious. Like when he found out everything. Through the drive home we don’t say anything, and I’m trying my hardest to hold back the tears that want to escape my eyes.

I didn’t tell them much as to why I ran, but they know the others don’t know where I am. “Colleen,” my mom says when I enter the house. “It’s so nice to have you back.”

I tell them everything. I don’t keep many secrets from my parents. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen my dad cry outside of a funeral. Which means this is terrible. “So the guy is still in London?”


“Anything we can do to help?” my mom asks.

“I guess just keep me safe,” I sigh. “I also want to keep seeing a psychiatrist…”

“Alright. How have the medications been working?”

“I think really well. Except these last few weeks.”

“Have you been taking the Ativan?”

“No…” I whisper.

“Have you…?” my mom doesn’t want to finish the question.

“Yes… That’s why I want to go back. I started using scar cream and they were almost gone. His sentence hasn’t even been given yet, as far as I know…”

“But it’s been over a year now!” my mom says.

“He probably has someone working for him on the inside,” I wipe a tear away with the back of my hand while laughing without humor.

“We’ll take care of this. You know we will,” my dad says.

“The boys’ head of security already is…”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t help.”

“Do any of the boys know you’re here?” my mom asks worried.

“No… I’m tired of burdening them with my problems.”

“But Harry loves you.”

“I know…” I twiddle my thumbs. “I just don’t want him to get hurt. Or the others.”

“Will the guy find you here?”

“I have no idea. Like I said, he’s still over there. I threw my phone away before I left the hotel… I didn’t want to be tracked…”

“Harry is going to find you, you know?” my dad says a bit bitterly.


“I still don’t trust him either.”

“I know…”

“Alright,” my mom interjects, “I’m going to go make dinner. Why don’t you go wash up, Colleen?”

I only nod my head before I head upstairs. I stare at myself in the mirror as I undress. Wounds cover my forearms, thighs and stomach… I never thought I would be someone to do this to themselves. The thought of suicide crossing my mind more than ever. The only thing keeping me from doing so is Harry. And the others. I do realize what would happen if I were to do it. I hate myself realizing I didn’t pack any razors and my parents have all sharp objects locked away if not hidden. I wasn’t even allowed to shave unless someone was in the bathroom with me for the longest time. I always did it when the guys were rehearsing and said I went to do something.

I let hot water run over my body warming it back up since losing blood made my body temperature drop. I can feel a headache coming on as I stare at the scabs. I’ve never had a strong stomach when it came to blood and other medical things. Don’t ask me how I could do this to myself because I simply couldn’t tell you.

I walk back downstairs smelling pasta through the halls. My mom has ravioli boiling on the stove, and my dad is setting up the Blu Ray player up. “What are we watching?” I whisper.

“The Dark Knight Rises,” he chuckles. I’m definitely his daughter.

My mom serves me as I snuggle into my favorite blanket and stuffed animal. “Thanks, mom,” I half smile.

“You’re welcome, baby girl,” she kisses the top of my head.

The Dark Knight Rises is actually a special movie to my dad and me. He got us spots to be extras in the football scene. It was a very hot day; and that morning it was raining. My daddy and I were there from seven in the morning to seven at night. We forgot sunscreen and my chest burned horribly. We also found out the hard way that our umbrellas were not UV protected.

Halfway through the movie our phone rings. “Harry! Harry, calm down!” I shoot my head towards my dad. “No, she’s not here? We thought she was with you?” my dad says like I’m not actually here. “When did she leave?” Pause. “Alright. If she contacts us, we’ll let you know,” he lies.

“Why did you lie?”

“I figured you wouldn’t want any of them around…”

“Thank you.”

After the movie I head back upstairs. There’s a body pillow that I’ve had for most of my life and I wrap my body as tightly as possible around it. Luckily my parents’ room isn’t next to mine. I can’t help but to cry as the feeling of betrayal overcomes me. I know I’ve betrayed them all. Niall and Andrea, Louis and Eleanor, Liam and Nicole, Zayn and Perrie. And Harry. I know for a fact that he’s worried sick. He’s most likely shut himself out from everything around him. The tears fall faster than they ever have, and I fear that if I fall asleep I’m going to wake my parents up.


“Harry?” I call out. “Is that you?”

“It’s not your boy band boyfriend, darling.” I know that voice. I know that voice all too well.

“No. You’re not here. You’re not real!” I scream. I cover my ears as an eerie laughter leaves his mouth. I shut my eyes as tight as possible curling into a ball in the corner of the room.

“Of course I’m real, darling.” I still hear him through my covered ears. I feel a tight grip on my arm then being pulled through my house. I try to dig the heels of my feet into the ground; only to be pulled into a wall. My head begins to spin while Jack continues to drag me through the house. We end up in my bedroom; the one I grew up in. I widen my eyes scared for my life. I’m thrown onto the bed, and he straddles my waist; keeping me pinned to the bed.

‘This can’t be happening!’ I scream in my head. I can’t get any words out. Jack ties me to the bed; hands and feet. I feel like I’m in one of those crime shows; an episode where the girl never gets free.

“Oh, shut up,” he says annoyed as I start to cry. As my tears begin Jack unbuttons my shirt. My body shakes as his fingertips touch my skin. “It’s in your lips. And in your kiss,” he says with this sarcastic tone, “It’s in the touch of your fingertips, Love.” I stare at him shocked as fear builds up more. “That’s right, darling,” he laughs, “I know aaaall about your song with that idiot.”

“No,” I say quietly with fear. “No. No! NO! You can’t know that! Only he and I know that!”

“Remember, I’ve been watching you,” he pushes my hair from my face. “Come on, darling, there’s no need to cry.”

The rest of my clothes are removed; I can’t even keep my eyes open. I cry more as I feel his hand getting closer. “I bet he can’t make you feel the way I can.” My lip quiver as I shake my head. There was no getting out of this one. “No! Stop it!”

He forcefully puts his hand over my mouth. “That’s not what I want to hear!” he screams. I start to sob. “Shut up!” He can’t understand that I won’t be able to stop crying. Jack stands up to remove his pants. And underwear. I turn away. Only to have my head forcefully pulled back. “Open your damn eyes!” I can’t. I try to pull my head from him, but he’s still too strong. “Fucking do it or I’ll kill you!” That’s the first death threat I’ve ever gotten from him. I still won’t do it. “AH!” I scream when I feel something sharp slice across my arm.

“You shouldn’t be screaming if you do it to yourself all the time!” he slaps me.

I don’t need to open my eyes to know what’s happening, and I’m trying as hard as I can to not cry out in pain. The pain is unbearable knowing what he is doing to me. Something I haven’t even done with Harry. I never gave him the chance. The longer it goes the worse it feels. I never knew someone could be this cruel, this dominant.

He’s finally done. After endless hours of tears and pain. “I’ll be back, Love,” he says before untying me. “Don’t miss me too much,” he chuckles. When I’m sure he’s out of the house, after he slams the door shut, I throw myself into the tightest ball ever. Sob. That’s all I do. That’s all I’m sure I can do.

I no longer have anyone I can confide in. Harry left me when I shut him out for good. There’s no way he would come back to me. It would be just a bunch of ‘I told you so’s’ if he knew this just happen. And worst of all, Jack will be back. I don’t know what I can do now. All I want to do is give up. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll give up.

I struggle to get out of my bed. First, I write a note.

To whomever finds this,

I’m sorry. There’s not much I can say. I guess it’s just time for me to go. Time for me to no longer be your burden.

With Love,


I sign it then stumble to my bathroom. As I fill the tub with steaming water I pull the razors I bought months ago out knowing it’ll all be over shortly. I step into the tub; no one will be able to stop me. The water burns against the new wounds.

“COLLEEN?!” I hear Harry’s voice.

No. It can’t be him. “You’re not real!” I yell. I take my razor to my skin; the sharpest one I have. I cut once. Then twice. Over and over again. My eyes begin to flutter as I watch the water turn a deep red.

“COLLEEN!!” I hear again.

“It’s him…” I say hopefully, but it’s too late.

Harry burst through the door with my note in his hand and tears rushing down his face. “NO! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME! I’M SORRY! I’M SO, SO SORRY!” I hear him sob pulling me out of the tub as my eyes finally shut.

“It’s over,” I breath once more.

*end dream*

I shoot out of bed crying. “NO!” I scream. “No. No! NO!” I continue to scream. I stumble out of bed not knowing what to do. Once downstairs I run for the door wanting to find Harry.

“Colleen!” someone shouts. “No!” they grab me. It’s my dad. They probably didn’t want to sleep knowing something like this could happen. He has me as tight as possible in his arms. The only other pair of arms that have ever been able to sooth me.

“Paul, what’s going on?” I stare at my mom as she walks to us.

“I don’t know. I woke up when I heard the screams then heard stumbling. The door alarm went off, so I had to check.” I don’t want to be here; but I can’t tell them that. I want to die.


It was out of the blue when he mentioned it. We were lying in bed watching a movie when the idea spilled past his lips.

"You should dress up as a kitten for me sometime" he said, looking at me with a smirk.

And here I am, the very next night, in black lingerie with kitten ears, waiting for him to get home from work.

I wasn’t sure about the idea when he first mentioned it. I thought he was joking, but when I looked at him, I knew instantly he wasn’t. And I definitely didn’t think I’d do it. But here I was, lounging on the couch in my kitty outfit.

I was scared that he was going to get home and laugh because I looked ridiculous, but I didn’t have much time to dwell on the thought. He’d be home any second and I wasn’t going to chicken out.

When I finally heard his car pull up outside, a surge of excitement shot through me.

I heard the front door open and the sound of his coat dropping to the table.

"Babe?" He called out, peeking into the living room. I looked at him over the back of the couch and smiled.

“Well… Hello, kitten” he murmured, coming over to the couch.

I stood up and watched as he took in my outfit. “Do you like it?” I asked, looking at him.

He smiled, “I love it… You look so sexy”

I smiled again when he hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me closer.

“Bet you weren’t expecting to come home to this, were you?” I asked, leaning in and brushing my lips against his. He just smirked, “Not at all… How about I take you upstairs and I can play with my new kitten?”

I smiled, “I think that sounds fun”

He pulled away from me and took my hand, lacing our fingers and leading me up to our bedroom.

He didn’t even close the bedroom door before his hands were on my hips and he was pulling me closer.

"You have no idea how much you’re turning me on" he said, leaning in and peppering kisses down my neck.

I smiled to myself, running my fingers under his shirt and brushing them against his stomach.

"You look so damn good" he said, taking my face between his hands and kissing me. The kiss was rough. Wanting.

His tongue moved against mine, sending a little surge of excitement to my core. I could already feel myself becoming wet at the thought of him.

He slid his hands down to my ass, squeezing roughly and making me moan into his mouth.

He pulled away from the kiss with a smirk on his face. “Get on the bed for me” he murmured, slapping my ass playfully.

I pulled away from him and crawled onto our bed, making sure he got a good view of my ass before I laid down.

He unbuckled his belt and pulled it from the loops of his pants, dropping it to the floor before coming to the bed.

He crawled towards me slowly, leaning down to press a kiss against my stomach before coming up to my lips.

"Are you wet for me, kitten?" he asked, his warm breath hitting my neck and sending shivers through me.

"Yes" I said, the word almost sounding like a moan. He smiled, letting his fingers run over the waistband of my panties, "I think I need to see"

He pulled my panties down slowly, tossing them to the floor.

He ran his hands up my thighs, spreading my legs for him.

I could already feel my body wanting him. The ache to be touched by him.

He moved down, resting himself between my thighs. His breath brushed out over my core, making my hips raise in want.

"Zayn" I whined, wanting nothing more than his hot mouth against me.

He smirked, pressing a soft kiss to my inner thigh, “Mmm… I know what you want, baby”

I bit my lip, watching as he leaned in again and pressed kisses up my heated skin.

My breath hitched in my throat when his lips finally met my heat. I moaned, arching my back slightly when his tongue moved over my clit.

He gripped my thighs, keeping my legs open as his tongue moved down to my entrance, dipping inside me and sending a wave of pleasure through me.

I ran my fingers through his hair, pressing his face closer to me as my hips rocked up to meet his mouth.

I couldn’t stop the moans falling past my lips when his tongue moved against me rougher.

"Zayn… Fuck" was all I could manage out, making him pull back and look at me.

"I think you’re ready for a bit more, aren’t you?" he teased, sitting up on his knees and pulling off his shirt.

I let my gaze travel over his torso as he rid himself of his pants and boxers.

He rested himself between my legs, letting his cock rub against my heat as he kissed my neck. I bucked my hips, craving more friction.

"So eager" he murmured, slipping a hand between us and pressing his fingers against my clit. He started rubbing in slow circles, making me moan his name softly.

He pulled his fingers away from me and took his cock in his hand, stroking himself a few times before pressing his tip against my entrance. “Are you ready?” he asked, waiting until I nodded before pushing into me slowly.

I moaned, arching my back as he slid himself into me. “Fuck” he murmured, holding inside of me before sliding out a bit and pushing back in.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his face closer to mine and kissing him. He started to rock his hips into me faster, making my thighs tighten around his waist.

"Faster" I moaned, letting my fingers move through his hair and tug softly. His hips sped up, slamming into me deeper and harder than before. I moaned his name, letting my head fall back against the pillows.

"You like being fucked like this?" he asked, his lips grazing over my jaw. I moaned in response, not being able to focus on anything but the feeling of him entering me over and over.

I could feels my walls starting to clench, making him moan a little louder when he slid into me. I knew I wouldn’t last long and so did he.

"Are you going to cum for me already?" he purred, his lips brushing my ear as his hips rolled into me deep. "Yes" I moaned, my voice sounding like a whisper.

He smirked, looking down at me as he started to slam into me faster. My eyes fell closed at the sensation of my orgasm building in my core.

“Look at me” he said, his thumb running over my cheek.

I looked up at him, watching him capture his lip between his teeth as he fucked me harder. He moaned my name, jerking his hips into me deeper and I was gone.

My walls clenched around him and his name was all the spilled past my lips. I gripped the sheets beneath me, rocking my hips up against him as I rode out my high.

He pulled out of me and sat up on his knees, taking himself in his hand and pumping his cock. I sat up, replacing his hand with mine.

I looked up at him as I stroked his length faster and he moaned, tangling his fingers in my hair as his hips jerked forward and he came.

"Oh, fuck" he moaned, letting his head fall back as his body came down from his orgasm.

I moved my hand away from him and he laid on the bed beside me, pulling me on top of him.

"You are truly amazing, (Y/N)" he sighed, letting his fingers brush through my hair. I smiled and pressed a kiss against his chest, letting my eyes fall closed.

"I love you" I mumbled, nestling myself closer to his body.

He kissed the top of my head, holding me against him as sleep started to take over my body, murmuring a soft “I love you too.”


Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty

*Harry’s P.O.V.*

I keep telling Holly that I’ve been feeling uneasy about Colleen. Something’s not right with her, and I feel like it’s something terrible. Colleen has been more tense and jumpy than she has for the past few months; and having night-terrors way more than usual. We’re in Florida for a week; four more shows and we’ll reach the halfway mark of the tour.

“HARRY!” I wake up as fast as possible like always turning to her. “Help me!” she tosses and turns in the bed. It’s been so common now that I just sigh deeply; another headache beginning again. She falls back into the bed shaking. I pull her onto my chest, and rub her back causing her to stir.

“Harry? What’s going on?”

“Another night-terror,” I say without any emotion. She doesn’t say anything. “Colleen, why are you having so many?”

“Am I really?”

“Yes. At least one every night.”

She looks up at me with soft eyes, “Harry,” she says calmly reaching for my face.

“Don’t even,” I say pushing her so I can get out of the bed. I begin to pace the room, “What are you keeping from me?! I am so fucking worried about you.” I hate swearing in front of her. “The others have been worried sick. Why are you shutting us out?!” She jumps back from me. “Honestly, I can’t help you if you don’t want to be helped.”

Tears roll down her eyes, “Harry… I’m not keeping anything from you.” She begins to tremble.

“That’s bullshit, Colleen! Stop lying to me!” She jumps even further back; hitting the wall. She won’t say anything. “I’m waiting,” I say pissed. Colleen falls to the floor crying, so I rush over on instinct yelling, “Baby!” nothing but fear crosses my lips.

“Alright, alright,” she says deeply. “The… The guy got parole,” she sobs uncontrollably sitting up. “He’s been harassing me!”

“Oh my gosh, Colleen! Why would you keep something like this from me?! From Holly?!”

“It gets worse…” she won’t look at me.


“He knows that El and Andrea aren’t with us. And that they’re at Niall’s home… He’s been watching them; he knows where Andrea works, and where El goes to school,” she replies grabbing onto me.

“My God, Colleen! Why would you keep this to yourself?!” I pull her closer stroking her hair. “Don’t you think the guys deserve to know about this?!” I take my phone from the nightstand.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m calling Paul. He’ll know what to do, and then we’ll go tell the guys.”

“O-okay,” she hiccups. After Paul comes to our room we tell him everything. He said he’ll be back with the final decision when he makes it; which probably won’t be a hard one to make. Even though it’s four in the morning we go around waking everyone up. I feel terrible that I have to ruin our tour.

“What the hell?!” Niall says, “It’s four in the damn mornin’!”

“Why the long faces?” Louis asks rubbing his eyes.

“Guys, we unfortunately need to talk.”

“What’s so important that you had to wake us up?” Liam says irritated.

“Don’t tell me, baby Styles is on his or her way?” Niall laughs angrily.

“It’s much worse than that…” I scratch the back of my head; everyone’s expressions change from annoyance to worry in less than a second.

Colleen and I stand here speechless, “Let’s,” she hiccups, “Let’s go into our room.”

"After we get Holly,” I add. Once she’s up she comes with us.

“Okay, now tell us!” Louis says once we’re all situated.

I speak up, “The guy that hurt Colleen got parole.” Niall, Louis, Liam and Nicole tense up the moment I began to talk.

“Go on,” says Louis through clenched teeth.

“He’s been threatening Colleen, and she’s been keeping it from us…”

“You kept this from us?!” yells Liam.

“That’s not all…”

“IT’S NOT?!”

“He knows that Eleanor and Andrea are back home. He knows where Andrea works and where El is going to school…”

“I think,” Colleen says, “I think he’s even been to your place, Niall.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU!” he yells at Colleen. I’ve never seen her so scared in my life. “Don’t start with this bullshit! I told you this is why I didn’t want to do this tour!” Niall continues to yell at us. I can’t tell if his tears are of fear… Or anger.

“Come on Niall, calm down. It’s not just Andrea, ya know? Are you forgetting that El is with her?!” Louis bolts up to get in Niall’s face. “What are we supposed to do about it? It’s not like there’s much if he’s already there.”

“What the hell, Louis?! How the fuck are you not concerned right now?!” Louis has always been the best at hiding his emotions. “Of course there’s nothing we can do now since Colleen’s not the one in danger this time! No, it’s the ones who aren’t with us! The ones we can’t protect!” Niall wipes the tears from his eyes. I think he’s the most scared knowing something might happen to the girls back home.

“Guys, the story checks out,” Paul says walking in on all of us. “The guy is on parole and I’m cancelling the rest of the tour until he’s been found. The best I can do for the girls right now is send them security.” He seems just as worried as the rest of us.

Niall walks over to us and leans down placing his hands on mine and Colleen’s shoulders, “If anything happens to Andrea, I will hate you two for the rest of my life. That’s a promise.” Niall storms out of the room slamming the door making everything on the walls shake.

Louis looks at us pissed off; finally showing some kind of emotion. Still calmer than Niall, “I really hope for your sake, they’re okay and well protected.” Louis shakes his head as he walks back to his room. Zayn, Liam and Nicole look between everyone; shock and fear is clearly seen in their eyes. Nicole embraces Colleen in a long, tight hug before the three of them leave the room.

Holly raises her hand to keep Colleen and I from leaving; I almost forgot she was in the room with us. “Colleen I-” she sighs. “I really can’t believe you kept this from us. Especially from him. You’ve been doing so well. And because it’s practically regulation for me to ask, have you been cutting?”

I look down at the girl bawled up in me, “Y-yes,” she stutters.

“Oh baby,” I cry with her hearing Holly sigh deeply. I lift her from the seat. “You’ll talk more about this later,” I say to Holly.

“Alright. Good night, you two.” She slowly walks out of the room with an equally saddened expression as the others.

I carry Colleen to our bedroom as she continues to sob into my shirt. “My baby girl.” I gently place her shaking body into her bed. At least I try to. “Come on, Love. Just lay down.” She won’t let go; tightening her grip around my neck. I sigh knowing I’m not going to win this. I slide into bed with Colleen still holding onto me. Hours pass as she continues to cry. This suffering kills me. “I watch the morning dawn upon your skin,” I start to sing as the sunrise shines through the room. “A splinter in the light; it caught and frayed the very heart of us. It’s been hiding there inside for all this time. How a sure thing winds up just like this. Clockwork silence only knows.” This is a song of one of the artist she introduced me to three years ago. Josh Groban’s Now or Never. The tears don’t stop, and I fear the never will.

Just Friends

"Fuck! Louis are you kidding me?" I yelled over the music.

I now had beer all in my hair and all over my clothes.

"Shit. I am so sorry (Y/N) it was an accident. I just slipped"

He walked around from the back of the couch where I was sitting. I could see Louis’ eyes were lazily blinking and he had a smug smile across his face. It’s how he always looks when he’s drunk. But that didn’t make me any less pissed that he spilled his drink all over me.

Louis and I have been friends for years. We didn’t plan to go to the same college but it worked out perfectly. Frat parties weren’t really my thing but ever since Louis joined his frat I have came to every single one. They’re pretty fun but Louis gets shitfaced at every party and I end up having to be the one who drags him back to his room after it.

"Seriously Louis? My hair is all sticky now and I reek of beer." I look down at myself and see my clothes are covered in it too.

"Just go take a shower (Y/N) you know where my room is." Louis insisted.

It was a private campus and a rich one too. Each of the rooms had their own bathroom so there was no need for public showers. Thank God.

"Fine." I retorted. I grabbed my purse and got up angrily. I had to shove past wasted girls grinding against sweaty frat boys and people passed out on the floor. I got to Louis’ room and opened the door, making sure to lock it behind me. I threw my purse on the ground and stripped from my clothes.

The water spurted out freezing water before slowly getting warmer. I just stood there letting it soak my hair and body. Ive always really enjoyed showers when I’m drunk, it kind of sobers me up in a way.

I heard a noise come from the bedroom.

"Louis?" I yelled. No answer.

I ignored it and closed my eyes while the water ran all over my face. Suddenly I felt the glass door to the shower open and two arms wrap around my stomach. I quickly turned around to see Louis. He was looking down at me with the same smug smile. I tried covered myself with my hands, Louis and I were only friends. We have never been sexual let alone seen each other naked.

"What the hell are you doing?" I shouted still trying to cover myself.

"I missed you." I could smell the alcohol still fresh on his breath.

"Louis you’re drunk you don’t even know what you’re doing. You need to leave." It’s not that I don’t find him wildly attractive but I didn’t want him to be making a drunken mistake.

"Baby I’m not drunk. I’ve only had two drinks, I purposely spilled my drink on you. I know it was a dick move but I needed you tonight and I didn’t know how else to ask."

My mind was racing. Here I am with Louis, my best friend since 8th grade, standing naked in a shower. Before I could think of anything to say Louis gently took my arms and guided them away from my body. I was fully exposed. He stood there for a couple seconds just staring at my body while the hot water ran over it. I started to feel my cheeks get red and my mind was racing.

"W-what’s wrong?" I stuttered.

"Nothing. You’re just so God damned beautiful."

And with that he took my arms and pinned them above my head against the shower wall. A moan escaped my mouth. He took a finger and traced my bottom lip before roughly attaching his to mine. Our tongues danced for dominance until his won.

He broke the kiss the get on his knees beneath me. I felt his tongue against to my pussy slowly darting in and out. I grabbed his hair and pushed him further in. He looked up with his blue eyes before roughly attacking my insides again. I felt a tingling in my stomach til I released on him.

Louis stood up and licked his lips. I immediately started sucking on his neck then kissed down to his chest, then stomach, and lower abdomen. When I got down to his dick I sweetly kissed the tip before taking him in my mouth. He was big and I couldn’t fit him all in. So I pumped the rest with one hand and massaged his ass with the other.

"Oh fuck (Y/N) right there. I’ve been waiting for this to happen for the longest time. Ever since I caught you blowing Jason in the closet sophomore year of high school." I bobbed my head faster and he let out a deep moan before cumming in my mouth. I happily swallowed all of it.

Louis grabbed my arms to stand me up again. Attaching his lips to mine once again. He reached behind us
and turned the water off. I felt his arms beneath my legs and back before he carried me to his bed and laid me down on top of the covers, not even bothering to dry off.

I saw him rummaging through his drawer before he pulled out a silver packet and ripped it open with his teeth. He rolled on the condom then walked towards me.

"You ready?" He asked.

I nodded my head, sat up and wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, bringing him on top the bed. We backed up towards the top.

Without breaking eye contact he slowly slid into me. I moaned as filled me before slowly moving in and out.

“Fuck Louis. Faster.”

His eyes filled with lust as he grabbed the headboard and thrusted quickly, hitting my G spot every time. I clawed at his abs leaving red lines down his stomach. This only turned him on more.

"Get on your knees" he instructed.

I got on my hands and knees and he filled me again from behind. Holding my hips and bringing me down on his dick in sync with his thrusts. I felt his fingers digging into my hips.

"Fuck fuck fuck" I felt him speed up before releasing inside me.

"Baby please keep going" I begged.

He flipped us over again so I could ride him. I bounced up and down on his dick. He bit his lip at the sight of my boobs bouncing wildly.

Just the sight of him with his lip sucked in and eyes clenched shut sent me over the edge. I came on his dick before collapsing on his stomach. Laying my head in the crook of his neck.

The room was a comfortable silence with the faint sound of music outside the door.

I kissed his neck and I felt him start playing with my hair and tracing circles on my back. I smiled against his skin.

I propped myself up on my elbows, still laying on top of him, so I could see his face. We both smiled lazy smiles. Just studying each other’s faces.

"(Y/N) you’re something special you know that?" He said grinning ear to ear.

I didn’t say a word but kissed his nose. He suddenly got up, lifting me off of him, and I felt myself panic that I did something wrong.

He crossed the room and threw on a pair of sweatpants before bringing me back one of his tshirts to wear. I slipped it on and was instantly wrapped in his scent.

He climbed back in bed with me and brought me back on top of him again. This time bringing the comforter back over us and wrapping his arms around me.

"Will you stay the night with me?"
He asked kissing the top of my head.

"Of course I will." I replied kissing his bare chest.

He flipped on the tv and we fell asleep that way. Happily tangled in each other, listening to the other breathe.

-hey y’all this is my first time writing so sorry if it’s bad. I am willing to write more if you guys like it. I just need some feed back so leave a message saying what you think!


Personal Experience: Chapter Twenty-Nine

*Colleen’s P.O.V.*

Tour is moving fast, and we’re already half way through. My sessions with Holly are getting better every day; everyone has been taking turns with me in the sessions depending on who is free. I’ve become really good friends with her; despite our age differences. We’ve bonded so well being from the same state, and almost the same town. I’m actually from the most famous town in Pennsylvania. Holly, Nicole and I are watching the boys rehearse; all three of us laughing hysterically at the way the guys act on stage. It’s nice to be able to laugh again; and it to mean something. When they’re on that stage they act as if there’s an entire audience in front of them.

“They’re so funny, and you’re very lucky to have them in your life, Colleen,” Holly whispers to as she watches the guys. Almost in amazement.

“I know… Sometimes it just feels like I’m a burden instead of his girlfriend or their friends…”

“Listen to yourself, Colleen. You’re dating Harry Styles of One Direction. You’re close friends with the rest of the band. You get to tour with them because they want to take care of you. If you were a burden you wouldn’t be here with them, and neither would I.”

I half-heartedly laugh listening to Holly knowing she is right, but I don’t want to talk about that. Besides, my session is over for the day. As I stare at Harry I almost miss my phone ringing. I smile brightly as I see Andrea’s name on the screen. “I have to take this,” I smile walking away, “Hey A and El!”

“Colleen! How are you?! How’s tour going?!” El shouts through the phone. I step further away from everyone else knowing the girls are going to continue to yell.

“It’s great,” I smile to myself. “I can’t believe I get to be here; and I’m not getting anywhere near as much hate as I thought I would…”

“That’s wonderful! Niall finally convinced me to delete my Twitter and I did,” Andrea says.

“Did she, El?”

“Yes, she did! I made sure of it!” I continue to talk to Andrea since El has to get back to studying. I’m really surprised at how she’s handling being separated from Niall for so long. I really miss my girls. I know I have Nicole here with me, but it’s not the same without Eleanor, Andrea and Perrie.

After the call I walk back to the stage to see Niall playing his electric guitar. He proves me once again that he’s a gifted player. Andrea would have fallen in love all over again if she was seeing him now. I catch Harry look at me then he looks at Niall who starts playing “Through the Dark.”

“You tell me that you’re sad and lost your way. You tell math that your tears are here to stay,” Liam says taking me in his arms like the way Harry and I danced at our last dinner. He spins me around the stage. “But I know you’re only hiding, and I just wanna see you.”

Liam passes me off to Louis as Niall sings, “But don’t burn out; even if you scream and shout. It’ll come back to you, and I’ll be here for you.” The guys continue to pass me along dancing the same way, but there’s always a special feeling when I dance with Harry.

But when Zayn’s final line comes up he rest his hands on my shoulder, “And you don’t need to, you don’t need to run. And you will see it’s easy to be loved. I know you wanna be loved.”

At the end of the song Harry picks me up and spins me around as he sings his last verse. “I love you baby girl,” he kisses me in the most loving way.

Tears of joy escape my eyes, “I love you.” I look around him, “I love you guys too!”

“Alright, Love, I have a quick interview that’ll only take thirty minutes. Wait here and I’ll be back soon enough!” he smiles.

“Sure. I’ll be here,” I peck his lips.

“So the blonde one his Niall, right?” Holly says when Harry walks away.

“Yea, that’s Niall,” I smile. “He’s my absolute best friend.”

“It only took me three months to get their names straight,” she laughs. “Even with how much my granddaughter loves them.”

“She’s a fan and you haven’t told her about them?”

“Who says I haven’t?” she laughs. I turn sharply to her. “I haven’t. Doctor patient confidentiality,” she reassures me.

“He’s also dating my other best friend, Andrea.”

“You’ve told me so much about her,” Holly smiles at me. “From what you told me about the two of them I’m surprised they’ve lasted this long.”

“She’s his Princess,” I chuckle. “He wouldn’t want to ever let her go. Where do I begin with the two of them?” I laugh more. “They can be each other’s worst enemies and best friends all at once,” I ramble, “Ever heard the saying ‘opposites attract?’”

“Yea, but never looked much into it.”

“That’s Andrea and Niall. When they fight they fight hard… And when they love they love harder. Which is definitely most of the time. They’re like kids; it’s like you could be having a horrible day, and out of nowhere they’ll start a food fight or pillow fight then forget about your problems for a while. Like when they first came over after the last tour and before they knew anything, I forgot what was going on when they played jokes on each other. Or everyone, for that matter. Even though I set Niall up with Andrea, they set me up with Harry. Although it didn’t go according to plan in the beginning because the day I met him he was an ass.”

“You never told me about when you met him.”

“Yea, I was finishing up my last year at uni and he butted in on my studying while I was at a local coffee shop,” I tell her the entire story; the part the night after and the date through Germany.

“Wow. He must have been in love from the beginning.”

“According to Louis, he wanted to meet me from day one. But Niall never showed him what I looked like…”

“It seems that you and Niall are pretty close. It just seems that all of you are a weird combination. You have Andrea from South Africa with an Irish lad,” she jokes. “You’re from America with a British boy and the rest British.”

“We make it work, though. Harry takes good care of me. Actually, Louis even more. I’m the youngest next to Harry, so they all protect me as if I’m their little sister. Which I guess I am after these three years.”

Holly and I make our way over to the boys after talking for another ten minutes. “Hey guys,” I say as we join Niall, Liam, Louis and Zayn on stage. The four of them taking a break since Harry isn’t with them.

“Hey, Love,” Louis greets pulling me into his lap.

“Louis, what would El say if she saw this?” I laugh. “More importantly, are you sure Harry isn’t going to beat your ass?”

“No,” he rest his head on my shoulder, “I could take him.”

“So. How are the lone rangers keeping up?”

“I’m going crazy without Andrea here!” Niall yells. “It’s really weird not having her around,” he adds more calmly.

“And you?” I face Louis.

“I’m okay, I guess. I think I’m more used to her not being with me the entire time. I know she has school to finish up, and I couldn’t be more proud of here,” he wraps his arms around my waist. I mean, it’s never pleasant not being around her. I love getting to spend time with her, and explore the world with her. But it’s the price we pay having different careers and all.”

“Oh yea, me too! I love to share the different cuisines with A, and go on drinking challenges! Having a beer in every country!” Niall answers looking sad all of a sudden.

“Food and beer. Do you two ever do grown up stuff?” asks Zayn.

Niall looks up at him, “Define ‘grown up stuff,’” he laughs.

“Uh, go out to dinner, events and stuff?! I mean you’re twenty-five, she’s twenty-eight, and the best night out for you two is fighting over an Xbox game,” Zayn stares at him jokingly angry while crossing his arms in front of him. Sarcasm escaping through his words.

“Sorry if our carefree life frustrates you so much. If you must know, yes, from time to time we do partake in ‘grown up stuff’ when need be. We go out to dinner to Nando’s to be exact on a regular basis,” Niall frowns for a moment then speaks again. “Depending on what grown up stuff things you’re talking about because we can also do that,” he winks.

“You dirty little shit,” Louis says laughing pushing me off him all of a sudden to tackle Niall to the ground.

“Well, I think they’re great for each other,” Liam defends Niall. “Niall always wanted a girl that is down to earth, enjoys sports and beers, but can still act like a kid. And he just happened to find her in South Africa.”

“Ahem,” I clear my throat.

“Okay, Colleen found him one from South Africa,” Liam laughs.

“You’ve been leaving out a lot of details,” Holly says. “How did they even meet?”

I laugh back as Niall begins to talk, “Yea, I remember that day like it was yesterday. The day I fell for her. Colleen was supposed to pick her up at the airport alone, but I insisted on going with her. She and her past boyfriend had a really bad break up. Poor girl was absolutely devastated,” Niall continues with his face lighting up.

“And I’ll never understand how they ended up together… I was to pick her up at Heathrow, and since I just moved to the UK Niall begged to come along with me. Which was great because I would have gotten lost anyways,” I chuckle. “The day still didn’t go according to plan. We thought we were late, so Niall ran ahead after we pulled into the loading area. He pulled up his hoodie, and knew the place better than I did. He bumped into Andrea at full speed causing both of them to hit the floor causing Andrea yell ‘Get off me, pervert!’”

“Hey! It’s not my fault you forgot what time her flight was getting in. So I rushed in to make sure someone was waiting for her. I immediately started looking for the girl with the blonde hair and blue eyes,” Niall swoons. “Funny thing was that he literally landed on top of her. I’m pretty sure she was angry at the male race in general that she couldn’t care less who it was. Even me,” he finishes cockily.

“I doubt she’d say that now,” says Nicole.

“She called him all sorts of names that day,” I laugh.

“I didn’t care, though. I was upset because she was upset. I promised me-self that, from that day on, Andrea would never cry again. It was only at Colleen’s place we started to warm up towards each other.”

“If that’s what you call ‘warm up,’” laughs Louis. “More like you charmed her socks off from that day on. You two constantly sneaking around. The secret kisses and cuddling on movie nights.”

Niall innocently laughs brushing his hand through his hair, “Best part is she never went back to that asshole, and promised to stay in London, with us, for the rest of her life.”

“Who would of guessed the South African would get our Niall gushing like this,” Zayn says patting him on the back. We all laugh.

“Hey guys,” I hear Harry smiling like an idiot. I love that he can still do that to me. “What’s the joke?” I turn around to see his handsome face.

“We’re just talking about the day Niall got whipped,” Louis answers.

“I’m not whipped!”

“Dude, after you met her, you drove us crazy when you started writing ‘Why Don’t We Go There,’” Liam chuckles.

“So I felt a little inspired. Besides, why are we even talking about this? Have any of you paid attention to Haz, lately? He’s got it bad.”

“Hey, I don’t want you to be the one that got away. I wanna get addicted to you, yea. You’re rushing through my mind, I wanna feel the high. I wanna be addicted. Don’t say no-oh-oh-oh. Just let go-go-go,” Louis sings Niall’s part teasing Haz and Niall

“At least I can admit that I’m whipped,” Harry says pulling me closer. “And I regret nothing,” he smiles smugly. I’ve been enjoying our chatter that I almost forgot about the nightmares and night-terrors and the texts I’ve been getting lately that make my stomach churn. I check my phone when I feel it buzz against my butt.

Jack: Think you’re so clever touring with your hotshot boy band boyfriend. Remind me to thank you personally when you get back for leaving your two equally beautiful friends at home. They look so peaceful at night when they’re sleeping. The one working in forensics… I can see why her boyfriend is so protective. Don’t even get me started on that wonderful lawyer of yours. Pretty and smart. Have fun…

I start to feel sick to my stomach hearing his voice in my head; I have no idea how he got my number… “Guys, I’m going to lie down for a bit, okay?

“Are you sure, Love? I thought we were all going to get lunch together?” Harry asks; and I hate it when he worries sometimes.

“I’m not hungry! I just want to lie down for a bit, okay?!” I snap at him; regretting it immediately and running back to the hotel.