Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Nine

*Colleen’s P.O.V.*

Tonight is the opening night for the This Is It tour; I still laugh each time I hear it, and all of us are emotionally nervous. The guys are hyper; which is nothing new. We’ve seen them like this before. Niall and Andrea are racing each other on segways, Liam and Zayn with Nicole and Perrie are riding around on golf carts through the arena. Louis and Eleanor are messing around with his skateboard outside the venue, and Harry is trying to escape like always. Honestly, the guys are all over the place; and it’s nothing new to me. I’m even trying to help Paul keep Harry here; little upset that he’s not listening to me. Especially with it getting closer to show time.

In the dressing room, the guys are busy with vocal warm ups and changing while waiting to get their hair done by Lou. Yep, the entire crew is with us again. The girls and I are just joking around making fun of them all. Andrea is trying to fix Niall’s hair since he’s already messed it up. “Don’t touch what you can’t afford,” he teases messing up hers. The guys get their final notice that it’s almost show time, and they have to go. The girls say our good lucks with quick hugs and kisses.

Harry holds me as tightly as possible. “Harry! We have to go!” yells Louis.

“Five more minutes!”

“The show starts in one!”

“I’ll see you after the show, Love,” he kisses me one last time before running off.

“Good luck, Harry!” I yell after him. I listen to them running down the hall excitedly screaming and singing. After that Paul comes to take us to our seats; a private section in front of the VIP area. I’m surprised at how the fans are reacting to us. I’m surprised the guys can still pull in a younger crowd. They ask us for pictures with them, and I really like talking to them. I’m almost tempted to ask Paul to let some of the girls to hang with us.

“COLLEEN!” I hear someone scream. I turn my head to the direction of the voice to see Jesy running over to me.

“Jesy!” I scream back. “What are you doing here?!”

“The guys wanted us to surprise you!”


“Jade and Leigh-Ann are on their way,” she smiles hugging me. The others make their way over pulling me into bone crushing hugs.

“Hi girls.”

“How are you, Colleen?” Leigh-Ann asks. Before the wedding they found out everything. I gave Per permission to tell them since they kept pestering her; and couldn’t get over what I had done to myself.

“I’m doing well. Really well,” I answer as we hold onto each other’s arms smiling.

“And what’s this little one?” Jesy asks pulling my hair to the side. Shit. I widen my eyes gripping my neck.

“It’s… It’s nothing… Really…”

They all shake their heads. “Married life seems to be suiting you,” Perrie says. “How did we not notice this earlier?”

“Maybe it’s because you were too focused on Harry’s,” I stick my tongue out.

“You gave Harry one?” Jade teases.

“Several,” Andrea winks.

“Girls! Stop it,” I whine. They all giggle as I blush pulling my hair back down.

The lights go out and the show finally begins! The guys open with Kiss You, What Makes You Beautiful; some of our favorites. Truly Madly Deeply, Story of My Life and Over Again.

Each time they sing our individual favorite songs we are pulled on stage one by one. Little Things is first for Andrea, and I’m last, like always, as Harry sings Irresistible to me. But when they start singing Better Than Words the five of us lose it. It’s the song we all could never get over when Midnight Memories came out. Niall makes Andrea go crazy when he points to her during his part. Through the Dark follows then Live While We’re Young, One Thing and ends with Best Song Ever.

Louis speaks, “You guys are amazing!”

“We love you all!” Niall shouts.

“Thank you to each and everyone one of you for your support through the years!” Harry screams. “We can’t thank you enough! We will make this the best tour ever!”

“Now,” says Liam calming the crowd. “We hope you like the next song, and the surprise that comes along with it.” The eight of us girls look back and forth between each other confused.

Don’t Forget Where You Belong starts to play and everyone goes crazy. Pictures of us are being displayed on the big screen behind the guys. The photos include our vacation, the weddings, Harry and I at the Little Mix show, the boys with their fans, some of the girls with the fans, our families; and funniest of all, the boys attacking each other at my wedding. I wish I could live that day over and over; I loved how they threw cake at one another, Niall getting drunk off his ass and Andrea not being able to help him since she was as drunk as him. I turn to the girls and they all pull me into their arms. Every embarrassing moment you could imagine is up there; like Harry getting trapped in my pool house, and Louis and Liam playing horrible pranks on the others. As the song continues our boys look straight into our eyes as we all tear up. I can’t believe how far we’ve come with the guys, and this is only the beginning to the rest of our lives.


We aren’t even two weeks into the tour when I realize something. “Harry?!” I yell worried through the hotel room.

“Yes, baby?” I wait until he’s in the same room as me. “What is it?”

“I haven’t gotten my period…” He just stares at me. “Harry! Say something!”

A huge smile spreads across his face, “Oh my gosh, Colleen!” He runs over to me scooping me into his arms then kisses me.

“I’m glad you’re smart enough to know what I meant,” I laugh.

“We have to tell the others!”

“No!” I yell; he looks at me confused. “No,” I shake my head.


“Harry,” I say calmly, “I don’t want anyone knowing unless we’re certain. I don’t know how possible it is; but, you know, it could either be a false alarm, or…”

“Or what?”

“It might not last…”

“You mean like a miscarriage?” he asks a scared.

“Yea. Like a miscarriage…”

“Why would you say something like that?!”

“I don’t know how my body will react to this. I don’t think anything will happen,” I say taking his hands in mine. “But just to be sure. My mom always says that you shouldn’t share the news unless you’re at least four, maybe five, months along. I thought this would be easier to explain,” I sigh.

“O-okay,” he says hesitantly. “Okay,” Harry smiles. “We’ll wait. What should we do about doctors and all? I mean we have to make sure the baby is okay though, right?”

“Right. Maybe we should at least tell Paul. He’ll probably be good at keeping that from the others.”

“And what will our excuse be every time we stop at a hospital?” I laugh.

“We… We could… Maybe… Maybe we can just make it that we’re doing a monthly date night thing!”

“That sounds good,” I laugh wrapping my arms around his chest.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be a father.” I look up at Harry as I rest my chin on his chest. “We’re going to be a family.”

*Five months later*

I can’t believe we’re already halfway through the tour, and I couldn’t be any prouder of the guys. They have accomplished so much in their time as One Direction. I still get a feeling of guilt when I think about how they had to deal with me after the incident; but to also think about how Harry and I are going to be parents makes it feel like nothing ever happened. My scars are barely visible, and my heart is healed.

The baby is doing really well; no signs of any problems. Everyone, as far as we know, thinks Harry and I have been going on monthly date nights through the countries. My doctor meets us at the nearest hospital when it’s time for the next appointment.

“Hey, Love,” Harry walks over to me as I stare into the mirror. “Look at that baby bump,” he laughs placing his hand over my stomach. “You ready to tell them?”

“Yea,” I smile.

Harry and I have asked the guys and the girls to our hotel room. “What’s this about?” Andrea asks.

“Just wait until everyone gets here,” I laugh. Louis and Eleanor are the last to arrive.

“Alright, tell us what’s going on!” Niall yells.

“Colleen and I have some news to share.”

“I’m pregnant,” I get straight to the point.

“Oh my gosh!” Perrie runs over to me. “Why didn’t you tell us earlier?!”

“Because we wanted to make sure that it would last…” I say twiddling my thumbs.

“Why?!” Nicole.

“Just in case,” Harry says calmly. “How do I say this… You’re right, Colleen, this is hard to explain.”

“I think we understand, you two,” Perrie says. The rest of the girls hug me before they start to put their hands on my stomach. “Do you know what the sex is?”

“No. We want it to be a surprise,” answers Harry. “I think it’s a girl, though.”

“I’m hoping for a boy,” I laugh.

“Guys, are you gonna say anything?” Andrea turns to the boys who seem to be in complete shock. They all stare at me.

Louis is the first to speak, “I can’t believe you two are the first to get pregnant out of us all.” Everyone laughs.

“When did this happen?! How far along are you?! Is the baby healthy?!” Liam asks excitedly.

“We think it happened when we were on our honeymoon… We kind of forget to use protection the last night…” I say blushing. “I’m five months along,” I recover.

“And the baby is perfectly healthy,” Harry adds pulling me into him.

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Eight

*Harry’s P.O.V.*

I wake up at six am to get ready for today’s rehearsals. A big part of my life is coming to an end, but a new chapter is just starting for Colleen and me. Before I open my eyes I feel that I’m no longer holding onto her, so she must of been dreaming again. I kiss the top of her head knowing she’ll want to sleep longer. She smiles as I leave the bed dragging my fingers over her skin. I wash up before I head out even though I’ll be sweating horribly today.

I have to meet Niall at his place since we made arrangements last night that we’ll be driving together. When I arrive at his and Andrea’s place I’m greeted by their dog, Hunter, a Jack Russel; or as Andrea calls him, the new addition to their family.

“Hey, boy, where’s the rest of the family?” I greet the pup who barks down the passage as if he’s calling them.

“Hi, Harry,” Andrea smiles coming down the hall.

“Hello, how are you?” I greet her with a hug.

“Always good. Can I get you some tea while you wait for Niall? He’s in the shower/

“I’m not going to say no to a cup of tea,” I follow her to the kitchen.

“HUNTER!” we hear Niall yell as Hunger starts running down the hallway with Niall’s tracksuit pants straight to Andrea, and Niall running after him in only his boxers. I try to hold back laughter until I turn to Andrea nearly snorting and spitting out my tea.  “I’m going to kill that dog,” he grumbles picking his pants up from the floor.

“Try it, mister, and you’ll have to deal with me,” Andrea says as she hands him his cup of coffee.

“How’s Colleen, Harry?”

“She’s doing great,” I answer thinking back to last night smirking to myself.

“What’s that look for, mate?”

Andrea laughs, “I know what that look is.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Where is she?”

“At home, obviously. Probably still sleeping.”

“I wonder why,” Andrea says trying to push the collar of my shirt.

“Hey. Hey!” I say trying not to let her see shoulder.

“How did you get this out of her?!”

“That is none of your business!” I laugh.

“Andrea, let him go. You know you’re able to do the same thing,” Niall wiggles his eyebrows.

“Ha! None of my business, my ass! This is priceless.”

“Are you ready to go?” Niall rescues me from the awkwardness.

“Yea, let’s go, goodbye Andrea.”

“Sorry mate, Andrea’s dropping us off,” Niall says as he picks up his guitar cases. Fuck. I think to myself.

“Well let’s go then.”

Niall picks up a pair of sunglasses from the kitchen table with the keys. “Na uh! Those are my sunglasses, Niall!” she yells.

“Does it matter? Both of ours are black!”

“Yes, it does. You have broken yours a million times already. I just got mine!”

“You two! Can we please go?!” I yell laughing at them. “You two are worse than kids, I tell you.” As Niall locks up I take Andrea around the neck and whisper to her, “Can we keep these marks between us, please?”

“Of course,” she answers with a sly tone. I never trust that tone. I’m doomed. I can tell Andrea has been driving Niall’s car for a while now since we are listening to Lana Del Rey. “Oh, my God, I feel it in the air. Telephone wires above, sizzling like a snare. Honey, I’m on fire, I feel it everywhere. Nothing scares me anymore. Kiss me hard before you go; summertime sadness. I just wanted you to know, that baby, you’re the best,” she sings to Niall causing me to laugh.

“You two are too cheesy.” As the car pulls up to the arena I say, “Finally,” to myself.

“So nice of the two of you to join us,” Louis yells from the other side of the stage.

“Blame these two!” I yell back. Andrea heads straight to Nicole, Eleanor and Perrie. I’m seriously doomed.

“Ni, I’ll see you later, okay?”

“What are you up to, Andrea?” he asks just as concerned as I would.

“Nothing,” she smirks. “El, Nicole, Per and I are just going to get some… Some food. Yes, we’re going to get some food.”

“Oh. then I’ll see you soon. Drive safely,” Niall responds giving Andrea a quick kiss.

“You idiot! Don’ tell me you fell for that?” I slap the back of his head in what Colleen likes to call a ‘Gibbs slap.’

“Dude, the moment she mentioned food, I was sold. She can do whatever she wants as long as she brings back food for me,” Niall laughs.

I turn back to the girls when I see Eleanor coming over from the corner of my eye. She goes straight for Louis to whisper something in his ear; which makes him look at me with a sly grin plastered on his face. Great. I watch the four of them leave the arena trying not to face the guys.

“Are we going to discuss the setlist?” I ask hoping she didn’t tell him what I’m thinking.

“Hmmm, I don’t know mate; my neck is kind of sore. Eleanor and I were having some fun last night,” Louis teases rubbing his neck causing the rest of the guys to laugh.

“Oh, fuck off,” I say punching him in the arm.

“Let’s see it,” Liam joins in on the teasing.

“Colleen will kill me. What happens behind closed doors between her and me stays between her and me. Besides, is this not contradicting the lesson we tried to teach them about the kissing and telling?”

“We’re guys, we do that. They’re just not allowed to.”

“You’re such an ass, Louis. If we’re allowed to do it, so should they. But Colleen at least has the decency to keep that to herself.”

“Says the one who knows she told about playing baseball.” I pull down my shirt anyways.

“Would you look at that?” says Zayn. “You sure know how to get her going.”

“This is priceless!” Louis screams.

“You should have seen what she did to me on our honeymoon,” I chuckle breaking the rules.

I feel my phone go off, and it’s Colleen: YOU SHOWED ANDREA?!??!!!

Me: I’ll get her for this one. She’s observant, that one. You know I wouldn’t have told. And she told the guys, so I’ll be getting them all back.

Colleen: Grrrr now they won’t leave me alone about it.

Me: How do you think I feel?! I told you the guys would rag on me about this one!

Colleen: Ugh! Just don’t tell too much!

Me: I won’t. I promise!

I close my phone. “So, what did she do to you during your honeymoon?” Liam asks.

I laugh, “I’ll keep that one to myself, and let you all think what you must. And what, did Andrea go to get food at my place, Niall?” I ask sarcastically.

“MmMmm,” he shrugs his shoulders.

“You’re such a fucking idiot. The girls are with Colleen. And you can imagine what the topic of discussion will be.” I hit him.


Rehearsal is going well as the girls arrive, with Colleen, back at the arena; food and drinks in hand. Rehearsal is in full swing; Paul and our choreographer have given up once again. Still not sure why they try to give us one after all these years. Josh, Sand, Jon and Dan are messing around as we chill on stage for another break.

“Hey Colleen! Can you please check something out for me? I think I have a bruise on my neck,” Louis teases her.

“Come on guys,” she blushes. “Like you never came to rehearsals with marks of passion on your bodies?” she lightens up. “Niall, do you remember the Kiss You music video? Or would you like me to elaborate?!”

“No, I’m cool,” Niall answers brushing his hand through his hair. All of us look at Niall curious as to what Colleen is talking about; then it hits all of us.

“Oh, yes, I remember now,” I say. “Niall still says he had an itch back and asked Andrea to scratch it. But we all know the truth behind that one. Andrea just returned from visiting her parents in South Africa the day before.”

“Two months apart sure is a long time,” Andrea says.

“Guess you had to make up for long time.”

“Okay. Okay! We’re even!” Niall gives in. After we eat we attempt to rehearse again, and as I walk on stage Liam, Louis, Zayn and Niall turn around with these huge purple and blue marks on their necks. Looks like Andrea and Perrie were having fun with their makeup; Colleen and I being the only ones not laughing. Around one am when we’re finally down to one song to go and then we can go home. Colleen and the girls are sitting on the edge of the stage chatting and looking half asleep. I know exactly what will wake them up. Especially Colleen. I look at the boys and the band, “You know what to play,” I say slyly. The tune to Midnight Memories plays and the girls shoot their heads around to look at us.

I start to sing staring into Colleen’s eyes. “Straight off the plane to a new hotel. Just touched down, you could never tell. A big house party with a crowded kitchen. People talk shh, but we don’t listen.” Colleen gets a devilish grin on her face as she wakes up.

“Tell me that I’m wrong, but I do what I please. Way too many people in the Addison Lee. Now I’m at the age when I know what I need. Oh, woah.”

“Midnight Memories. Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah. Baby you and me, stumbling in the street singing, singing, singing, singing Midnight Memories. Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah. Anywhere we go. Never say no.” Colleen starts dancing the way she did back on the beach as a smile spreads across my face. The girls join her, and go crazy to our music as if they’re hearing the song for the first time; still our biggest fans. “Just do it, do it, do it, do it.”

“Five foot something with the skinny jeans. Don’t look back, baby follow me.”

“I know know where I’m going, but I’m finding my way. Same old shh, but a different day.”

“Tell me that I’m wrong, but I do what I please. Way too many people in the Addison Lee. Now I’m at the age when I know what I need, Oh-Woah!”

“Midnight Memories. Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah. Baby you and me, stumbling in the street singing, singing, singing, singing Midnight Memories. Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah. Anywhere we go. Never say no. Just do it, do it, do it.” Andrea shocks us all when she comes out of nowhere with her guitar, and does this bit with Niall.

He almost forgets his words. “You and me and all our friends. I don’t care how my we spend, baby. This is what the night is for, oooh, woooah.”

“I know nothin’s makin’ sense. For tonight let’s just pretend; I don’t wanna stop so give me more-ore-ore-ore OWE!”

“Midnight Memories. Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah. Baby you and me, stumbling in the street singing, singing, singing, singing Midnight Memories. Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah. Anywhere we go. Never say no. Just do it, do it, do it.” We pant after we finish up the song; not only from singing and running around the stage, but because of watching the girls.

I lick my lips as I stare at Colleen then walk over to her. “I fucking hate it when you do that,” I whisper in her ear causing her to giggle.

“I know you do,” she whispers back.

Angry Make Up Sex.

This is my very first time writing anything like this and I really hope it’s okay(: I had no idea how to make this anonymous so hope no one from school sees this! This is for the one who requested the make up sex with gifs, hope you like it. 


"I’ll see you Monday," I smiled. 
"Yeah, Monday for coffee," Jacob nodded. 
"I’ll be there," I laughed as I walked towards the front door. 

I reached forward, grasping onto the door knob before pulling it open. 
"Niall?" I gasped. "What are you doing here?" I watched as the blonde’s eyes moved to glance behind me. 
"Who’s that?" He ignored my previous question. 
"That’s Jacob," I introduced. "Jacob, this is Niall."
"It’s nice to meet you," Jacob held out his hand. Niall kept his right hand firmly in his pocket, glaring at Jacob. "Right," Jacob laughed. "So Monday, don’t forget!" He said one last time, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek before heading out. 

"Why are you here?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. 
"I came to talk to you, but I see you obviously moved on," he laughed. 
"What’s so funny?" 
"Nothing, nothing at all," Niall smiled as he walked into my house. "I just thought I knew you better," he shrugged, kicking the door closed behind him. 
"Excuse me?" 
"Well I just assumed you weren’t some slut who hooked up with a guy two days after a break up," Niall stared at me. "But I was wrong." 
"How dare-"
"I mean it took three whole months to get you to sleep with me!" He yelled. "I didn’t know after you lost your virginity you would become such a whore." 
"Niall what the hell is wrong with you!" I screamed. "How dare you say those things about me!" I pushed him back. "First of all, you broke up with me! You have no right to even be here right now!" I pushed him harder until he hit the door behind him. 

"I bet he was only here because you missed me," Niall scoffed. 
"Absolutely not!" I laughed. 
"Oh really?" Niall smirked. "Did he kiss you like this?" 

Before I could even blink, I was pushed against the wall as Niall’s lips attached to mine. 

I immediately gripped onto his shoulders, pulling him into me and deepening the kiss. My hands wrapped around his neck, running my fingers through his hair as we continued to kiss. His tongue ran across my bottom lip, asking for entrance. Opening my mouth, I allowed his tongue to roam my mouth as I did to his. 

"He was better," I pulled away breathlessly.

Niall growled, moving away from the wall as he pressed his lips back to mine. His hands ran down my sides, reaching down to my thighs and lifting me up.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, allowing him to carry me to what I could only assume to be the bedroom. 

I knew damn well what was about to happen and I wasn’t even going to try and stop it. Niall may have only broken up with me two days ago, but I missed him. I missed his touch, his kiss, his competitiveness. 

"I’m going to fuck you so hard you’re not even going to remember that twat’s name," Niall smirked as he placed me onto my feet. I reached for the bottom of his t-shirt, pulling it off before speaking. 
"Yeah, we’ll see," I scoffed.

Niall’s smirk only grew as he pushed me back onto the bed. 

A cocky smile grew on my lips as he began to crawl over my body, dipping his head to meet his lips with mine once more. I sighed in content as he started to grind his lower half against mine, my body automatically moving against his as I felt the bulge begin to form in against his jeans.

A small whimper escaped my lips as his fingers slipped into the band of my shorts, stroking against my covered heat. “I know he didn’t make you this wet,” he growled in my ear. “You’re soaking through your panties, babe.” 

"I was thinking about Jacob," I smiled.

"You lying little slut," Niall’s teeth grazed my neck. His hands reached the bottom of my shirt, ripping the buttons off as he pulled it open. "Tell Jacob he owes you a new shirt," Niall smirked. I pulled the remains of my shirt off of my body, along with my bra, before staring up at Niall. "I will on Monday," I said. 

"You’re not even going to remember who he is in about ten minutes babe," Niall huskily whispered above me. 

His lips began to trail down my neck, over my chest and down my stomach, causing goose bumps to raise. I placed my hands over my mouth so quiet the moan that was about to escape. Niall’s eyes continued to watch me, his lips traveling down to my covered heat.
"Let me hear you," Niall pulled my arms away. His lips attached to my covered folds, licking me over my panties as his eyes bore into mine.

"Niall," I whispered. 
"Hmm?" He hummed against me. 
"Stop teasing me you ass," I groaned, lifting my hips to meet his mouth.

He pulled away. Pulling the only clothing I had left off of me, leaving me bare in front of him. “God you’re beautiful,” he whispered to himself. A proud smile was glued onto his lips as he stared down at me. 

Niall stepped onto the floor, gripping onto my legs and pulling me towards him. “I’m going to make you feel so good baby,” he whispered. His lips began to leave kisses across my inner thighs, before landing onto me. Pulling my legs over his shoulders, he began to lick over my slit. “Niall,” I whispered. I pushed my hands through his hair, pushing his head closer to me as I bucked my hips towards his tongue. 

I felt the warmness begin to build in the pit of my stomach, my climax building as Niall continued. “Oh god Niall!” I moaned, my back arching as I knew I was close. I pulled my hands away from Niall’s hair, covering my mouth as I began to orgasm. 

"Niall!" I shrieked against my hands. My body began to shake, my legs pulling away from Niall in an attempt to close. 

"We’re not done yet," Niall pushed them apart. 

He crawled above me, pressing his lips to mine in a sweet kiss. 
He pulled away, taking off his pants and boxers in one swift movement. His lips landed on top of mine again, kissing me roughly yet passionately at the same time. His lips danced down my neck before finding their way to my breasts. 

He began to massage my breast, my nipples growing hard before he placed his lips over them. I reached down, wrapping my hands around Niall’s thick cock, pumping it a few times as he moaned. 
"Fuck," he groaned. 

I flipped us over, straddling his hips before kissing him. I pushed his penis down, slowly gliding him across my slit as I continued to kiss down his chest. 

"Fuck, y/n." I bit his neck lightly, sucking on his sweet spot. 

I sat up straight, lining my self up with him, before slamming down.
"Oh fuck!" Both of us moaned as I continued to ride him. 

"God I missed your cock," I moaned more to myself. 
"Remember that," Niall groaned. "No one-no one can please you like I can," he spoke breathlessly. 
"Mhmm," I nodded. 

I was quickly flipped onto my back, Niall now hovering over me. 
"No one," he emphasized. "No one can fuck you this well," he slammed into me. 

"Niall!" I shrieked as he began to his my g-spot with each thrust. 
"No one can make you scream that loud!" He yelled. 

I watched as the bead of sweat began to form on his forehead.

I scraped my nails down his back, feeling the sensation begin to build again. 

"Niall," I moaned. 

His thrusting began to get sloppy, his moans began to get louder. 
"Niall," I breathed. "Fuck Niall." 
"Come, y/n," Niall whispered in my ear. "Fuck," he groaned. 

His head dipped down, resting in the crook of my neck.
I began to pulsate around his cock, my breathing becoming erratic as I moaned his name repeatedly.  

"Shit, y/n," Niall moaned and with one final thrust, I felt him fill up inside me.

"God I missed you," Niall laughed breathlessly as he collapsed next to me.
"I missed you too," I smiled. 

His arm wrapped around me, pulling me into him as he held me close. “I love you,” he whispered into my hair. 
"I love you too," I kissed his chest. 

"Oh and Ni?" I smiled. 
"Jacob’s my cousin." 
"Of course he is," Niall laughed. His lips pressed against mine one last time before we both fell quickly asleep.

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Seven

*Harry’s P.O.V.*

It’s the album release party tonight; another formal event with lots of flashing lights, paparazzi and a press conference. I can tell Colleen is nervous, but I think that’s really just an understatement. She has to walk the red carpet with me tonight; the first time we’ll be at a big advent as husband and wife. Tonight, Colleen and I arrive in my black Ferrari F1 California. I help her out of my amazing sports car since she’s wearing a ball gown; an emerald green off-shoulder evening dress, and from what I heard, it took her a while to find the perfect dress for tonight, and it was well worth it. It’s her favorite color, shows her breast well without revealing too much, and it poofs out at a perfect width. I smile at her reassuringly as she takes my hand. The guys and I wanted this to be big; so we’re all dressed up. The other girls are also in extravagant ball gowns while the guys are all in tuxes. Go big or go home we all joked.

As the flashes go off around us Colleen’s grip on me tightens; this will take a long time for her to get used to. My hand never leaves her waist as we walk along the red carpet into the venue. I can tell she has many thoughts going through her head. Most likely the same as mine. What if they ask me about her and her past? What if they ask us why the last tour was cancelled? “It’s alright, Love. You know I won’t let them hurt you,” I say kissing her head.

Eleanor, Perrie, Nicole, Andrea and Colleen sit at the closest table to the stage for the press conference. The rest of the building is filled with a lot of security, some lucky fans who won tickets or who could afford them because the guys and I wanted to make it up to the fans.

We finally announce that we’re going on a farewell tour; “This Is It.” The girls like to joke it’s a bit of irony after our movie came out a few years ago. A huge commotion breaks out when I make the announcement.

“Can you tell us why this will be your last tour?!” one of the paparazzi yells over the gasps throughout the crowd.

“Well, we’ve been doing this for ten years now,” Liam answers calmly. “We would like to settle down with our wives. Myself and the rest of the guys will still be heavily involved with music, productions and record deals, but behind the scenes.”

“Does the fact that you are married now have any influence on your decision?” another asks.

“Yes, Liam just said that,” Louis answers. “But we can assure you that the group of lovely ladies in our lives is our support system, and they will support us in whichever way we chose.”

“Niall, your wife-“

Niall immediately cuts them off, “Andrea.”

“Very well then. Andrea, is older than you. Did she influence you at all to go with this decision the band has just announced?”

“First off, I don’t see what our wives personal lives or ages have to do with our final concert dates. Everyone already knows she is older than me. Next question?” Niall answers very pissed off.

“So cancelling the last concert, a three month vacation in Fiji and indefinite stays in Ireland had nothing to do with any of the girls lives?”

“Look, this party is to promote our new album and tour. All we hope is that the fans enjoy the new album as much as we enjoyed recording it,” I change the subject. “We have big things planned for this tour. This is our way of thanking our fans for their loyalty through the years.” I’m pissed as well.


The rest of the night is full of giggles, drunkenness and dancing. A lot of dancing. Colleen has opened back up more, so she’s having a little fun while on the dance floor with me. Given her dress, she’s still able to get a good reaction out of me. Even with the paps around, I don’t care what they say at this point; we’re husband and wife, and we can do what we want.

“You ready to go?” I ask Colleen around midnight.

“Yea,” she smiles. My car is brought around us, so we head home.

Once home Colleen heads straight for our room with my guess being to get out of her dress. I stare at her as she sways her hips over to the bathroom; but before she gets too far I place my hands on her shoulders. I turn her around to look into her eyes, and she stares right back; all I can see is love.

“No bra?” I question after unzipping her dress; I dance my fingertips along the skin of her back.

“No room,” she chuckles.

I gently place my lips on hers; them molding perfectly together like always. Every time we kiss I still get butterflies in my stomach; as wimpy as that sounds for a man. I smile as I begin to walk us over to the bed; her bed. I pull apart causing her to whimper. “What? We can’t do this while I still have my tux on, now can we?” I wink.

“I guess not,” she giggles.

Once I’m undressed down to my boxers I pull her tightly against me. I stare at her hungrily with a bit of want. We take turns sliding each other’s underwear off; then I pick her up and spin her around before we plop onto the bed. She presses her lips back against mine; a feeling that is completely indescribable to me. I place one hand on her breast and knead it while putting the other on her hip. As if routinely, I reach for the bedside table taking a condom from the drawer. I let her roll it on. “I’ve always liked when you do that,” I say pulling her hair out from the clip. I line myself up with her entrance, but tease a bit before entering her; this causing her to moan.

Once in I rock my hips into hers moaning her name; so she smiles at me. We stare into each other’s eyes. Colleen pulls me by my shoulders back down to her, and attacks my neck. She sucks on it in a slow way that I never knew could turn me on; I increase my speed.

"Harry," she breathes out releasing her grip from me. I drop my head into the crook of her neck, and when I pull back I smile at her then place my head between her breast, and kiss slowly back up to her neck. Once I reach her neck I find her sweet spot between her jawline and neck. I move my lips back to hers, and slip my tongue in when she moans again; closing her eyes.

"Keep your eyes open, love, I want to see them when you come," I tell her as she gets closer to her climax. She keeps them open while I thrust my hips into hers; slow and deep. My name once again rolls off her lips, so I kiss them, and Colleen kisses me back with passion. It’s a wonderful feeling when we make love. She means absolutely everything to me; an unconditional love between the two of us.

I feel her tightening around me, but I want us to come together, so I place my hand on my shaft, and start to pump faster. I moan out her name right before we come. She is panting heavily while I hold myself above her. I pull out, but continue to hold myself above her; looking deeply into her eyes. I kiss her forehead, and then fall next to her.

"I love you, Colleen," I breathe.

"I love you too, Harry," she says, "You are my everything."

I laugh, “I was just thinking the same thing,” I smile then kiss her once more. The two of us cuddle chest to chest not saying anything. Our arms are wrapped around each other as a few kisses are passed between us before we decide to go again.

“Can we try something different, Harry?” Colleen asks.

“Like what?” I respond confused.

“I don’t know… Like maybe a different position?” I look down to see her blushing.

“What did you have in mind?”

She stays quiet; so I patiently wait for her to answers. “Wha-what if I try top?”

I chuckle pulling her closer to me; not thinking we could get any closer, “I wouldn’t mine.”

“Will you guide me?”

“Of course,” I take her lips into mine. Before I pull Colleen on top of me I put on another condom. Keeping my hands on her waist I guide her down onto me. We both moan still sensitive from a little while ago. The pleasure is still as great as ever.

“Ah,” she groans.

“Just roll your hips like you did back on the dance floor,” I wink at her. Colleen listens; beginning to rock her hips. “You can also move up and down.” I hold tightly onto her waist helping her slide on and off. I leave one hand on her hips and slide the other one up to her chest. I look at her to make sure it’s still alright; she nods her head. I wrap my hand around her breast as she continues to move. I remember the first time we grinded together, and I was in complete shock never knowing a girl who could move like her.

“Ha-Harry,” my name rolls off of her lips. Colleen’s hands fall onto my chest as she tries to hold herself up.

“Fuck, baby,” I moan. I start to thrust upward into her; making her feel as good as she is making me feel. “Oh my God,” I groan. I lift her up then slam her back down.

“Ah!” Colleen’s groan is a little louder. She’s getting the hang of it when she nearly pulls off the whole way then comes back down harder than before. Her nails dig into my skin as she starts to move faster. Her hips move perfectly against mine; grinding harder than before. I honestly can’t believe this is happening. I thought it would have taken her a lot longer to get the feel for this. Not being able to just stare at her any longer I sit up pressing my lips against hers. I slide my hands to her bum squeezing it. “Fuck,” she swears making me laugh against her lips.

“I love this feeling,” I pant as we continue to move our hips together. “The feeling of being in you.” She groans wiggling her hips. I slide my lips to her neck adding another hickey. She wraps her hands around my shoulders before she bites into my neck. “You just looove to make it easy for the guys to rag on me, don’t you?” I say against her skin; Colleen only giggles. I begin to twitch inside her knowing she isn’t close yet. I moan her name loudly as I orgasm.

Before she gets the chance to get off I roll her onto her back so that I’m on top again. I thrust into her harder than before so I can get her to her climax. “Ha- Oh, Harry.” I press my thumb to her clit getting a louder moan from her. I feel her tighten around me.

“Let it go,” I whisper in her ear, and she does. Our bedroom is filled with our loud pants. “God, I love you so much,” I kiss her.

“I love you too,” she laughs while pushing the hair out of my face. I roll off of her then discard of this condom.

“Never expected that from you,” I breathe heavily. Colleen doesn’t say anything; she looks like she’s about to fall asleep. “Hey, let’s get a shower before you fall asleep,” I laugh.

“I don’t want to move,” she whines.

“Come on,” I chuckle again lifting her up bridal style from the bed. Colleen leans against me as we stand in the shower together; the water cascading over our bodies. We stay in the shower for as long as possible before she falls asleep. “Pjs or none?” I ask after we step back into the bedroom.

“Doesn’t matter,” she mumbles. I shake my head smiling to myself as I pull out one of my shirts and a pair of her underwear. As soon as she’s dressed she hits the bed, my bed, and falls sound asleep. I crawl in on my side pulling her close to me as possible before I fall asleep nuzzling into her neck.

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Six

*Colleen’s P.O.V.*

Time has gone by so quick, and the honeymoon was amazing. Harry had me pampered with couples massages and wraps in a private suite. My skin and muscles have never felt better. Even though we only had sex twice, we were still being mischievous around the island. I couldn’t be any happier knowing I had married the love of my life. Even though it took three or four years for it to happen, anyone could tell that Harry and I are happy; and everyone else too.

Despite all the obstacles we have faced, as a group, this year, we made it through it all. As soon as we get back to our house after our daily stroll through the park Harry’s phone begins to ring. “Hello?” he puts it on speaker.“ANDREA IS GRADUATING!” he yells through the phone like a proud father.

Andrea has been studying to become a Certified Crime Scene Investigator when she met Niall. She had to skip a few months when she went on tour for a bit, and only after the incident with Jack and after their marriage did she start studying full time again. She has been waiting so long for this, and I’m thrilled for her.

We were all invited to the graduations, but only Louis, Eleanor, Niall, Harry me and Maura can make it to her Graduation at the British Academy of Forensic Science. Unfortunately, Andrea’s parents can’t make it along with Perrie, Zayn, Nicole and Liam.

“I am so proud of you,” I congratulate Andrea.

“Always knew you were a nerd,” Harry teases.

“Be careful Harry,” Andrea retorts, “I can hurt you, or kill you, and make it look like Barney did it.” Harry steps behind me.

“There she is,” Maura comes over to hug Andrea.

“Maura, so nice to see you! I missed you guys so much!”

“We missed you too, dear. Chris, Greg, Denise and Theo send their love; and they wish they were here.”

“Thank you,” Andrea smiles.

“Tell me dear, how’s that son of mine treating you?”

“Mom, do you ever wonder how she treats me?!” Niall teases.

“Sweetie, how could anyone ever treat you badly?” Maura jokes causing us all to laugh. Of course the paparazzi just had to be here; just like at my wedding. They still cause me to freak a little and hold onto Harry’s hand even tighter.

“Love, they will always be around; nothing we can do about it,” Harry says comforting me after he feels me tense up. I loosen my grip wishing that it would all just go away.

“So now that you are a Certified Crime Scene Investigator, I thought you might like this,” Louis says as he gives Andrea a velvet box. As she opens it she smiles when she see the Ray-Ban Aviator Classic Sunglasses.

“Ha, ha. Very funny you two,” Andrea says as she hugs them.”

“That way you can do that dramatic ‘this is a crime scene’ pose,” Louis chuckles.

“We’re so proud of you,” Eleanor smiles.

“I couldn’t be any more proud of her. It wasn’t easy; late night studying, the arguments and frustration finally paid off. I’m proud of you, Princess. I mean it,” Niall says as he pulls Andrea in for a kiss.

“Oh stop it, you two,” Louis pretends to be disgusted. As the ceremony stars all of us take seats in the third row so we don’t strain our necks. Niall acts as if it’s his child graduating kindergarten. Harry and I laugh at him trying to calm him down. Andrea stands on stage laughing more than ever because Niall keeps pulling funny faces at her; which she occasionally returns. I end up hitting him in the back of the head a few times. After about thirty minutes they call Andrea’s name.

“Graduating from the British Academy of Forensic Science,” says the head professor, “Is Andrea Samantha Horan on the levels of three, CCSI, level six, CCSA and a degree in Forensic Anthropology.” Niall jumps out of his chair cheering causing Maura and myself to jump a bit; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this proud in his life. Flashes begin to go off after Niall screams; which scares the audience. We were found by the paps even in the dark. I knew they were here, but I can’t believe they were allowed in here! It pisses us all off; who gives them the right to invade our privacy? Stealing pictures of our special events. I try my hardest to ignore them focusing on Andrea; she looks so beautiful in her dress; something she rarely wears. I think it’s only the third time I’ve ever seen her in a dress.

“Excuse me,” we all hear a young voice coming from behind Louis, “Mind if we take some pictures?” It’s a couple of younger girls.

“Of course not; it’s a special day for us after all,” Louis answers; sarcasm clearly being heard. Andrea, Eleanor, Maura and I all step back laughing because of how Louis reacts anymore.

“Andrea!” we hear being yelled across the room. “You never told me you were married to a pop star. I’m hurt; after all our mishaps in the lab and being lab partners for so long!” a dark haired guy laughs with Andrea. (The guy looks like Greg Saunders from CSI). He joins our group then throws his arms around Andrea. She freezes rolling her eyes. He seems like he’s drunk.

“Uh, Josh, hi, this is Colleen, Eleanor and my mother-in-law, Maura,” she introduces us stepping away from him.

“Hi,” we all greet him together; not impressed.

“Ah, the lovely Mrs. Styles and Mrs. Tomlinson. I’ve read so much about you two ladies. Mrs. Horan, can I just say your son is one lucky man? No wonder Andrea never fell for my charm,” he laughs. “She was married all this time, but I never noticed the ring? Why didn’t you mention this? And that you would be bringing them here? My lab partner is married to a pop star, who would have guessed? The stories I could have shared!”

“It’s kind of hard not to notice a ring like this,” Eleanor takes Andrea’s left hand showing it to Josh; clearly annoyed.

“And what if she told you? A juicy story to sell, wouldn’t it be?” I snap annoyed at him and the paparazzi.

“Calm down girls,” Maura tries to speak.

“This is where you run along and go play with your lab toys,” Andrea says sarcastically shooing him.

Later this evening, we go out to dinner to celebrate at La Chapelle; and at the celebration dinner the guys share some news with us; they will be announcing a farewell tour where they’ll sing all of their greatest hits. A tour taking them around the world. And we all get to travel with them; Eleanor, Nicole, Andrea, Perrie and myself.

“What made you guys decide this?”

“I guess it’s just that there’s stuff we still want to do,” says Harry, “I’m still going to be involved with music, always. But behind the scenes. I think it’s time to call it a day while we still can.

“Same here,” Niall says, “I will write songs and produce music. But I also think it is time. Since Andrea and I got married, we hardly have time together with her studies and us finishing up that last tour was hard. I don’t want me children growing up too scared to go outside.

“Besides, Niall and I already bought a property five miles outside of Mullingar” Andrea shocks us all.

“What? You two are leaving us?” I ask upset.

“No one said anything about leaving. We’re keeping the loft in London, but when A and I start a family, we’ll be sure to move to Ireland.”

“Listen to you two being all grown up,” Liam teases, “Marriage sure has its perks.”


For the next few days the girls and I decide to take some time out of our schedules to catch up while the guys are busy recording their last album for now. Perrie will still be continuing as a girl group member while the rest of us career women focus on ours. I even got back to working at the kennel. I missed it so much; and it was great to know my employees missed me. We all missed hanging out with our husbands, and now is the time to do it.

Tonight is the night before the album release party, so everyone is over for dinner and mine and Harry’s house. I go to the store to some stuff for the evening. But a few magazines have pulled my attention away from shopping. They’re covered with my wedding pictures and Andrea’s graduation. I shake my head knowing this will never end. I put both into my basket before I check out. The one with my wedding pictures even has an article claiming that my personal issues got in the way of the last tour; I don’t even know how that was figured out. If it’s even the real one. The other one has Andrea’s graduation and wedding pictures on the cover insinuating that Andrea forced Niall into marriage. I head straight home once I get in my car.

It’s around six pm when, as usual, Niall and Andrea arrive first; still as crazy in love as the last time I saw them. After Nicole and Liam arrive the rest are shortly to follow. The guys are outside on the patio while the girls and I sit around the kitchen table; full glasses of wine in our hands. We chat up a storm like always; sharing secrets and of course teasing each other like sisters. They’ve all become my sister in the last couple of years, and we definitely have a close bond with each other. Every single one of them brings their own uniqueness to the friendships we share.

Perrie and I are definitely the backbone of the group. We take on the guys if it’s needed. Eleanor is the beauty with the brains; not that I’m saying that the other girls don’t have brains. Andrea was the supportive hippie; always putting others need in front of her own. She believes everyone has good in them. Stubborn at times and strong willed. A lover, not a fighter. Mention Larry and she is ready to go to war. El has always had a logical way of doing things, and she sure knows how to handle Louis. If I didn’t have Eleanor by me I don’t know how I would have made it through this summer. I know I have the other girls, but Eleanor really share something special. Nicole is a sweetheart; I’ve never really seen her weak. Even with the drama that happens between her and the fans.

“I’ve got something to show you girls,” I say as I go to get the magazines.

“Colleen,” El whines, “I thought we talked about this? I thought you weren’t going to let the gossip upset you?” she grabs them from me.

“I know, and I’m sorry, but I had to share it.”

“Oh, that’s bullshit,” Perrie yells as she reads the article about me.

“Andrea, how dare you force our sweet Niall into marriage,” Eleanor teases as she holds the magazine for us all to see.”

“I don’t know El. Guess I was so insecure, and just wanted to get my hands on his fortune. Makes sense to force him,” she laughs.

“What’s going on in here?” Harry speaks as the rest of the guys stand behind him with concern looks on their faces.

“Girls, I thought we talked about this?” Louis says as he and Zayn take the magazines from us. Niall, Harry and Liam look at us shaking their heads while we all slump into our seats. Other than the magazines, the rest of the night goes well. Jokes and a lot of stories to share with a lot of laughter.

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Five

A/N: It’s an exciting chapter, everyone ;)

*Harry’s P.O.V.*

Through the drive I hold onto Colleen wondering what could possibly be in the bag. I have a good idea though. After we board the plane Colleen asks, “Where are we going, Harry?”

I figure I should tell her before the flight attendants say it. I laugh, “We are headed to Greece. The Mystique Resort Santorini.”

“I’ve never heard of that.”

“Then you’re in for a great time,” I smile kissing the back of her hand. The flight from JFK to Santorini feels like an entire day; that’s why I wanted to leave right after the reception. Colleen and I fall asleep around the same time; our fingers intertwined.

I wake up to the sound of the flight attendant saying, “Attention ladies and gentlemen we are reaching our destination; the plain will be landing in about twenty minutes. Please return your seats to the upright position and fasten your seatbelts.” I gently wake Colleen telling her we’re almost here.

It’s now near three am here, and since we’re going to be jet lagged for a while, I booked us a two week trip, and when we’re done here we’ll be heading back to London. A car is waiting for us once we exit the plane, and even though Colleen is tired I can tell how excited she is. She becomes even more tired after the drive. I hold her up as we walk into the hotel, “Styles,” I tell the front desk.

“Yes, here we are. A Spiritual suit; two keys for the room and one for the minibar.”

“Thank you,” I smile. “Can you make it to the room, Love?” I ask Colleen.

“I’ll try,” she smiles. The room is amazing. “It’s so beautiful here,” Colleen whispers.

“Still not as beautiful as you.”

“Still a cliché.” As usual, no matter how tired she is, Collen heads to the terrace, and she is taken aback. “Gosh, this is gorgeous.”

I wrap my arms around her from behind kissing the top of her head. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“Mmk,” she hums.

I pull back the sheets before the two of us hop into the bed. I pull Colleen into me taking in the familiar scent of her body, “Goodnight, Mrs. Styles.”

“That’s going to take some time getting used to,” she giggles. “Goodnight, Mr. Styles.” I kiss the back of her head before falling into a deep sleep.

After we wake up we head to the Charisma Restaurant that is hosted by the hotel. Then we head out to the Archaeological Museum located in the center of Fira. The museum gives you an idea of different eras of development of the island. It’s a beautiful collection of red and black vases from 5 B.C. The museum has many items, products, Minoan impressives, murals and sculpture of the Hellenistic period. Byzantine works of art and even some remains of prehistoric times. These items have survived the era of Geometric and Hellenistic periods.

Colleen’s eyes light up just like they did when we toured the castles of England and Cathedrals of Germany. I take her hand in mine then smile at her when she looks at me. “You always know how to impress a girl.”

“Anything for you, Love,” I kiss her. “Come on, there’s a tour I want to go on.” We’re guided throughout the museum learning different things. Pure joy emits off of Colleen. I remember the way she used to tell me about her art projects from high school and college. She wasn’t a serious artist, but her work is amazing; many paintings of dogs hang in her dog kennel. Pit Bulls, Cocker Spaniels, Pugs. Pit Bulls. Mostly Pit Bulls. She’s like a child when it comes to art.

Our next stop is the Mnemossyne Artist House In Oia, Greece. It’s a house where you can find a unique variety of fine art, photography and jewelry. Most of the pieces in here are handmade by local artists. The gallery has a harmonic atmosphere in an elegant cave house located a few steps before the famous sunset spot in Oia. So naturally we watch the sunset off the coast of the island of Greece.

We leisurely make our way back to the hotel; her hand on my leg as her thumb lazily runs over the jeans that cover my leg with just enough pressure to relax me. Once back to the hotel I carry Colleen piggyback to our room. She messing with my arms as we get closer; making it difficult to open the door. “Hey, hey!” I laugh. Another giggle escapes her lips. “Come on, come on now, do you want to get into the room or not?”

“Yea,” she laughs. She hops down from my back. “Come and get me,” she winks before running through the room.

“Oh, so we’re playing now, are we?” She laughs again. I get her cornered in the bedroom. “Gotcha,” I smile taking her lips in mine. Her hands wrap around my neck and her legs around my waist. I stumble backwards to the bed falling with her landing on top of me. “So, what do you think so far, Mrs. Styles?”

“It’s wonderful.” We make out more with our hands roaming each others body. This is the night we planned for. The night I have honestly been waiting for. I slide my hands to the front of her shorts slowly unbuttoning them. And there’s no hesitation in my actions. She unbuttons my top in a slow gesture. It’s almost as everything is in slow motion; lips moving perfectly in synchronization.

I’m confused as she slides off of me and begins to strip; something I never thought she would do. I take her waist in my hands, and pull her in between my legs once she’s fully naked. I first place my lips on her neck since that’s her favorite place to be kissed. I lower them to her chest then her stomach. I slowly run my nose between her perfect breast sending chills down her body. I found that she’s not very found of her nipples being sucked, so instead I leave a hickey at the top of her left breast. Once my mark is left I say, “You’re so beautiful, Colleen.” She finishes ridding me of my shirt by pushing it off of my shoulders. Once our clothing is gone she hops back onto the bed in a playful manner. I pull us under the covers, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Colleen smiles. I roll a condom on then pull out the bottle of lubricant. “What’s that for?”

“You may write about sex, but you seemed to have forgotten that you’re still a virgin. We might need this.”

“Oh,” she laughs.

I squeeze the lube into my hand then rub it over my cock. “You ready?” I ask when I’m done, and she nods. “Tell me to stop if it hurts, okay?”

“Okay,” she smiles.

I stare into her eyes as I enter her; feeling she’s a little tight. Colleen digs her nails into my shoulders. Her hair cascades over the pillow, and she looks absolutely amazing laying under me like this. Her face tenses up, so I stop and wait a couple minutes. I go in further, “It’ll be okay, Love,” I reassure her kissing her cheeks. I take her lips in mine as I fill her up more.

“O-okay,” she breathes against my lips. I gently roll my hips into hers keeping myself propped on my elbows by her head. I place my face in the crook of her neck; biting and sucking at it. The room begins to be filled with moans as she gets used to the feeling.

“Co- Oh fuck, Colleen,” I breathe into her neck.

“H-Harry,” she moans. I press my lips to hers; swiping my tongue against her bottom lip. She parts like usual and allows me to slip my tongue inside her mouth. She fights for dominance as I expected her to. I smile into the kiss as I continue to rock my hips against hers.

I remove my mouth from hers trailing kisses from her jaw to her neck. I kiss her skin slowly before I begin to suck on her neck once more. Another moans leaves her mouth; a low, “Fuck.” I laugh knowing she doesn’t swear that much. I begin to grunt as I pick up the pace a little bit more. I lower my head between her breast then suck at the skin atop of her left one again earning another moan. I love seeing her like this.

I can feel myself getting closer to my orgasm. “Give… Give me a few more… Few more… Minutes,” she gasps. “Ah, fuck,” she swears again. I place my hand in-between us, and push my fingers against her clit since I can’t last much longer. Colleen’s hands slide to my biceps; digging her nails into the skin there. She starts to tighten around me; closing her eyes, “Open your eyes. I want to stare into them when you orgasm, Love.” She opens her eyes right before we both finally orgasming. At the same time. I slow down my thrust as we come down from our highs. I stare into her eyes smiling; never feeling any better. She takes my lips into hers before I pull out.

I discard the condom as we catch our breaths. Once back on the bed I pull her into my arms, and she places her head on my chest; drawing random shapes on my stomach. I mindlessly run my thumbs over her arms. I look at my arms to see what the damage report is. “Fuck, Colleen, your nails are sharp,” I laugh. “The guys aren’t going to let me live this one down.”

Colleen giggles against my chest, “Sorry.” I don’t have to see her face to know she’s blushing.

“Nothing to be sorry about, Love.” I squeeze her to me. I hear the familiar deep sigh come from her lips knowing she’s about to fall asleep. “Goodnight, Love.”

“Goodnight, Harry,” she mumbles. I can’t believe I finally got to do this with her. Something I have been waiting to do for the longest time. The covers fell as we made love, and I haven’t pulled them back up. I just stare at her naked body; it’s everything I imagined and more. It’s actually the first time I’ve seen her fully naked; no bra on. After another hour of admiring her body and continuously replaying our first time, I finally begin to fall asleep.

The next morning I wake up with empty arms hearing the shower running. I slowly get out of the bed to make my way to the bathroom. Colleen is humming lowly when I enter the bathroom. She smiles at me as I enter the shower with her. We don’t make anything sexual about this; just my arms wrapped around her making out here and there.

Today we decide to relax by the pool. There aren’t many people sharing the pool with us, so Colleen immediately gets in. Like always, she is wearing one of her superhero bikinis; this time Supergirl. It’s not a very big pool, but it is nice. We swim around trying not to disturb the other guest. Giggles occasionally escape her lips while we joke around.

It’s our final night here in Santorini, so we share the shower once more. She’s not sore anymore, and she said she wants to go again since it is our honeymoon. I peck her lips a few times and graze my nose against hers. My hands touch almost every inch of her body; never getting enough of it. I leave my hands on her waist; rubbing my thumbs over her pelvic bones, and she giggles. I stare into her eyes as I move my hand in-between her legs. She wiggles a bit at my touch; a smile spreading across her lips.

I slowly move my fingers against her heat; applying a bit more pressure each time I reach her clit. I love the sound of her moans, “Ah.” I push one finger in her since she’s still tight. I can tell it’s not as much pain as it was only over a week ago. I add another finger to stretch her out more.

“You ready?” I ask searching her eyes for a no.

“I am,” she smiles.

I pull my fingers from her; licking them clean like always. I step closer to her so our bodies are pressed tightly against one another. I line myself up at her entrance then slowly push in. Colleen groans. I wait until she tells me I can move. I thrust slow and deep into her; wanting to feel every bit of her. She connects our lips when I place my hands on either side of her head. “Jump,” I say. She listens wrapping her legs around my waist; and I put one hand under her bum to hold her up. This makes it easier for me to thrust into her.

“Faster,” she breaths. I obey. I love that we can finally do this. Whether our love is known through words or physical attraction, this is what it’s all about. It’s more exhilarating this time. Colleen pulls our lips apart then places them on my neck; kissing her way to my collarbone. She lightly bites into it before sucking at the skin.

“You really don’t want me to live this down,” I laugh.

“Sorry,” she laughs pulling away from my skin.

It takes her a longer time to orgasm again, so I push on her clit once again. She groans against my chest as our highs hit. After pulling out she releases her legs from my waist. Except, she can’t hold herself up. I hold her as I wash away the smell of sex laughing; placing loving kisses against her lips. She stares back into my eyes as I rest my forehead against hers.

“Can you walk?”

“I’ll try,” she laughs. I let go of her, but she still stumbles. Colleen sits down on the shower seat while I grab our towels. I wrap one around my waist after drying myself off then wrap one around her body before carrying her to the bed.

“How do you feel?”


“It’ll go away. Eventually.”

“Ha, ha.”

I go to grab her pjs when I stumble across the bag I asked her about when we left for the airport. “What’s this?” I turn to her.

“Oh my gosh, I completely forgot about that,” she chuckles.

I open the bag to see what’s inside and pull out a black polka dot lingerie set. “You forgot about this?” I ask a little shocked.

“I guess I got caught up in the fun.”

“Will you wear it?”

“For you?” I nod my head. “Of course.” She stands up from the bed taking the clothing from my hands. She drops her towel from her body then slips into her new set.

“You look so sexy in that,” I pull her towards me by her waist. “When did you get this?”

“The girls gave it to me at the reception.”

“I can’t believe you forgot about this. I love it when you wear lingerie.”

“I know you do.” I kiss her pulling her as tight as possible against me. After putting on a pair of my briefs we get into bed; enjoying our last night together. Alone.

Toned, tanned, tattooed

"My sweet little baby…" Harry cooed, rubbing his thumb pad over my flushed cheek. I smiled and leant my head towards his hand.

"My pretty little princes…" He patted my nose with his fingertip. I felt tired, and tipsy, although I had a pint of beer and one glass of wine. Harry was tipsy too, I think, only having the same amount to drink as me. We weren’t 100% sure what we were doing at the moment, but we went along with it. But tiredness wasn’t getting the better of me. Harry still promised that I was in charge this time. It had been five minutes and his cock was hard. I was wet too, but the only contact we made, apart from Harry rubbing my cheeks and what not, was the odd accidental brush of his dick between my folds.

I sat up slightly, alarming Harry. He opened his eyes a little wider and watched me as I sank down onto his member. We both let out a long breath, until he was fully inside me. When I was comfortable, I slowly slid up and down at a delicate pace.

"Fuck, you’re so good at this, (Y/N)" Harry admired while I gently bounced. I crawled my hands up his toned, tanned, tattooed body and rested them on his pecs. I started to grind and roll my hips onto him, making him quietly groan with pleasure. His moans were never loud moans. They where always muffled and quiet. To be honest, that’s my fault. I don’t think I’ve ever been that good to make him moan loudly. He doesn’t complain, though. I don’t think he’s had better.

I got faster, taking my hips down fast and curving them as I took him out of me. My butt cheeks slapped hard together as I bobbed up and down, touching his balls.

His eyes were squeezed tightly shut, his hands taking a fist full of covers and pulling harshly. I had never seen him act like this, and frankly, it was the hottest thing ever. Never did I think that I, me could make THEE Harry Styles fall apart in front of me, let alone think that THEE Harry Styles would bump into me at TCA’s and ask me for my number. Did I fuck think we’d fall in love and get this far!

With every down thrust, his length would hit my G spot, making me scream ‘Harry’ louder than the last. The slight alcohol buzz took over my ways of working and made me slam down every thrust. I had also never acted this way before. The speed I was going was faster that I had ever done. Nothing compared to Harry’s, though.

My actions weren’t just pleasuring for me, as I watched Harry through blurred, watery eyes. His bottom lip was taken between his teeth. His jaw was tightly clenched, proving how much pressure his teeth where putting on his plump lip. He was biting so hard, he drew blood from his own lip. Concern took over me as I slowed down.

"D-do you want me to stop?" His eyes flew open and his hands gripped my thighs, digging his sharp nails into my skin and now, drawing my blood. I winced and felt slightly scared. Looking into his eyes, I recognized that look. Anger.

He started thrusting harder than ever before. I honestly was so dazed and dizzy, I could barely breath let alone speak. I was lost for words and moans as he basically started pile driving me. The pleasure was so unexplainable. To say there was a knot in my stomach, was a understatement.

I was basically screaming buy the time I reached my high. It lasted for a good few seconds. I was totally oblivious to anything happening around me. When I opened my eyes, Harry was riding out his orgasm underneath me. As his orgasm died down, I got off him and collapsed beside him, a total mess from what just happened. He bent his elbow and put his hand in between our heads on the pillow. I repeated his action. We held hands and turned to face each other.

"I love you." He slurred out.

"I love you too, baby."

I’m a new one direction, the vamps and 5sos smut blog! Check me out and follow if you want :) x

- calumharrybrad

Long way home.

Cheeky little Liam oneshot because I was bored. Enjoy!

I didn’t know what was going on with me, but I couldn’t stop looking at him. I couldn’t stop looking at the way his hands gripped the steering wheel. I let my eyes travel up his arms, admiring the muscles that were revealed by his tank top.

"Liam, how much longer until we’re home?" I asked, shifting a bit in my seat to face him more. "About half an hour" he murmured, his eyes never leaving the road. I sighed, sitting back against my seat.

"I thought you liked taking the long way home?" He questioned, glancing at me quickly. "I usually do" I murmured, trying to keep from staring at him and becoming even more turned on.

"Why don’t you like it tonight?" He asked. I bit my lip, trying to think of a way to tell him without blurting that I was horny.

I glanced at him again as an idea popped into my head. An idea that I never thought I’d do, but in this moment it seemed so inviting.

I reach my hand out and laid it on his thigh, sliding it up and down slowly. “What are you doing, love?” He asked, his grip on the wheel tightening a bit.

I smiled, squeezing his thigh softly before moving my hand to the button of his jeans, “Just go with it, babe”

I popped open the button and pulled down the zipper before slipping my hand into his jeans.

His mouth opened a bit as my hand rubbed over his cock through his boxers. “(Y/N)…” he groaned, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. I smirked, loving the hold I had on him at the moment.

"Does that feel good?" I teased, squeezing his cock a bit harder and moving my hand a little faster. I smiled, feeling him becoming completely hard beneath my hand.

"Babe" he moaned, his jaw clenching. I bit my lip, slipping my hand into his boxers and gripping his length. He let out another moan when my thumb slid over the tip.

I pumped my hand over his cock, earning a low sigh from him. “You’re so fucking bad” he growled, his hands clutching the wheel tighter. I smirked, “But I’ll make you feel so good”

He chuckled but the sound was cut short by a moan. I pumped him in my hand faster, making sure to swipe my thumb over his sensitive tip.

I knew Liam’s tells, so I knew he was getting close. I watched as his jaw clenched and he gripped the wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"Are you gonna cum, baby?" I cooed, moving my hand a bit faster and adding more pressure.

His body tensed for a moment as he fought to keep his eyes on the road. “Fuck” he finally growled, his hips jerking a bit as he came. “Fuck me…” he moaned, his body relaxing back into his seat.

I smiled and removed my hand from his jeans, “I’d love to fuck you” He licked his lips, a smirk growing on his face as he put a little more pressure on the gas pedal, “You just wait, baby girl”



Every part of me wanted her. Needed her.

But I knew it was wrong.

She drank. She never drinks and I know it was because of me. If I wasn’t such a fuck up. If I didn’t go around saying things that I didn’t mean. If I knew what to do with my feelings, how to work with them correctly, then she’d be fine. We’d be fine. This would all be fine.

“Harry,” she breathes into my ear, pushing her lower body upwards, desperate for any type of touch. I have no control. Her hips grinding up, her center pressing into me strained against my black jeans makes my mind momentarily blank out.

“Please,” she begs when I still, her fingers pressing into the bottom of my back to push me against her again.

“Baby,” I breathe, unable to control the pleasure of her grinding into me. My anxious hands search to the hem of her shirt. I bunch it up, letting the tips of my fingers graze along her stomach. Up the center then along her sides, letting my senses revel in the feeling of her warm skin underneath me. “We can’t do this,” I breathe into her neck, resting my lips on the spot just underneath her ear. “You’re drunk,” I take the skin between my teeth as she turns to allow me better access, nipping then gliding my tongue along it.

I repeat the process, knowing how much she likes it as her hands roam along my arms, squeezing at the tops. Her moans are enough to make me grow harder in my pants and I’m desperate for relief from the tension.

She grinds her hips into mine again and I nearly lose it that time, burying my head into her neck and clenching my jaw to get a grip of myself. It’s been so long. Any type of contact now is quick to send me through the roof.

“Please Harry,” she whimpers. God do I want her more than anything. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted. The only one who would ever put up with my shit. My selfish attitude, my arrogant ways.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“You’re not,” she whines, growing more impatient by the second. “I want you to.”

I know when she wakes she’ll regret this. When she finds me sleeping next to her in the morning, tightly holding onto her waist, we’ll probably go back to how it was before. Her being mad at me because I’m an asshole.

But I don’t care. She needs me just as much as I need her and I’m selfish enough to take this opportunity.

I crash my lips into hers, taking her by surprise as she gasps into my mouth. My tongue swipes along her full bottom lip before she allows me access in.

Her hands roam into my hair, fingers tugging at the roots just like she knows I love.

My tongue maneuvers with hers, taking full on control just like I know she loves.

“Harry,” she moans my name when I move to her jawline, planting slow kisses along it and then to her neck. My fingers play underneath her shirt, gliding along her bare skin.

“Off,” I demand. She lifts, allowing me to pull her shirt up and over her body, tossing it along the side. I do the same with mine before directing my whole attention back to just her. The feeling of her warm body against mine. How her hips curve just the right amount for my hands to fit over them. The contrast of my inked chest against her flawless skin.

“You’re so beautiful (y/n),” I kiss up her stomach. “Don’t you know that?”

Her breathing is erratic and I’ve barely touched her yet. I love how much of an effect I have on her.

I move back up to her lips, enveloping mine around hers. “What do you want?”

“You,” she gasps into the kiss. I grin, feeling satisfied at her simple words. Her desire for me never ceases to amaze me. Never has somebody wanted me so much. And never have I yearned for someone so much the same way.

My lips never disconnect from hers as one of my hands holds me up, the other trailing down the center of her torso, near the waistband of her long skirt, and then back up to her bra.

“I love you so much,” I breathe into her mouth as my hand navigates around her. My fingertips drum on her side and she takes the hint without either of us speaking a word. Arching her back from the bed, I reach around to unclasp her bra, pulling it down both of her arms.

If she weren’t influenced by alcohol, her cheeks would be flushed right now, feeling flustered by being so exposed even though I’ve seen every part of her body many times. Instead, I find myself flustered as my dick continues to strain against my tight jeans when I take in the sight of her bare chest in front of me.

She makes no hesitation in continuing with where we were at, reaching down to the button of my jeans.

“Baby,” I grab both of her hands before she can yank my pants off. “For you,” I remind her. “Not me.”

Fuck do I want to be in her right now but we can’t. I don’t know when I’ll have this opportunity again so I have to make it last.

With her hands in mine, I bring them to my shoulders, before letting go and moving back to her stomach. I kiss up her core, licking my lips every so often to make sure she feels my presence on her. I kiss under her breast, my hand tending to the other, as my mouth works on it. My teeth playfully tugging on her nipple, my tongue relieving the tension as I press it flat against her. I switch to the other, giving it the same attention as the last. The room fills with (y/n)’s moans, fulfilling me with the greatest satisfaction.

I move down her torso once again, my lips greedily nipping at the skin as I make my way to her core. I’m greeted with the waistband of her long black skirt when I peer up to see her hooded stare on me.

“Please,” she breathlessly begs when I move up to her mouth.

“Please what?” I take her bottom lip between both of mine.

“Touch me.”

I waste no time bringing my hands to her sides to pull down her skirt, assisting her in kicking it off when it wraps around her ankles. She urges me to take my jeans off even though I repeat to her that I only want to satisfy her and not myself.

“I need you too,” she assures to rid herself of guilt. Her hand reaches between us, her palm pressing into the front of my jeans. The small touch has me weak like she always makes me. I unbutton my jeans, stepping off the bed momentarily to yank them down. She smiles, a satisfied drunken smile as I step out of them, crawling back over her on the bed.

“I don’t think I have any control when it comes to you,” I refer to her state of self-satisfaction in me listening to her demand.  She laughs before I veer to more seriousness. “I love you.” She frowns.

“Shh,” she presses her lips into mine to mute anymore conversation. I let her win, not wanting to oppress her anymore.

I adjust my positon, my knee urging her legs to spread. Her hands roam all over me, eagerness taking over her body as she waits for me to continue. I want to make this last for as long as I can but I can barely control myself as she begins to grind her hips again.

“I’m gonna come if you keep doing that,” I breathe into her mouth. I halt her movements, my hands finally landing on the spot she’s been begging for me to touch.

“You’re soaked baby,” my fingers rub against her thin underwear, dampness welcomed on my fingerstips. She shivers underneath me. “How many times have you done this to yourself?”

She doesn’t answer and instead only focuses on the way I’m making her feel, my fingers pushing her underwear to the side. “How many?” I press her again. I need to know.

“How many what?” She breathlessly asks when I make contact with her bare skin, stroking between her folds.

“How many times have you touched yourself? Since we were last together,” I add.

“None.” She’s lying.

“Don’t lie to me.” I halt my movements.

“Fine, three. Three time,” she whines. I accept her answer and move my fingers in drawn out circular patterns along her clit.

“Did you miss me?” Her eyes are closed as she focuses on the feeling. My lips ghost over hers, barely brushing against them as I greedily capture her moans into my mouth. “My touch?” I move to suck on her neck, collecting her wetness on my fingers as I touch her. My index finger pushes into her first, followed by my middle. She’s so warm and fuck, still tight. I need to be in her or I might just pass out.

But I can’t. I have to have control. Some sort of self-control.

I use my words. “No one can touch you the way I do,” I adjust my body position, propping myself over her better to circle my fingers inside of her. “No one knows you the way I do,” her head rolls to the side as she indulges in the pleasure. “No one knows your spots,” I rub her clit as my fingers move at a faster pace, her hips beginning to buck. “No one but me,” I whisper into her ear as she begins to tighten around me, my fingers strained in the tight enclosement as I bring her near her finish.

“Harry,” she whimpers. I lock on her every movement as she unravels beneath me, my last few touches inside of her working her body. The way her eyes screw shut. The way she takes her bottom lip between her teeth before I beg her to let it out. The way she listens to me and relaxes, letting the moans escape from her lips to echo through the room. The way her walls clench so tight around me, I can barely move my hand, before releasing and expanding. The way her body sinks into the bed, feeling the upmost relaxation. The way her neck and chest always flush red after her orgasm. The way she tastes as I bring my fingers to my mouth. The right mix of sweet and saltiness that go from my lips to hers after I kiss her. The way she smiles, her lazy tired smile as she giggles at what just happened. The way she looks at me, tugging on my hair to pull me down to her lips for one last kiss before nuzzling into my chest. The way she quickly falls asleep, latching her arms around me as if she doesn’t want me to ever leave her side. The way she’s everything to me and that no matter what happens from here on out, I will always love and need her.

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Four

*Colleen’s P.O.V.*

I can’t believe the day is finally here. “How are you feeling, Love?” El says looking through the mirror at me.

I sigh smiling at her, “I feel great. I just can’t believe it’s happening in a couple of hour…”

“Knock, knock,” I hear Harry.

“Harry, get out! You’re not supposed to see me today!” I yell.

“I won’t come in. I just want one of the guys to give you something since I know you’re wearing the pearl necklace.”

“How do you know that?”

“It’s me you’re talking to.” We chuckle together.

“Fine, send whoever in.”

Louis walks through the door shoving Harry away and closing the door to make sure I’m not seen. “Jeez, Colleen! Do you not have the decency to put clothing on?!” I’m sitting in my bra and underwear.

El rolls her eyes, “Shut it, Louis, you’ve seen her in a bikini. Just hand over whatever it is you’re supposed to give her.”

He pulls a small box from his leather box from his pocket, “Here,” he smiles.

I gently take the box from his hand then open it. “Oh, Harry!” I say knowing he’s on the other side of the door. He laughs. “They’re beautiful.” There’s a pair of real pearl earrings that match the necklace he was right about. The one that I’m wearing.

Louis takes my hand in his kissing it, “I’ll see you out there, Love,” he smiles.

After Louis leaves the room Andrea enters saying, “So, since it’s traditions to have ‘something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue,’ I want this to be your something borrowed and something blue. She gently places a flower shaped pin with blue diamonds as the flower. “It was Maura’s something old and blue that she gave me for my wedding; and apparently Denise got something similar.” Andrea places her hands on my shoulders and whispers, “I’m so proud of you.”

Perrie helps me do my makeup; the only person I’ve ever let do mine. El does my hair just letting it fall behind my back since it’s long enough. She re-pins the flower clip Andrea gave me to gently pull back my bangs.

I stare into the mirror in my Alfred Angelo’s Disney Princess, Belle dress. From the second line of dresses. I took everything from the Belle line. I keep the veil covering my face because my dad will pull it back as a way of passing me on.

Wedding Dress:


Flower Girl:


I stand in the back of the church I grew up in breathing deeply; still not believing this is happening. My dad meets me in the back of the church as I watch Andrea and Niall walk up next followed by Liam and Nicole, and Zayn and Perrie. We pair up Eleanor with Niall’s brother to make sure she is in the wedding party too.  My sister and Louis walk up the aisle last because she’s my matron of honor, and he’s Harry’s best man. Rachel’s daughter is the flower girl. Harry and I are the last to get married out of us all; and it’s perfect. As a Catholic the “Here comes the Bride” song isn’t allowed, so I walk down the aisle with my dad to “The Wedding March.” Everyone stands up to turn back towards me. Harry isn’t paying attention; I can tell he’s nervous because he kisses his cross necklace.

When he does look I can see how taken aback he is. His eyes widen; his mouth agape. I can’t help but to smile and blush seeing how wonderful he looks in his tuxedo. I start to cry tears of joy; the only kind I can manage. I glance at my father, and see him trying to hold back tears. I get to the altar and hand my bouquet of red roses to my sister then turn back to my dad as he lifts my veil.

“I love you, Colleen,” he kisses me. “Take good care of her, Harry,” he adds sternly.

Harry takes my hand as we turn to the priest. Because it’s a traditional Catholic wedding, with Harry’s agreement, the length of the ceremony is very long; about two hours. Now, it’s finally that time.

He places the ring on my finger, “I, Harry, take you, Colleen, to be my beloved wife, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life.”

Now I do the same; I place the wedding band on his finger. I continue to stare into his eyes happily; not letting go of his large, soft hands, “I, Colleen, take you, Harry, to be my beloved husband, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life.”

“You may now kiss the bride.” Harry takes my lips into his; feeling more passion than ever. We turn to the crowd with everyone clapping. We walk out of the church hand-in-hand smiling as big as possible after everyone else. Bubbles are blown as we make our way to the limo. It immediately takes us to the Hotel Hershey; the place where I’ve always dreamed of having my wedding reception.

I want to eat first, but pictures are taken through The Rose Garden. Many taken by the roses Harry had made for me. An hour later and we go inside to eat. Hopefully. The head table is the wedding party; with our parents and immediate family at the table right next to it.

After we eat it’s time to dance; the boys sing Irresistible taking Harry’s verse as we dance our first dance. This song has meant so much to us through this past year. We dance as we always do around the floor as happy as we can imagine. My dad gets the next song; and we crack up the crowd when the 1960’s Batman TV series theme song plays. Growing up, we always joked this would be our song.

We cut the cake that I’ve always wanted to look like my parent’s wedding cake. Three tiers; two on the bottom, two that come in a bit and are connected by stairs that hold figurines of the wedding party, a middle tier at the same level to help hold the top and final tear which is lead up with stairs with Harry and myself on the top.

Andrea, Eleanor, Perrie and Nicole come over to Harry and me, “Can we borrow her?” they giggle.

“Sure, just don’t be too long,” Harry laughs in reply.

“Girls, what’s going on?” I ask once we’re away from everyone else.

“Last minute girl time before you head on your honeymoon,” says Eleanor.

“We just want to give you something for the trip,” Nicole wiggles her eyebrows. “It’s from all of us.” Andrea hands me a bag.

I don’t even have to open it the whole way to see what it is. It’s a black lingerie set with white polka dots. It’s a low heart line cut with thin straps to hold up my breast, that still covers my midriff and panties.

“I hate and love you guys. I guess you want me to use this tonight?” I joke

“Of course! Any idea where he’s taking you?”

“Of course not. It’s a surprise, go figure.”

“Men,” Andrea says shaking her head. “My honeymoon was a surprise too. He even guided me through the airport blindfolded along with his iPod so I couldn’t hear anything. Next thing I know we’re landing in Bali, Indonesia.”

“We knew Niall had it in him.”

“How was it?” Eleanor asks excitedly.

“How was what?” Andrea asks slyly.

“Indonesia of course.”

“I’m not elaborating. You remember what happened last time I ‘kissed and told,’” Andrea winks.

“That’s all you can say about it,” I laugh, “Niall told me that you two hardly left the cabin,” I wink.

“I thought he did. He’s a little shit, that Irishman.”

The night has settled in, and everyone is having a blast. My family loves his and vice versa. It was great that Harry could fly his entire family out here, if not most of them. I told them the story of how he proposed; nearly shocking me to death. Everyone dances together. I love wedding receptions because everyone just lets loose not caring how they dance; whether they’re drunk or not. We line dance to old and new ones; Macarena, the cha cha slide and so on.

It’s finally that time where the bride throws the bouquet and the groom throws the garter. I face the DJ as all the women, who are only supposed to be single, take the dance floor. So naturally, my best friends are in the crowd. “Ready?” I laugh, and they all scream. I toss the roses over my hand then quickly turn to see who has caught it. Andrea. Andrea is the one to catch it. I turn to Niall watching his expression change from enjoyment to shock.

Now Harry gets to remove my garter. I sit on a chair that was pulled to the center of the dance floor, and Harry kneels in front of me. A smirk drawn across his face as his fingertips touch my leg. I stare back into his eyes that never break contact. I feel his hand finally reach the garter. His smirk still plays on his face as he drags it off of my leg.

“Who’s ready to catch the garter?” Harry teases without disconnected our eye contact. He stands up as the guys gather behind like the girls did with me. Harry continues to smirk as he tosses my garter. My cousin ends up catching it; another one who is married. I look at his wife who just shrugs it off as a ‘go figure’ gesture. Now my cousin has to put the garter on Andrea until she tells him to stop. I watch Harry from the other side of the dance floor giggling then look at Niall who is still glaring; especially at my cousin.

“Niall, this is what happens at my family’s wedding receptions,” I elbow him.

“But that’s my girl.”

“Yea? And what if El, Per or Nicole caught it? Imagine if it was two of my cousins or two of Harry’s!” I continue to laugh.

“Alright, alright,” his glare breaks to a smile.

The party continues at it’s peak after the whole show. “Good evening, Mrs. Styles,” Harry says as he wraps his arms around me from behind. “One more dance then we’re off,” he kisses my neck. It’s the final slow dance to “So She Dances” by Josh Groban. The dance is over and now Harry and I are off after getting changed for our flight. My mom will hold onto my dress.

While in the limo to the airport Harry says, “I wonder how Andrea and your cousin feel after catching the bouquet and garter,” laughing.

“Niall was angry, but it’s the luck of the catch,” I laugh back. I shuffle with the bag the girls gave me keeping it from falling over.

“What’s that?” Harry asks.

“Something for tonight…”


“You’ll see,” I smirk at him looking at him through the corners of my eyes.

Shower kisses.

I wrote this at 2am because Harry feels. There’s no sex, it’s just cheesy fluff I suppose (:

"Did you ever think that, like a year ago, we’d be dating now?" I asked, reaching past Harry and grabbing my platter of Chinese food.

He smiled, settling down on the couch beside me and pressing play on the movie. “I didn’t think we would, but I always hoped for it”

I smiled at his answer and handed him his food, “I did too”

After we had eaten we laid on the couch, watching the end of the movie. I rested my head against his chest, snuggling closer to him as the ending credits came onto the screen.

"What can we do now?" I asked, sitting up and tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. He shrugged, "Well, we could shower. Because frankly, we both reek of Chinese food"

I nodded, “True. You can go first” He sat up on his elbows, “We can just go together”

I felt my stomach tense at his suggestion. I loved Harry with all my heart, but I just wasn’t ready to go that far. Not yet.

"Harry… I’m not…" I murmured, looking down at my lap. He sat up quickly, "No, no, babe. I didn’t mean that. I know you’re not ready to go there, (Y/N). I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel weird"

He reach out and took my hand, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles, “Just forget about it, okay? Pretend I didn’t even make that stupid suggestion”

I shook my head, “No, Harry, it’s fine. I mean… We can shower, I’m just not ready for sex”

He looked at me, “Babe, you really don’t have to” I shook my head again, “Harry, it’s fine”

I let go of his hand and stood off the couch. “You coming?” I asked, glancing at him over my shoulder as I walked towards his bathroom.

I slipped into the bathroom and turned on his shower. I adjusted the water before turning around to face him. “Are you really sure you want to do this?” He asked, making me smile.

"I’m gonna be naked in front of you sometime… Might as well break the ice" I said, slipping off my sweater.

He nodded and pulled off his shirt, dropping it to the floor and trying not to look at me as I stripped down to nothing and stepped into the shower.

I turned so that my back was to him and let the warm wash down the front of my body. When he stepped into the shower behind me, my stomach fluttered.

"This isn’t awkward, right?" He asked, sounding unsure about the situation. I took a small breath and turned to face him, trying not to be too shy about my body.

"Nope" was all I said, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his lips.

He smiled down and me and reach out, letting his fingers brush some water droplets from my cheek. “You’re so beautiful” be murmured, leaning down a bit and kissing me again softly.

I smiled into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting to be closer to him.

"We don’t have to have sex, but we can kiss a little" I said, making him smile. "I like that idea" he said, connecting our lips again.

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him as our lips moved in sync.

His fingers brushed along my lower back as he whispered sweet nothings between our kisses.

"I love you so much" I said, breaking our kiss and laying my cheek against his chest. He kissed the top of my head, rubbing my back softly, "I love you too, baby"

After a bit we moved onto actually washing ourselves and finally getting out of the shower.

He grabbed a towel and handed it to me. “I’ll get you something to sleep in” he said, wrapping a towel around his waist and heading into his bedroom.

I dried off and waited for him to come back.

He came in with one of his shirts and a pair boxers. I took them from him as he gathered up our dirty laundry and took it to the hamper before dressing himself in some boxers. I dressed quickly and then followed him into his room.

I crawled into his bed and got under the covers, sighing at how soft they felt.

He grabbed the remote from the stand and crawled into bed beside me. “Okay, should we continue where we left off on Friends last time?” He asked, hooking his arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

"Yeah" I said, laying my head on his chest and draping my arm across his stomach as he pressed play on the show and tossed the remote beside him.

I smiled to myself as I laid there in his arms, feeling more at home than I ever had anywhere else.



So, this is loosely based on this request: Can you guys write one where Harry is a music teacher for like 1st graders and Y/N is the kids teacher, then like Y/N turns Harry on and at the end of the day Harry calls Y/N to his room for help with something but ends up banging her” I kinda hit writers block halfway through and had to push through the rest, so I am genuinely sorry if it sucks ass.

"Okay, everybody please stay right behind me and no roaming off" I called out to the small parade of children shuffling down the hall behind me.

"I don’t even like music, why do we have to go to Mr.Styles’ class" one boy said, dragging his feet along.

I smiled and stopped outside of the door to music class,”Because music is cool and you always end up having a good time”

The boy huffed and I opened the door, allowing everyone to file inside.

I stepped in to make sure everyone took their seats without a problem and Mr.Styles spotted me.

"Good morning, Ms.(Y/L/N)" he said, flashing me a smile that was nicely complemented by his dimples.

"Good morning" I relied politely, trying not to stare at him for too long. Which was hard because the guy was absolutely gorgeous.

He leaned back against his desk, getting ready to say something when one of the kids in the front knocked over her cymbal. He took a step forward but I was already heading there.

"I’ve got it" I said, going over and picking it up. I bent down to adjust the legs to be more sturdy. When I stood up and turned, I couldn’t help but notice the small smile on Styles’ face.

"Thank you" he said, gesturing towards the cymbal. I nodded and smoothed out my skirt, "No problem"

I gave the class a quick smile before heading towards the door.

"Ms.(Y/L/N)?" he called out, making me stop. I looked at him, "Yes?" 

"Can I see you later today? After classes are over? I’d like to go over some scheduling things with you" he said, crossing his arms and looking at me.

I nodded, “Yes, of course. I’ll come by later” He smiled, “Thank you”

I gave him a quick nod and left the room.

I spent the rest of my day doing my usual duties as a teacher. Making sure everyone had their homework, breaking up little classroom arguments, and making sure that everyone got the help and attention that they needed.

By the time the end of the school day rolled around, I was exhausted. I wanted to see what Styles’ needed and then just go home.

I grabbed my purse from my desk and headed down the hall to his classroom. I tapped on the door lightly before peaking in.

He looked up at me from behind his desk. “Oh, come in” he said, sitting his pen down next to a little stack of papers.

I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me. “I came to see what you needed to talk to me about” I said, walking over and sitting my purse on his desk.

He smiled, running a hand through his hair, “Yes. The scheduling” he stood up and grabbed a sheet of paper, coming around the desk and handing it to me.

I looked it over, “These are the changes for after summer break?” He nodded, “Yes. A lot of things got shifted around, but our classes are still pretty much back to back”

I handed him back the sheet of paper, “Okay… I have a question” He gave me a nod, “Yes?”

"Couldn’t you have given me this earlier and I could have returned it tomorrow?" I asked. He smiled, "I could have… But I’d have to had waited until then to see you again"

I looked at him, “What?” He smiled, sitting the paper on his desk, “I wanted to see you, (Y/N)”

I felt a small blush reach my cheeks, “Oh” He stepped forward, “We’ve never really gotten to be around each other without all the kids around”

I nodded, “Why would we need to be?” He bit his lip, his eyes sliding down my body, “Let’s not do this”

I lifted an eyebrow at him, “Excuse me? Do what, Mr.Styles?”

He smirked, “C’mon, (Y/N). You come in here every single morning with your tight skirts and those heels that make your legs look incredible. And I always catch you staring at me much longer than needed”

I felt my cheeks heat up, “I do not stare at you!” He giggled, making me blush even harder. “You do” he simply said, coming over to me and letting his fingers brush down my arm.

"And even if I do, which I certainly do not… What are you getting at?" I asked, trying to keep my voice firm.

He smirked, “Schools over, almost all the teachers are gone, and it’s just you and I in this room. What do you think I’m getting at?”

I tilted my head to the side, letting my eyes lock with his for a moment, “Definitely not scheduling”

He laughed, reaching out and letting his hand land on my waist, “You haven’t left yet, so I know you know what I mean, and I think you’re into it”

I nodded, “I obviously do… But, no offense, I hardly think you’re the man to please me”

He scoffed, walking around me and locking the door to the room, “Is that so?” I turned to face him, “Did it sound like a joke?”

He nodded, walking back towards me slowly, “You don’t think I could have you on that desk screaming for me in minutes?”

I rolled my eyes, “You’re so damn sure of yourself”

He shrugged, stopping right it front of me, “I think I could please you just fine… Why don’t you take me for a test drive?”

I smirked, “How could you possibly satisfy me when you haven’t even had the balls to kiss me yet?”

Once those words left my mouth, I knew it was on.

He stepped forward, taking my face between his hands and kissing me roughly.

It was possibly the best kiss I had ever had, but I wasn’t going to admit that to him.

His hands moved to my waist, pulling my body closer to his as he pressed me against his desk.

"When you came in here this morning and bent down to fuck with that cymbal, seeing your ass in that tight skirt… I could have pulled you out of this room and fucked you senseless" he growled, letting his hands slide to my ass.

I let out a small moaned when he squeezed it roughly through my skirt. He smirked, “Something tells me you like it rough, don’t you, baby?”

I looked at him, “Find out”

He didn’t waste any time in pulling my blouse over my head, tossing it aside and letting his lips roam my neck. I moaned softly, running my fingers through his hair.

He moved his hands to the zipper of my skirt, sliding it down slowly and letting my skirt slip down my legs.

His fingers brushed along my hips before he hooked his hands around the backs of my thighs and he lifted me onto his desk.

His lips connected with mine again as I started undoing the buttons on his shirt. “Not so hesitant now, are you?” He teased, shrugging off his shirt.

I smiled, “I just wanna prove you wrong”

He chuckled, “We’ll see who was wrong, baby doll”

He stepped back and unbuttoned his jeans, coming back over to me and allowing me to slide them down his thighs.

I couldn’t help but let my eyes linger on the bulge in his boxers. He was ridiculously sexy and it was driving me crazy.

"Are you just gonna stare?" He asked, making me look up at him. "Shut up" was all I could mutter before his lips were back on mine.

He slid his hand up my thigh, letting his fingers brush against my heat. I bit my lip to stop a moan, not wanting to let him know just how desperately I wanted it.

He smirked, noticing my lip bite, and slipped my panties to the side. He brushed his fingers up my slit before pressing them against my clit.

I gasped, gripping the edge of his desk. “Someones sensitive” he teased, moving his fingers in slow circles.

I couldn’t stop the moans from spilling past my lips. It only encouraged him to go faster. “You like that, huh?” He asked, pressing his lips against my jaw and sliding his fingers down to my entrance.

He kissed along my neck softly as he slowly slid a finger into me, making me moan out. He smiled against my skin, curling his finger and making my back arch.

I let my head fall back, allowing him more access to my neck.

"Fuck me" I finally moaned. He straightened up and took his hand away from me, smirking at me, "What was that?" I clenched my jaw, "I said, fuck me, you ass"

He smiled, “Was that so hard?” I scoffed, “Shut up and show me what you were so cocky about”

He didn’t hesitate to push his boxers down, revealing his fully hard cock. I couldn’t help but smirk, “Not bad, Styles”

He moved his hands to my thighs, spreading my legs and pulling me closer to the edge of his desk, “You haven’t seen anything yet”

He took himself into his hand, pumping a few times and pulling my panties to the side, then rubbing his tip against my folds.

I bit my lip, watching as his tip barely sunk into me before be pulled away again. “Stop being a tease” I groaned.

He smirked, “Fine”

He gripped my hips and pushed into my slowly. I moaned, letting my arms wrap around his neck as he held inside me.

"You’re so tight," he murmured, "when’s the last time you got fucked real good?" I smirked, "Ask me that again later"

He smiled at my little tease and pulled back before slamming into me again. I moaned, gripping his shoulders as he began to rock into me faster.

"Fuck" I whimpered, wrapping my legs around his waist.

He started to pound into me deeper, making my back arch into his body. “You sure seem to be enjoying this” he said, a sexy grin crossing his lips as he pushed into me deep.

All I could do was moan in response. I couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of him inside of me. Hitting that little spot that drove me wild.

"Faster" I gasped, scratching my nails down his back as be thrusted into me rougher. He moaned, the sound only turning me on more.

I slid my hand between us and pressed my fingers to my clit, rubbing in fast circles.

I moaned louder at the double sensation. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum” I finally moaned, letting my head fall back in pleasure as he pounded himself into me hard.

"Cum for me" he said, gripping my thighs as he rocked into me deep.

I felt breathless as the pleasure intensified and my body arched against him. He wrapped his arm around me as my body tensed and I moaned his name.

He bit his lip as his hips jerked forward and his fingers dug into my hips. “Fuck” he finally growled, stilling inside me as he came.

We both stayed in the same position for a moment. I let my forehead rest against his chest as I regained my breathing.

"So… When’s the last time you got fucked real good?" He asked, making me look up at him with a smile. "Mmm… About two minutes ago" I said, leaning up and kissing him quickly.

He smiled and pulled away from me, pulling up his boxers and jeans before collecting my clothes from the floor for me.

"I’m going to need to see you after classes again tomorrow" he said, handing me back my clothes.

I laughed, “Is that so? What for?”

He smiled, taking a seat behind his desk as I redressed myself, “Let’s just say… More scheduling.”


The Cute One - Niall Horan

*Y/N’s POV*

He was just one of my classmates. We had math class together, we said hello to each other in the school hallways but we weren’t actually friends.

He was a normal guy. Tall, blonde, with beautiful blue eyes and he had good taste in clothes. He had four friends at school and they would all act like brothers. Niall was the cute one, Louis the class clown, Harry the flirty one, Zayn the mysterious one and Liam was the smart one. To be honest, if I could’ve been friends with them, I would be best friends with Niall because I liked him the most. Well, maybe it was because I had a little crush on him.

So, it was time for math class and I was already in the classroom as Niall sat next to me. “Hey Y/N,” He said, smiling at me. “Hi Niall, do you have time after class?” “Yes I do, this is my last class so…” “How about coming home with me? We can study for the test on Thursday?” “Sounds good” I said with a smile as our teacher came in.

After class finished, we walked to his house since his house wasn’t that far away from our school. he led me inside into his room and I sat on his bed. He sat down next to me and took out his math book. We really worked for a good hour until he said ‘”Why don’t we take a break?” I nodded and lay down on his bed. “This is very cozy..” He chuckled and lay down next to me. “Y/N?” “Yeah?” “I really like you. You should come here more often.” He rolled onto his side, looking at me. “That’s a great idea because I like you too.” He smiled and I turned onto my side to look at him properly. By now our faces were just inches away from one another, and he was looking at my lips, then deeply into my eyes. Suddenly his eyes closed and his lips kissed mine.

I was surprised for a moment but kissed him back. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on top of him, so I was straddling him. I put my hands around his neck, stroking it with my thumbs. He grabbed my butt which made me gasp. He rubbed it softly and put his hands into the back pockets of my jeans. I started unbuttoning his plaid shirt as he broke the kiss to take off my shirt. Unfortunately I had my ugliest bra on - a nude colored one. He just chuckled and took it off as well, flipping me over and cupping them in his hands. I moaned as he rubbed my nipples with his thumbs. He continued and I took off his jeans and boxers, to find his hard erection. I grabbed it in my hand and started pumping slowly. He stopped playing with my tits and moaned. I went faster which made him moan “Ohhhhh Y/N..” I pushed him on his back and got in between his legs, still pumping him, and took the head of his dick in my mouth. He moaned loudly at this and began moaning even louder as I sucked him even harder. “Y/N I’m so close! You’re so good at this!!” I pumped faster and licked the slit of his head and took it in my mouth again and he came. I swallowed it down and kissed him again. He took off my jeans and panties in one movement and got on top of me, pushing his dick deeply into me. I moaned loudly at this. He started slow, then picked up the speed going faster and faster until we both came. He gently lay down beside as we both tried to control our panting.

"Oh hell Niall.. This was amazing," I said, trying to catch my breath. "You were amazing. No, you are amazing," He chuckled. He took me in his arms. "Let’s cuddle a bit until you have to go again."

Also find this on

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Three

*Colleen’s P.O.V.*

It’s been a couple of months since I ran. I’ve been updated by Andrea, the only one I will talk to, that there’s a manhunt for Jack. I made her make yet another promise; to tell no one she has been talking to me. No one. If Harry knew; he’d kill her.

Anyone who finds him gets a reward, and no questions asked about how he was found or if he’s injured. I’ve been reassured that once he’s caught there’s no way he will be allowed to leave. Ever. I’ve been promised. There’s also a restraining order on him so he stays away. He can’t even be in the same town as me. I wake up every morning around eight; never being able to sleep any longer. I shower since it’s actually been a few days; the only thing that crosses my mind is death. I can’t really get into any routine. After my shower I head downstairs to help my dad with breakfast; one thing I have come accustomed to since I’ve been back. It relaxes my nerves as much as the Ativan does. Today, when I walk through the kitchen door I freeze seeing Harry at the breakfast bar with a cup of coffee in his hands.

“Harry!” I gasp.

“Hi,” he greets back staring at his cup.

“I’ll give you two a moment,” my dad says as he puts his cup in the sink.

“How… How have you been?” I ask when I know for sure my dad isn’t listening in.

“I’ve feel like shit considering my so called girlfriend shut me out once again and left without saying a word,” anger rises in his voice. “I had to see stories of you through tabloids and gossip magazines all saying the same thing. That you left me! And hated me!”

“Harry, I can expl-“

“Well please do, Colleen!” he interrupts. “Because I’ve been wracking my brain; trying to piece everything back together and make sense of it all! Why you left me,” Harry yells. “Why you kept stuff from me…” he starts to tear up.


“Did you even know what happened the night Niall and Louis arrived at their apartment?!”


"Niall and Louis caught him red handed trying to get in through the bedroom window! Eleanor and Andrea were in hysterics. Niall and Louis got a few punches in before they threw him out and called the cops anonymously. They didn’t even accept the reward that was offered; all they cared about the girls’ privacy and our safety."

“Harry! I’m sorry! I know that I should have told you and everyone else. Told you all of what was going on. I was selfish; I’ve realized that. I… That’s why I left; I had to fight this myself. It would only work if I could get through this myself! If I stayed and pretended that I was okay and happy, I would have ruined your career! You and I would have never been the happy couple we wanted to be. I did this for us,” I step closer to him, “So that we can have a happier, stable future. I went to rehab. It’s been two months now, and I haven’t been cutting; the night-terrors have nearly disappeared. I wish you could understand why I had to leave everyone, and sort this out myself first. I’m healed now, at least more than I was, and I can now be the girlfriend I always wanted to be for you; the one that doesn’t flinch when you touch her. Harry, I did this for us!” I finally get to say as I place my hands on his face pulling him close to place a gentle kiss on his lips.

He pulls away wiping the tears off his face speaking again, “Niall and Andrea took the first flight they could get to Ireland when he finally reached her. I haven’t heard from them since. Louis and Eleanor have been taking care of me… Zayn joined Perrie on her tour, and Liam and Nicole are spending most of their time between her family and his.”

“I know…” I look away. “I’ve been talking to Andrea for the last couple of weeks. Emailing, texting, and Skype once a week. I missed them. Not seeing Andrea since before tour was agonizing.”

“And not talking to me wasn’t?! Why couldn’t you have called me?! Or make contact with me, Colleen?!”

“Because I knew you would find your way back to me whether you knew or not! You know me better than I know myself! We were meant to be, Harry. Don’t you see that?!” With that Harry kisses me again; he pulls me as close as possible to him, and kisses me how I’ve always wanted to be kissed by him.

“That felt good,” Harry laughs resting his forehead against mine. “Don’t ever leave me again.”

“I won’t. I promise.” I wipe his tears away.

“Your…” he slowly speaks, “Your dad said something about nightmares. That you had them every night before you went to rehab, but you wouldn’t tell your parents what they were about… Will you tell me…?” The tears that had subsided start again as I tell him about the first one I had, and then he’s crying with me as I tell him about the others. “Shh. Shh. It’s alright. No one’s going to hurt you. I know I’ve made this promise a lot over the past year or so, but I want you to know that I will keep you safe and protect you from now on,” Harry brushes the hair out of my face.


For the next few weeks Harry and I spend most of the time with my family, relax in the sun, and just act like normal people for once. The guys are headed out in a month to retake the rest of the tour; finishing it up for the fans they’ve disappointed.

I wake up at eight like always and head downstairs immediately since I’m hungry. It’s weird; Harry wasn’t in the bed when I woke up. Must be in the shower, and I didn’t hear it, or he went out for a jog. I want to surprise him with breakfast in the back yard. As I’m zooming around the kitchen humming my favorite song my dad steps into the room.

“It suits you,” my dad says.

“Daddy…? What are you talking about?” I eye him.

“Your hand.”

“Oh my… He didn’t, did he?” I look at my dad confused.

“Sure looks like he did,” he smiles.

“Did he ask you for permission?!”

“He did. That morning he arrived. He told me he had to knowing how old-fashioned you are in relationships. Told me all about the night he asked you to be your girlfriend. Seems like the ring matches the bracelet.” And it does. It’s perfect; just a thin band with a single diamond that’s slightly raised. I run upstairs hoping Harry would be back. And he was, but I didn’t see him. I see that our bed is made perfectly with a note on top of my pillow. As I read it the butterflies that I get every time I think about him, hear him sing or talk to him begin in my stomach.

Hey Beautiful,

I love you. Join me in the Hershey Gardens at 9 am. I’ll be waiting.



I look at the clock on the nightstand, it reading 8:30. It’s about a twenty minute drive to the gardens from here. I don’t have much time, so I throw on jeans, do my hair as best as I can manage then run out of the house. After walking around the Gardens for what feels like forever I finally see him, my Harry. I can’t help but to smile every time I see him. I know now, after everything we’ve been through, I only want him. Nothing will tear us apart.

“Hey,” I breath after running into his arms.

“Hello, Love,” he wraps his arms around me kissing the top of my head, “I’ve missed you. The real you.”

“I have too…” I trail off.

“Walk with me,” he says grabbing my hand.

“Okay,” I laugh. “But what is this all about, Haz? The ring? The Rose Garden?”

You’ll see,” he laughs in return. Harry walks me a few yards before we come to a stop and points at a row of roses. I take a closer look not letting go of his hand. I start to cry; they’re beautiful white roses with shades of red, mostly dark reds, titled ‘Through the Dark.’

“Oh, Harry!” I turn to him crying tears of joy for once.

“I had it made just for you, and that’s why it’s called that. Because you fought through the dark for your loved ones, you fought through the dark for our love, and most importantly you fought through the dark for your life. I love you so much, Colleen,” he pulls me into his arms. When I look up at him resting my chin on his chest he continues, “All of it made me realize that I never want to live my life without you.” He goes down on one knee, “I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life; I want to be able to hold you every time you need me, and feel the warmth that radiates from you. And since I put the ring on you this morning that leaves you with no choice but to only say yes.”

“Yes. Yes! YES!” I say throwing my arms around his neck kissing him as hard as possible. We head back home, and I can’t wait to tell my parents. And Andrea, I miss her so much. We stayed in touch over emails and Skype calls once a week, but I miss her. I really miss her. But the last time we talked it sounded like they didn’t have any plans in coming here. Ever.

As we walk through the front door everyone yells, “Surprise!” I snap my head to them all in shock. All my friends are here; Louis and Eleanor, Zayn and Perrie, Liam and Nicole and Andrea and Niall.

“ANDREA!!” I yell as I run towards her; Niall slides out of the way knowing we’re bound to fall.

“Hey baby girl, I’ve missed you so much,” she whispers.

“You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve missed you. I was just thinking to myself about how you sounded like you would nev… Whoa! What is this?!” I ask pulling her hand in mine. “When did this happen?!”

“Oh, this? Well, after what happened, Niall asked me to marry him,” she says admiring Niall.

“What they hell?! You could have invited us! Or maybe just mention it!”

“That’s what we said,” Eleanor shakes her head laughing.

“Hey, it’s not like I had a say that day!” she laughs. “I said yes, and when we woke up the next Saturday, we went for it. Maura, my mom, the twins and Denise were there; they had to be ready before two pm,” she explains.

“And you think this is funny?” I snap at Niall.

“It is. A looked beautiful that day, by the way.”

“Well, we’ll never know, now will we?”

“That’s also what we said,” Perrie says glaring at Andrea and Niall.

“Lottie, I promise it wasn’t some backyard wedding,” Niall adds, “We flew her parents in and her twin sisters, my mom and Chris. Then dad, Greg, Denise and Theo. The ceremony was in Barberstown Castle in Kildare, and she took my breath away.

“That doesn’t help since it sounds like it was wonderful,” I say finally standing up. “I understand you two wanted privacy, but wow, we’re best friends, and you could have at least told me,” I say jokingly angered.

“That’s what we told them,” Louis speaks.

“Since all of us are sharing news… Um, Harry proposed to me this morning…” I say shyly.

“We knew that…” Louis says. “Well, I did. I helped him pick out the ring.”

“Congratulations, Lottie!” Niall hugs me.

“Don’t be nice now, Ni. I’m still deciding if I want you and A on the guest list since we weren’t on yours,” I tease.

“Whatever makes you happy,” he kisses the top of my forehead.

“Why don’t we go sit outside? I got us a few drinks and snacks,” says Liam. “To celebrate all the good news that’s been going around.”

“Before we do, I just want to say, Andrea, Eleanor, Louis and Niall, I am so sorry about what happened. I never meant for it to go this far and out of control. And I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust and forgiveness,” I say holding back tears.

“Hey, don’t feel bad. It was out of your control; don’t take the blame for some pervert,” El says pulling me into a hug.

“Yea. Hey, at least we’re okay. Thank goodness Niall and Louis arrived when they did,” Andrea also embraces me.

“But what if they didn-”

“We did, Love. And that’s all that matters,” Louis hugs me too.

“Hey Lot, he’s locked away now. For good, and you’re better now. So let’s not dwell on the past, okay?” Niall joins the group hug; crushing me.

“Okay! This… Is… Getting… Awkward…” Louis shouts between breaths. Niall starts to make sex sounds, and we all struggle to move away from our group, but end up collapsing hitting the floor. Everyone starts to laugh.

“Fucking idiot,” Louis says as he gets up after punching Niall in the arm. The laughter becomes hysterical.

“Owe!” Niall laughs harder.

Personal Experience: Chapter Thirty-Two

Author’s note: Next chapter early because I feel really guilty for the last chapter; I didn’t mean to scare anyone or offend anyone. I’m still surprised at myself that I didn’t even think about how the readers would react to the content of the chapter. I am really sorry!

*Harry’s P.O.V.*

A part of me has died. Not a note, not a word from her. I know she ran; but I have no clue as to where or why. Did she give up? Did I let her down? “FUCK!” I yell as I throw her phone across the floor. “What did I do? What happened to you?” I vigorously wipe tears from my face.

“Harry, you need to calm down. She’ll make contact when she’s ready. Just give her time. Give her space,” Holly speaks from the door. Liam and Nicole’s eyes show fear and worry.

“No! I let her down!” I yell at them standing up. I shove past them going to the kitchen of my house. I immediately grab a drink from my fridge. The only thing I’ve really done since she left.

“Harry!” Liam tries to grab my beer. “You can’t keep doing this! You can’t fucking drink away your problems. Don’t forget we’re,” he motions towards Nicole and himself, “Just as worried about her, you know?! She’s our responsibility too!”

“It’s different!”

“How is it different?”

“I love her! She’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with!” The three of them look at me shocked. “Okay?!” I start to chug my beer. “I’m scared she’s given up.”

“I’m sure she didn’t give up,” Nicole says about to touch me. “Maybe she needs this. Maybe she needs to clear her head, and figure out where to go from here, Harry.” She makes contact with my arm and rubs it.

“Like I said, it’s easy for you two to say these things, but it’s not for me. Louis and Niall are are back with their girls while I have no clue where Colleen is. Zayn is with Perrie, and Liam, you have Nicole right next you. I don’t have a clue where to even start looking for her.”

“What did her dad say?” Liam asks with a look of remorse.

“He said they had no idea she ran. They thought she was still with us…” I shake my head.

Liam and Nicole leave along with Holly knowing they can’t do anything for me. I stare out the window of my London home, the one that Colleen and I finally started sharing, since I’m finally home. All I do is stare and drink. But now, now it’s only mine. I watch the sea of people walk through the streets, and the fans trying to get my attention from the front gates of the house.

My phone begins to buzz; I grab it hoping to God it’s Colleen. It’s not; it’s just Twitter. I decide to read a few.


“We love you Harry!”

“Where’s Colleen? You and her were perfect!”

“Harry, we’re worried about you.”


Days ,weeks, months have gone by, yet I’ve heard nothing. I feel absolutely nothing. I don’t know what to do without my baby girl. I’m too scared to contact her, and I can’t think of how. Everyone can feel sad for me all they want, but it’s not going to make a difference. It’s not going to bring Colleen back. After  finishing the fifth beer I’ve had today I storm out of the house grabbing my leather jacket before I slam the front door shut. I drive my Rover out of the driveway hoping everyone gets the fuck out of my way. They do as soon as the see the angered expression on my face. I could care less about the crowd of people in front of me. My thoughts were preoccupied by only one person, and one person alone. The one person I want, but the one who left without saying goodbye. The hurt and the anger rises; taking over my over my heart. I slowly slip into dangerous territories. Partying. And drinking.

As I sit at the bar of the night club my drunken state gets worse and worse. It has been weeks; over a month since I last saw Colleen. “Harry, what they hell are you doing here?” I turn looking through hazy eyes looking at who I assume to be Louis.

“How the hell did you find me?”

“Liam told me what you started, and I tracked your phone,” he answers angrily.

“Leave me alone.”

“No.” Louis grabs my arms.

“Let go of me!”

“No,” he says firmly. I wind up my arm and sock Louis in the jaw. He throws a punch right back. “We’re leaving.” I don’t say anything; only follow him solemnly.

Louis helps me into the back of his car. I see that Eleanor is in the front; almost looking as solemn as me. My eyes flutter as the alcohol takes over. The last thing I hear is, “What are we going to do?” from El.


I wake up, not in my room, but the guest bedroom I know all too well to be in Louis and Eleanor’s home. My head pounds as I struggle to sit up. “Fuck, what happened to me?”

“You’ve been getting drunk every night…” I look up to see El in the doorway holding a glass of water and something else in her other hand. “Here,” she says walking over to me. She hands me two Tylenol. I look away from her as she sits next to me on the bed. She starts to rub my back, “Harry, you’ll find her.”

“You don’t think she’ll do anything stupid do you?”

“Her? No. There’s no way,” she says matter-of-factly. I sigh deeply.

“Mate, why don’t you go after her? Start looking for her?” Louis asks joining us.


“You seem to be forgetting that you have, as selfish as this sounds, the money to get the resources to find her.”

“But that would be invading her privacy. What if I go there and she hates me for it?”

“You won’t know until you look.”

Louis’s right, I have to find her. She can hate me all she wants, but I need her. It’s no longer that wanting feeling; it’s a needing feeling. A need that makes my heart ache. My first idea is to call the hotel to see if they’ll know where the taxes took Colleen. It’s a small hope, but still a hope.

“Hello?” the front desk answers.

“Hi, this is Harry Styles. Of  One Direction, so I’m hoping I’ll be remembered…” I hesitantly say. “We were there a couple months ago, and I was wondering if the person who was working Wednesday, August fourteenth was there?”

“Yes, Trish is here. I’ll go get her for you.”

“Thank you!”

A few minutes pass, “This is Trish.”

“Hello Trish, I don’t know if whoever I just talked to told you, but this is Harry Styles.”

“Yes, I was told so. How may I help you?”

“I was wondering if you could track down a taxi service that my girlfriend took that day.”

“Her name?”

“Colleen Burke…” I hesitate.

“Just a second.” I wait impatiently hoping for some kind of news. “Yes, it was just Yellow Cap services.”

“Do you know where they took her?”

“It says Orlando International Airport.”

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I say.

“You’re welcome. Have a nice day.”

“You too!”

“What did they say, Harry?” Eleanor asks.

“They said she took a cab to Orlando International Airport…”

“You don’t think…?” Louis says hesitantly.

It hits me, “She went home,” my eyes widen. “Home home.” The other two look at me in shock.

I hop in my Rover, which they brought back for me, and drive to my house. I run through my house frantically throwing random stuff in a suitcase. I have to get to her! She’s at the only place she can get away from everything. The only place she escapes from the world. I just hope I’m not too late. Louis meets back up with me to drive me to the airport.

“One flight to JFK?”

“You’re lucky; we have one seat left, and it boards in twenty minutes.”

“I’ll take it!” The woman hands me the ticket after I pay and I rush to the waiting area. Louis and Eleanor stay with me. We keep our hoodies up; hiding ourselves as much as possible. The longest twenty minutes of my life finally pass, but now I have another eight agonizing hours to get to her. Not counting the drive I have to take from JKF; so it’s really an eleven hour trip.

“Call us when you get there. When you find her,” Eleanor says looking into my eyes placing her hand on my cheek.

“I will,” I cry. Colleen, I’m coming for you!

*Twelve hours later*

I’m finally here, and I’m terrified to enter her house. It’s almost five in the morning when I vigorously knock on the front door.

“Who the hell is at the door at five in the morning?” I hear her father say through the wall. “Who the he-” he stops mid-sentence. “What do you think you’re doing here?”

“Sir…” I stumble. “Mr. Burke,” I say shaking. “Please…?”

“You better have a damn good reason why you’re just arriving.”

“Can I come in?” He steps aside letting me in the warm house.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Mr. Burke asks after making us coffee.

“I don’t have anything to say,” I stare at my cup.

“She didn’t stop crying for weeks. She used to wake up every night screaming before she got help. She tried running one night,” he says sternly.

“I… I know she does… She had for months with me… And-”

“The first night she tried running after waking up from a nightmare, and she still hasn’t told us what any of them are about.”

I stop moving my legs and shoot my head up to look at him. Tears are on the brim of my eyes. “I am so sorry I haven’t been here. I was selfish. I didn’t know where to even look for her. I… I couldn’t think straight without her around… I had it planned that we would stop here after the tour, and I… I was…”

“You were what, Harry?!” He’s the only man other than my own dad that scares me when he’s angry.

“I was going to ask your permission if I could marry her…” I look away from him.

I see his hand tighten around his mug from the corner of my eyes. “After all of this… This… Shit. I don’t know if I want you to.” I knew this was going to happen.

“Please, sir! I can’t live without her. I’ve been going crazy. It only took me this long because I was stupid and was drinking away my problems. It took my friends to make me realize-”

Mr. Burke cuts me off, “But,” he says sternly, “All she’s been doing is wondering if you still cared for her. She never expected you to show, but I know she hasn’t given up.” I still won’t look at him. “She’s my little girl, and if you let anything happen to her, you have to deal with me.”

“I know, sir,” I say shakily.

“I will allow you to marry her. If she says yes.”

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“Go get some sleep, son.”

“I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.” Mr. Burke stays with me for a few more hours; around the time Colleen usually wakes up.